Unprofessional Foul
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May 20, 2009

UEFA Cup’s final Final Open Thread

European Silverware day! While not as glamorous as nest week’s Champions League Final between Manchester United and Barcelona, this is guaranteed to be a historic finale. Yes, friends, today we see the last UEFA Cup Final ever. Germany’s Werder Bremen and Ukraine’s Shakhtar Donetsk will put it all on the line to see which team becomes the historical footnote/trivia answer. Or not. That’s the beauty of the game. You can never tell how it will be played until the match is in motion.

Shakhtar and Bremen both benefited from entering the competition at the knockout stage after being dumped from Champions League play. That’s not a bad parachute to have if you can ride it to the final. Inside, we’ll hit on lineups and both teams road through the competition. In case that’s not enough for you, you can go look back at Werder’s entry into The Good, The Bad, The WTF, and know that Shakhtar will get added in after the match. Will they be secondary champions of Europe at the time? Hell for all I know, it will still be in PKs when that post goes live.

Shakhtar Donetsk

Round of 32: Tottenham Hotspur 3-1
Round of 16: CSKA Moscow 2-1
Quarterfinals: Olympique Marseille 4-1
Semifinals: Dynamo Kyiv 3-2

Today’s lineup:
Pyatov, Kucher, Fernandinho, Jadson, Ilsinho, Luiz Adriano, Lewandowksi, William, Rat, Chygrynskiy, Srna.
Subs: Khudzhamov, Duljaj, Gai, Gladkiy, Ischenko, Chyzhov, Moreno.

Werder Bremen

Round of 32: AC Milan 3-3 (away goals)
Round of 16: Saint Etienne 3-2
Quarterfinals: Udinese 6-4
Semifinals: Hamburg 3-3 (away goals)

Today’s lineup:
Wiese, Boenisch, Naldo, Baumann, Fritz, Rosenberg, Ozil, Prodl, Frings, Pizarro, Niemeyer.
Subs: Vander, Pasanen, Tosic, Vranjes, Hunt, Tziolis, Harnik.

No away goals to save the Germans tonight. Let’s hope for lots of action and just a few goals, shall we?



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82 Comments


  1. EbullientFatalist

    Ukraine! Germany! Be there!


  2. Teeknuts

    I get the feeling this won’t be the most active open thread.


  3. EbullientFatalist

    Bueller?!


  4. EbullientFatalist

    You and me, Teeknuts, you and me!


  5. Teeknuts

    I’m gonna say no Diego=no cup for Bremen.


  6. ü75

    And me! For the first half at least.


  7. EbullientFatalist

    I’m watching this on Al-Jazeera. Considering the names of the players, and the language of the commentator, there is no way in hell I’m gonna know what’s going on.


  8. ü75

    Frings, doing what he does best. Being an a**hole on the pitch.


  9. EbullientFatalist

    Oh wait! It’s now in English!! Mesopotamian Goals, FTW!


  10. Teeknuts

    Think of it this way, you’re not listening to Tommy Smyth.


  11. ü75

    Come on Shakhtar. Make your Brazilians finish.


  12. Teeknuts

    That was some nice stuff up until the bad finish.


  13. EbullientFatalist

    Nope, Teek, there’s some Scottish bloke now. Arabic was more understandable.

    Shakhtar dominating early play, but Luiz Adriano misses a golden opportunity. He makes Denilson look Brazilian.


  14. EbullientFatalist

    Shakhtar are playing a 4-2-3-1. I like this.

    2 million Turkish lira spent on renovating the stadium. That’s what? 7 million dollars?


  15. EbullientFatalist

    “That’s possibly the worst corner kick in history.”

    This guy is growing on me.


  16. Teeknuts

    What the f**k was that corner?


  17. EbullientFatalist

    This commentator is phenomenal! He described the teams kits as comical, as not befitting the beauty of the pitch! Moar!


  18. EbullientFatalist

    SD looks like they have 2 goals in them, but Werder are playing the defensive game well and look to strike on the counter.


  19. Teeknuts

    The Shaktar keeper reminds me of someone, but I can’t put my finger on it


  20. EbullientFatalist

    Good tackle by Lewandowski in the box. Good decision by the ref to not award the PK.


  21. EbullientFatalist

    @Teek: the ref is playing the advantage very well today, yeah? He’s letting the game flow . . . this can only be a good thing.


  22. Teeknuts

    Yeah, it’s been a decent match by all parties so far.


  23. ü75

    So you’re not hearing Bretos then?


  24. Teeknuts

    Well, on the pitch at least. The commentary is not at that level.


  25. ü75

    GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL

    Luiz AdriAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAno.


  26. EbullientFatalist

    @Umlaut: no, this commentator likes the way the ref is letting the players play, and I can’t help but agree. From everything I’ve seen, advantages have been allowed and that’s good for us the fan. However, both teams don’t look too keen on hard tackles.

    LUIZ ADRIANO!!


  27. EbullientFatalist

    Shitty defending by Werder, but the throughball was perfectly, delicately played.


  28. Teeknuts

    Great finish there, Bremen probably could have done better there.


  29. ü75

    Adriano still needs shooting practice after that.


  30. Teeknuts

    I wonder if I could have said there a couple more times there.


  31. ü75

    Is that Eminem on the Shakhtar bench?


  32. ü75

    There there, teeknuts. There there.


  33. EbullientFatalist

    Adriano had Srna making one of his patented runs forward and couldn’t pick him out. But for the lack of vision, Werder would be down two.


  34. ü75

    I’m sensing a red out of Frings today.


  35. Precious Roy

    I hope so ü. Enough karmically aweful things cannot happen to that guy, and yes, I’m still bitter about the handball on the line in the 2002 World Cup.


  36. Precious Roy

    And by ‘aweful’ I mean awful.


  37. ü75

    Me too. It’s probably just wishful thinking.


  38. EbullientFatalist

    Jesus that injury looks f**king terrible.


  39. EbullientFatalist

    Maybe broken ribs . . .


  40. Teeknuts

    That definitely looked like it could be nasty


  41. EbullientFatalist

    How do you sell Ukraine to Brazilian players? There must be offerings of women, wine, and song.


  42. ü75

    Crap save attempt. Great game though.


  43. EbullientFatalist

    NALDO!! Mistake by the keeper.


  44. Precious Roy

    Keeper Fail!


  45. EbullientFatalist

    “And it’s all Brazilian here in Istanbul.”

    Note: must visit Istanbul soon.


  46. Precious Roy

    EbullientFatalist: According to a friend of mine who worked in the Ukraine, that is exactly how you sell anyone on it.


  47. Teeknuts

    Oooh man, that was rough. Poor guy.


  48. ü75

    I dare say that was NYK worthy, no matter what he says.


  49. Teeknuts

    Rat is running Round and Round tonight.


  50. Teeknuts

    SHIRTLESS FAT GERMAN ALERT


  51. ü75

    Keeper FAIL again. Lucky bastard that Pizarro can’t hit the target.


  52. Precious Roy

    Yeah, I bet he really lays it down tonight.


  53. EbullientFatalist

    PR: It must be. I just can’t imagine Luiz Adriano stepping off a plane into a bleak Kiev winter, looking around, slowly nodding his head, and saying, “Yes. This is home.”


  54. ü75

    Good gosh, that was a hit by Lewandowski (sp).


  55. EbullientFatalist

    I suppose you could say the same thing about Newcastle, in all fairness.


  56. Teeknuts

    What a shot by the guy who’s name I don’t want to even try to spell.


  57. The NY Kid

    eh? what did I do now?


  58. ü75

    Nothing. Go find the Werder goal on 101GG. I can only imagine how you would react to that.


  59. ü75

    Halfway there, Torsten.


  60. EbullientFatalist

    Hahaha. This guy commenting for Al-Jazeera seems to think the Shakhtar keeper is somehow in the bag for Werder.


  61. ü75

    That is somewhat believable, EF.


  62. ü75

    Great half. Can’t wait seven or so hours to watch the second. Cheers, fellas.


  63. EbullientFatalist

    He literally called for an “inquest” if the keeper makes another stupid decision.


  64. JT

    see? this is what happens when teams that actually give a s**t and make some effort (are you watching, Popes O’Rangers circa 2007/08 final?)…


  65. The NY Kid

    ha! just saw the Naldo goal.

    That’s…not so good.


  66. EbullientFatalist

    @JT: Yeah, I hope Walter Smith is watching this and taking notes about how to play “football.”


  67. Teeknuts

    A great open-field block by Rat.


  68. EbullientFatalist

    F**k, my stream is dead.


  69. Teeknuts

    And that’s how you save a free kick


  70. JT

    Also, if Platini is so f**king up-in-arms about the proliferation of damn foreigners in the EPL, should he have similar gripes and grumbles about the fact that Shakhtar’s four or five best players are Brazilian?


  71. Teeknuts

    Srna, that was a very dumb booking


  72. EbullientFatalist

    Welp, fellas, it’s been real, but with my stream down and not finding a new one, I’m off to start my day. Be well. And I hope the action is as good as the first half.


  73. Teeknuts

    Werder’s starting to turn it up a little now.


  74. Teeknuts

    Shakhtar are looking really tired.


  75. Teeknuts

    Extra time!


  76. Precious Roy

    Shitty keeping Yahtzee!


  77. Teeknuts

    Jadson scores for Shakhtar after nice play from Srna


  78. Teeknuts

    Shakhtar keeper almost f**ked it all up again.


  79. Teeknuts

    Apparently, there is one gai in Turkey


  80. Precious Roy

    Zing!


  81. Teeknuts

    That was a golden chance to ice it, but the Donetsk player hit it just a bit too hard.


  82. Precious Roy

    Hot celebrating Ukranian girl >> Frumpy crying German girl



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