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January 15, 2008

Questionable E-Bay Purchases for: The Tottenham Fan

Despite their rabid popularity,* we do not have any Tottenham fans on the UF team. So, as any good Gooner would do, I have taken it upon myself to let the world know of all of the glories that White Hart Lane produces. Today we discuss some items from E-bay that you might want to purchase for that special Tottenham fan in your life.
Item #1: Tottenham Hotspur baseball jersey
Hoo boy, that’s ugly.
This beautiful (sic) item will cost you $34 at this time, although there have been 13 bids so you may want to act fast. When the UF team first found this item, we asked ourselves two questions: (1) do the Brits even know about baseball; and (2) how quickly would you get your arse kicked wearing this to White Hart Lane?
Item #2: Spurs “Glory Years” (sic, again) card

Poor spurs – 45 years and counting.

This little reminder of the past will currently cost you $2, and it can be all yours today, as no bids have been placed.

Item #3: A share in Tottenham Hotspur

Caution: Value may decrease significantly.

This item is currently going for the “Buy It Now” price of $58.73, and there are no bids. Buy a share and appoint yourself manager! You couldn’t do any worse than Martin Jol (Juande – you’re on notice).

Item #4: Spurs 06/07 Year in Review DVD

May contain football-like susbtance.

This item is valued at $31, and there are currently no bids. Take it home and relive the glory of the 2006/2007 season! Thrill to the 59 goals scored by Spurs in their EPL (suck it, Barclay’s!) campaign. Watch with nervous anticipation as Tottenham chases the final Champions League spot all the way to the last day of the season. Listen as 60% of the team experiences gastrointestinal distress that they blame on Arsenal. Cackle with joy at the sight of Tottenham falling just points short, and ending the season in 5th place!

There you have it – Christmas may have passed, but there is always an occasion to kick the Spurs when they’re down.

*Not actually popular


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The NY Kid





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