Unprofessional Foul
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March 20, 2008
 

Douchebag Proves Even Bigger Douchebag

Some people are just born douchebags. Joe Starkey is one of those people. The Longview, Washington resident, teacher and soccer coach was arrested this week on charges of having sex with a 15-year old student. Starkey is alleged to have admitted he slept with a 15 year-old female runaway that was staying at his apartment. Grade A douchebag right there.

Students at his school were shocked to learn of Starkey’s arrest.

Most students at R.A. Long High School say Starkey was a great teacher and coach and they are surprised he would be charged with having sex with a minor.


From the report:

“He was really cool. You could talk to him about a lot of stuff. During practice he would help you with math and stuff if you needed it,” R.A. Long High School student Alysha said. “I don’t know why he’d do that. It’s crazy. I mean, he’s smarter than that.”

No s**t he was “cool” to the students. He wanted to get in their pants. Clearly, he wasn’t “smarter than that.”

I have found Starkey’s MySpace page and it is full of interesting tidbits. First, he is a practicing Catholic:

I am a practicing Catholic, and have every intention of staying that way for quite a while, and would not mind meeting someone willing to go to church with me or practice their faith with me. Don’t get me wrong, though, I would love to meet other people, too.

Second, boy has he met some other people. Just check out these photos. [Ed. Note: Someone asked who were in the photos. On the left, Mr. Belding. On the right, Carlos Mencia and Weeman] [ 2nd Ed. Note: That’s not Wee Man…it’s Brad Williams]:

It’s obvious that this guy was born with a terminal case of douchebag-itis. Maybe he didn’t sleep with the girl but all signs still point to d-bag.

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Precious Roy