Euro 2008 Liveblog: Germany v. Turkey

Soccer is a game for 22 people that run around, play the ball, and one referee who makes a slew of mistakes, and in the end Germany always wins. – Gary Lineker

That’s it, I surrender. There is no way my new-favorite team (Euros only) comes back from this one. Word is that Turkey will have about 14 available players for this one, with one of the subs being the third-choice keeper. There is absolutely no way they play their way past the Germans, is there?

It’s still 11-on-11 on the pitch, no matter what kind of superiority in numbers the German bench has. There is an outside chance, however slight, that Turkey can do this. It is up to me today, UF’s least-disciplined liveblogger, to bring this one to you today. Join me as I dissect what will surely be a 5-0 German win

Lineups:
Germany (4-5-1): Lehmann; Friedrich, Mertesacker, Lahm, Rolfes, Metzelder; Schweinsteiger, Ballack, Hitzlsperger, Podolski; Klose. Screw you, ESPN
Turkey (4-5-1): Rustu, Balta, Gokhan Zan, Sabri, Boral; Topal, Aurelio, Altintop, Kazim, Akman; Senturk.

So, Podolski starts up top, and presumably Gomez is banished to the Black Forest. While you are waiting for the match to start, go check out some Germany highlights in Lego form Here and Here.

note: The Likely Lad, who had hoped to live blog this game from a Turkish restaurant, will still be at said restaurant. He’ll be sending us updates on his fancy phone, some of which we will pass on to you.

note mark II: For those who need your weekly Good, Bad, WTF fix, that will be going up at 6.00. Just hold out, it’s worth it.

-10 .00 ESPN is on. Foudy is foudying it up. Schweinsteiger is Art Alexakis, to continue with my “Looks like a guy who got played on MTV in the ’90s” analogies.

-7.00 It looks like The Likely Lad is not one you should rob. He just confessed to living in NYC without a Blackberry.

-4.00 Get ready for the anthems. Will Kazim Kazim sing?

-3.00 I’ll admit, I’m openly rooting for a Lehmann mistake or two to send Turkey through. Can they naturalize David Healy for this match?

That sucks, Chad. But welcome anyway. I’ll try to be faster than ESPN 360.

-1.00 Uh oh, Lehmann looks short in this lineup. You can’t teach height, as we found out from Koller in my last liveblog.

Rustu!, Ballack! Speak English, f**kers!

0.00 Kick Off! Let’s go! Turkey actually have 7 subs on the bench. We’ll see if more than two get off of it.

2.00 The field in Basel still doesn’t look any better. Germany content to possess early and make Turkey run.

3.00 I wonder if Loew will have significant pit stains like last game in the stands. And does he have all of his shirts hemmed like that, or what?

5.00 I wouldn’t want to run into Terim at a shady NYC Turkish restaurant, I’ll tell you that.

6.00 Turkey get a couple of crosses in, but come to nothing.

7.00 Kazim gets a shot off, right at Lehmann. Turkey are pushing forward when they get the ball. Probably trying to steal an early goal and then sit back.

Lehmann forced into another save when Lahm blows it.

9.00 TLL update:
Been here 5 minutes and have already gotten in trouble. Started a
tab. with my credit card. with my name… my last name which means
WAR in German. They tried to seat me behind the TV . Only got out by
ordering $14 doner entree

11.00 Germany are definitely sitting back early and not trying to push and pull a depleted Turk squad. Odd.

12.00 Another Turkish foray up front. They’ll be dead by 60 minutes at this pace.

13.00 Dear Germany, playing balls in the air to a lone, unsupported striker 40 yards out won’t win you anything.

And Kazim off the crossbar! Follow-up shot goes a yard wide for a corner. This team is going all out, as alluded to in the comment section. Corner goes for nothing.

15.00 Turkey are getting in behind the German defense. Looks good, so far for the Turks.

16.00 Klose writhes in pain after attempted tackle misses him. Free kick straight to Rustu.

17.00 Schweinie dives, no call. Germany still on attack. Cleared out for corner.

18.00 Ballack could not push his way to the corner, cleared by Rustu.

19.00 As I clarified up top, both teams are running a 4-5-1. We hate the 4-5-1 at UF.

20.00 TLL is predicting a riot if Turkey do win.

22.00 Goal! Turkey go on top after a cross from the right is directed off the crossbar. The rebound falls to Boral who puts it through Lehmann’s legs 1-0 Turkey

23.00 That’s Boral’s first international goal.

24.00 Well, they have their goal. Do Turkey sit back, or do they attack some more? Germany look disinterested in playing at all.

25.00 Aurelio does not get enough of his head on a corner to bother the Germans. The game is still in the German defensive third for the most part.

26.00 Goal! Scheinie latches onto a Rolled Podolski cross from the right. Touches it into the upper back corner 1-1

27.00 Totally against the run of play there. Can’t fault the soft finish. It was very nice. Rustu in no position to do anything.

28.00 Two rather old keepers here. Will that be a factor in the end? Neither looked good on the goals, but then keepers rarely look good when giving up goals.

29.00 Easy header collected by Jens. Another close call on the other end. Corner for Germany.

31.00 TLL in the middle of a chaotic scene. Someone bought him a beer after the first goal. We’ll see if he is still alive after the equalizer.

31.00 There it was, almost the quintessential Jens gaffe. He went out for a free kick that almost floated over his head into the goal. Corner kick cleared by Germany for another corner. Turks maintain possession.

33.00 TLL, still alive, informs us that the Turks hate Tommy Smyth, too.

34.00 Podolski gets free on the right, gets into the box, and blows it over the bar by two feet.

35.00 Jens has had to make 5 saves so far. Should’ve had 6.

36.00 Hey! I can watch MLS on this very same channel! At least the NBA is over.

38.00 Free kick Turkey right outside the box. Lahm tried to kick Kazim in the face. He missed, but still. Wall is set. Time being wasted. Kick taken as a near post shot, goes to the middle of the goal, Jens punch save.

39.00 Blood on Rolfes after he headed Akman in the back of the head. Both are off for treatment and stitches.

41.00 Game has opened up 10-on-10. Both sides push for shots. Turkey almost through on goal. Serioglu just over from 22.

42.00 Turkey look to have tired a bit.

44.00 Frings may have to come on for Rolfes. They haven’t stopped his bleeding yet.

And Rolfes is back on, never mind.

45.00 +1 Tweet Tweet I am surprised by the lack of German passion. They are not really robots, are they? Also surprising–this rather undisciplined Turk squad have no first-half cards.

Back after the break, but before I go another TLL update:
Overheard of guy talking about Turkish football, “There is no pride in waiting, only in winning.” That guy did not watch the first half of the Czech-Turk game, then.

TLL: 25 man smoke break at the restaurant.
Foudy: “Turkey is playing like they have nothing to lose” Both teams can go home here sweetie. It’s not like Germany can make the final after a loss.

45.01 Here we go. Alright, I’m sick of coffee and too wired. Maybe Germany’s play can bring me back down.

Frings on for Rolfes.

46.00 Podolski rampaging down the right, and crosses 20 yards past anyone.

47.00 Why did Demirel get a two-game ban and Schweinie only get one, anyway?

49.00 Lahm gets lucky not to get a yellow as he pulls back on a Turkish player who was past him.

50.00 TLL is still alive. He’s at a table with a guy who speaks no English. They seem to agree that Lehmann is piss, though.

51.00 Lahm bundled over in the box. It looked bad, but no penalty.

52.00 RK5 = +1

52.00 Lahm definitely fouled. Probably outside the box, though. Ah, the benefits of replay to second-guess the ref.

52.00 TFA- thanks for the answer

53.00 Yellow Card Senturk for foul on Frings (?) I didn’t see it, I was too busy laughing at RK5, still.

55.00 Germany is getting into the attack in the second half. Turkey may have done all they can do. Also, Turkey look to have gone to a 4-4-2.

Hitzlsperger over from 25.

56.00 Metzeleder down. Not touched on the sliding tackle. Still has a kick-ass playoff beard.

57.00 Altintop takes down Ballack dead center 28 yards out.

57.00 Ballack into the bottom of the wall. Black out!

58.00 This is in no way going to help my ESPN argument. Georger, you win!

59.00 I’ll steal from soccernet if I can.

60.00 Tech problems in Switzerland (lightning), other networks have the same problem.

60?.00 Altintop over from distance on a free kick.

Okay, it seems to be affecting the Beeb as well. No picture making it out of the country, I’m afraid. Turkey had another off-target shot from 20 yards.

ESPN sez radio guy sez Turkey is toying with Germany. AND WE’RE BACK

66.00 And nothing of note.

67.00 Lahm easily beaten by Serioglu, but his cross goes to no one.

68.00 Sixth Turkish corner, only two for the Germans. Headed from the near post to the top of the box. Nada here, I’m afraid.

69.00 Are we really going to extra time again? Neither team incisive over the last seven or so minutes. Kazim appeals for foul, doesn’t get it.

70.00 Lahm looks to be the weak spot for Germany’s defense. Look for Turk attacks exclusively down the right in the last 20 minutes.

72.00 Jens content to waste time with free kick from offside call.

72.00 Of course, Turkey attack from the left and get a good look, but right at Jens. Hitzlsperger just wide from 30 or so the other way.

73.00 Yes, Tuncay’s absence is felt by us all, I think.

75.00 *yawn*

76.00 Did they switch these teams for Italy-Spain in the blackout?

77.00 Bye Bye feed. Just as well.

TLL: First in-house cigarette is lit. the only thing my pal here says when
Turkey has the ball is, “In to Semih.” Also the only englis hes
spoken… broken glass!! getting edgy in here. but im 3 rakis in,
feeling brave.

Germany miss from in close. Did Gomez get in?

78.00 Goal Klose. It was awesome. I wish you could have seen it.

At least ESPN has the fan zones to show.

Apparently Rustu blew it, maybe even Cech-style, on a cross.

Soccernet guy says he has feed again. Why don’t we have ours?

Erding on for Akman.

Correction–BBC has pictures. F**kers.

TEASE!

Turkey seem to be on a steady attack, but nothing in the net yet. Of course, stoppage time is still a little but away.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL 2-2 Serioglu
Both keepers now at fault. Lehmann beaten softly near post. Rustu way misjudged a cross and had the ball headed in front of him.

88.00 It’s Turkey time now, bitches. 2 minutes from injury time.

89.00 Senturk tries a ridiculous shot one minute before he should have.

90.00 Goal Lahm goes near post. There’s still time!

Fed in by Hizlsperger. No picture.

Rustu sucks balls. Five German shots on goal, three goals.

Time must be up by now. Two injury minutes on the clock.

Game over. F**k the swiss TV people. Turkey had a free kick from 30 yards out at the end, but Metin put it over.

3-2 Germany Final
Turkey had 22 shots (15 on goal); Germany 9 (5)
Possession 63%-37%
Finally, the top quote I put up there has a bunch of resonance, doesn’t it?