Unprofessional Foul
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May 21, 2009

In Scudamore, we don’t trust

His nose looks remarkably clean for a man who has his head firmly up his arse

There is still a lot of whinging and moaning about this weekend’s EPL slate, and almost all of it revolves around Robbie Keane’s vow for revenge at Anfield what kind of team Sir Alex Ferguson will choose to play Hull.

Will he play kids? Will he play the three-headed monster of Ronalrooneyvez? Does anyone outside of Hull and Newcastle even care? (We’ll leave out the text promise made by Darren Fletcher to Ricky Sbragia, then)

Thankfully, EPL Chief Richard “Dick” Scudamore has weighed in, having taken five minutes between business luncheons and napping under his mahogany desk to contradict himself.

On one hand, Dicky Scu thinks it’s peachy-cool for United to do whatever they wish and play any number of Serbian teenagers in a crucial relegation battle. They’ve apparently earned their right to do so.

I find this to be a little alarming; the head of the league is condoning such a wilfully destructive approach to a game with massive Colaship implications, and doing so in the carefree, breezy manner that you’d expect from a guy with tons of money and absolutely no perspective whatsoever.

Excuse me, Mr. Shearer? You just got the thumbs down from Emperor Scudamore in the Coliseum of Relegation. Or something equally far-fetched, metaphor-wise.

And then, in a drooling BBC radio interview, he says he fully expects United to field a strong competitive team, thus ensuring a fair and balanced final weekend and no such repeats of the Carlos Tevez/Sheffield United mess that plagued the league a couple of years ago (lest we forget that Fergie ran out his 2nd XI in that crucial game, the one where Carlos scored, the Hammers went apes**t, and Phil Warnock paid his lawyers for a million billable hours in advance).

Of course, ‘Arry, a man who’s been rather quiet down the stretch (being a mid-table side will do that to you), rolled off his hemorrhoid donut and wolfed down his meat-and-cheese pie in double-quick time so he could pen a column for the Sun saying that everyone should just stop crying and that Newcastle can have no complaints or gripes one way or the other.

Fergie did say he’d play a strong team, so that’s something I suppose. But this isn’t about United… it’s about Scudamore, and that he’s a total and complete f**king moron. I realize that the ka-ching of the EPL cash register is loud and all, but take a minute sometimes before you speak. There are three clubs threatened with a grim fate, and your soundbites paint you as an aloof, careless idiot.



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10 Comments


  1. Spectator

    To paraphrase another Dick, “When Man U does it, it’s not illegal.”


  2. Ibracadabra

    He may be a Dick and all – but the season is 38 games, and I don’t feel sorry one bit for teams that have put themselves in this position after 37 games.

    That said, United’s second 11 will still feature more internationals than Hull’s first 11 – I expect JS Park, Fletcher, Neville, and Rafael to all start. The frontline, of course, will be weakened – but Macheda has proven he can score on this level.

    The younger players will be hungry to win and prove they are worthy of the United shirt and inclusion in the squad next year – they have the motivation. Add to that motivation the extra pressure from the media to prove they are not a crap 2nd team – and they may well just over-run Hull entirely.

    This is a non-issue for me. Scudamore may be a Dick, and I’m not even a United fan, but really, I expect United’s second team to compete, just as they did in the Carling Cup.


  3. JT

    JT: it’s a non-issue for me too, although I still don’t like the head of the EPL saying that it’s United’s right to do what they please. I thought the notion of throwing out young’uns in competitions was something saved for the Carling Cup or the now-deceased UEFA Cup…


  4. Precious Roy

    “He may be a Dick and all – but the season is 38 games…”

    Isn’t that kind of the problem? If one team is only playing 37 with a walkover and another is playing 38, then it’s not exactly fair.

    I think Hull with have plenty of problems with United’s second team. But I feel for Shearer a bit. For the teams at the bottom, the 38th game is just as important as, say, the 12th.

    I also think Newcastle got hosed with the disallowed goal last week.


  5. doesyourmotherknow

    ‘Sblood! Who’s Phil Warnock? Isn’t it Neil?

    although to be fair, it’s not like anyone cares. except maybe Phil/Neil.

    side note: ricky scud has the face of an elf. a malevolent one.


  6. ü75

    JT, did you just reply to yourself? That’s a new “talks in third person” deal to me.


  7. Ibracadabra

    Roy – you first say: “if one team is only playing 37 with a walkover” and then you say..

    “I think hull will have plenty of problems”

    which is it?

    I know the 38th is worth the same as the 12th, my point – if I didn’t make it clear – is that if you are in this position after 37, I don’t really feel sorry for you – regardless of whether or not another team decides to rest players in the final week.

    lastly – i watched the newcastle match and thought the viduka goal should have counted. and also that bassong should not have been red carded. so yes, i think that’s a shame for them.


  8. Precious Roy

    Ibra: Both…

    I didn’t say that Hull was going to have a walkover. In fact, as you pointed out, I said the exact opposite.

    I’m talking more in the abstract. I’m not saying there is a 37 v. 38 situation this season. But I’m sure there has been and sure there will be again.


  9. Ibracadabra

    Roy:

    Fair enough. I agree that the situation is of 37/38 is one that will be here again.

    If only Arsenal could have scored last weekend… or if Liverpool could have beat Hull at home instead of just earning a late draw, or if Wigan could have kept United at bay in the second 45 as they did in the first 45 just a week ago… then we wouldn’t be in this situation… oh well.

    For whatever it’s worth, I think Newcastle will get a point at Villa and stay up on goal difference. I think United will beat Hull.


  10. Precious Roy

    I think United will beat Hull, but I don’t know about Newcastle. That’s why that disallowed goal last week is such a huge deal.

    If that counts, they are probably up as long as they don’t lose by 6 at Villa.



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