Unprofessional Foul


February 27, 2009

Liverpool Claims Another Victim

Cultural currency of football in America is often gained through celebrity endorsements. Not the actual paying kind, but when a celebrity chooses to support a club by letting the world know their allegiances. Although, sometimes I wonder if these people are just wearing club gear because it looks “cool.” Or has it become cool because a celebrity decides to wear it? Damn these chicken-and-egg scenarios.

Anyway, Liverpool FC has gained a few cents of cultural currency because Maddox Jolie, adopted son of Brangelina, was spotted in Liverpool gear (and not the first time either) and our sweet valentine Kickette has the deets.

If Maddox is a genuine Red fan, I feel sorry for him because he has committed himself to years of almost and a sense of entitlement that will destroy his fragile soccer psyche to the point that he will question every little move a team makes and be gutted if a team, gasp, fails to win silverware as if it were a birthright. This comes from a Liverpool supporter mind you.

Brangelina are the it couple of the moment and maybe by being tied to them LFC can get a bit more star power in its solar system and snag it from the glory chasing Chelsea fans and trendy Arsenal fans. I only hope the snubbing of Ryan Seacrest by them starts a new trend because that is hilarious. I don’t want to get into the so-called Barcelona fans that every college student who spent a semester in Europe suddenly becomes. Those douchebags couldn’t tell a throw-in from a free-kick if their lives depended on it. Look, I know Barcelona is a great town and plays some lovely football, usually, but just because you spent a week on Las Ramblas doesn’t make you Catalan and shouldn’t let you think you can now proclaim to be a Barca fan even though you still think Ronaldinho is the best player for Barca. I hate those people.

So, what other celebrity fans are there:

Kobe Bryant–Barcelona (he did only become a fan because of Ronaldinho)
Spike Lee – Arsenal (could there be a worse fan of your club, oh wait, Osama Bin Laden is an alleged fan)
Will Ferrell – Chelsea (just like Chelsea, Ferrell blew his wad in the mid-2000s)
Bill Simmons – Tottenham (does he count as a celebrity? does it count that he did nothing besides write a column about becoming a fan but never mentioning it again?)
Matt Damon — Arsenal (ok, that is funny)

I’m sure there are dozens more. Put your evidence in the comments.

About the Author

Unprofessional Foul


  1. Precious Roy

    A) So you can abuse your baby if you adopt it?

    B) I almost think I’d rather have Bin Laden as a fan (which I knew about) than Spike Lee (which is a new one to me).

  2. Precious Roy

    Also: Joe Strummer, Arsenal fan. Raise a toast…

  3. Goat

    Steve Earle (Arsenal): http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/is-steve-earle-americas-greatest-living-songwriter-457767.html

    Relevant quote:
    “I don’t care what you think of them. I’m an Arsenal fan. I f**king am. F**king Manchester. F**king Oasis.”

  4. The Fan's Attic

    I’ve been sitting on that Spike Lee picture for a while, just waiting to spring it on some unsuspecting Gooner.

    I’m pretty sure Lee likes the Knicks, Yankees, and Giants and then any other popular team.

  5. Eladio

    Johnny Rotten — Gooner.


  6. phil

    Spurs get AJ Ayer and Kenneth Branaugh, both of whom I thought were too smart to be one of us.

  7. sven

    Clive Owen is actually a proper Liverpool fan.

  8. Precious Roy

    Yes, the original title of his best work was: “Language, Truth, and Logic: Three Things That You Musn’t Have to Pull for Spurs.”

  9. c0rrine

    Jolie’s preparation for Wanted saw her reunited with Eunice Huthart, a 41-year-old Liverpudlian and a former winner of TV’s Gladiators, who has been her stunt double since she made the Tomb Raider films. ‘Maddox is a Liverpool fan,‘ says Jolie.

    ‘He watches them whenever he can and that’s because of Eunice. She got him into soccer and she’s a Liverpool girl.


    and he also said that he wants to play for them in the future, hahaha


    also, are you interested in affiliating with ontd football? i’m not sure if this is the right place to ask, but i’ve been following your blog for a while and thought that we could do a link exchange. our community is footie a spinoff of http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com and is made of fans (mainly girls, ha) who contribute their own links/finds/articles on a regular basis. kickette get a bit of their content from us (maddox photo no exception) and we also do the thursday thigh off for them. anyways, the url is http://ontd_football.livejournal.com

    check it :)

  10. The Fan's Attic

    i can’t speak for everybody at UF or all of the readers, but i do think if there are two things we definitely could agree on liking, females and footie would likely be among the contenders.

  11. c0rrine

    oh wow, sorry. i didn’t realize that this place was a collective of several bloggers. aha i was like “cool, the UF guy is a scousaaa”. i shall forward my message to the gmail account provided on the sidebar. thank you

  12. Keith

    Ozzy Osbourne, Prince William, Tom Hanks and (eeks) Amy Winehouse- Villans all

  13. epiblast

    I believe Sylvester Stallone is a Liverpool Reserves… err.. Everton supporter.

  14. jjf3


    Wait, footie and females?

    I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter…

  15. c0rrine

    haha yes. i am a big liverpool supporter but i swear i’m not purely in it for fernando’s riding up shorts ;) our community is a fun place to be. it’s like a kickette but with 10x the ronaldo hate and 100x the nuttiness.

  16. jjf3

    yeah, we know fernando’s riding up shorts is really only 60% of your fandom :P

    hadn’t heard of the site before, but I’ll take a look…

    though I’m all for 10x the ronaldo hate…

  17. jjf3

    all that said, Joe Strummer and Johnny Rotten are Arse fans? I won’t change allegiances, but damn you, Arsenal, get your s**t straight, and start giving me a real 2nd team to follow in the EPL..

  18. Sarah

    @phil: Kenneth Branagh, a Spurs fan? I’m heartbroken. :(

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