Unprofessional Foul


June 17, 2009

Last Call: Who Will You Bring Home?

Melissa Satta – WAG of Christian Vieri

Welcome to tonight’s Last Call. Where you can get a pint and maybe find yourself a bed as nice as the one above… but be careful with the beer goggles, you don’t want to wake up next to this.

Tonight, your host is Unprofessional Foul. Thank you for stopping by our little corner of the blogosphere. We understand that the Last Call folks are a new movement and this is their form of the green wristband protest. We wish you luck in your endeavor.

For those of you not familiar with us, a little background on what we do and who we is are.

UF was the mindspring of Lingering Bursitis way back in late 2007, who wanted to create a blog devoted to entirely to the soccer world and whatever happens to enter into the soccer world. Many of the UF contributors are or were Deadspin commenters, and Deadspin was the social mixer where many of us came together. We also have stretched out our social circle to people beyond the Deadspin milieu. Plus, we even accept social outcasts like Chelsea fans, and fans of the lowly Norwich City and Exeter clubs… we tolerate Manchester United fans at this point but don’t push us too much.

While we focus on soccer/football/futbol/footy (we use the terms interchangeably), we do not believe you have to be a hardcore footy fan to appreciate our “work” because, well, our work still includes hot chicks, stupid things athletes do, and crazy stuff related to football, including fashion.

Some of our favorite posts have dealt with wannabe WAGs (Wives and Girlfriends), female footballers becoming porn stars, and even the introduction of brand new WAGs. But, we also do great liveblogs (we are currently liveblogging the s**t out of the Confederations Cup), explain football, rant, and even break some news here and there. We can promise you stuff you will not read about in the “mainstream” sports blogs and, frankly, lots of top notch writing and analysis.

Thanks for visiting and enjoy your stay.

[TFA Note: Apparently there is this blog, The Phoenix Pub, I was not aware of. I have checked it out and it appears to be the Last Call secret headquarters or something. I was supposed to namecheck it. Now I have…check out The Phoenix Pub for all your DUAN-ey updates.]

Bottoms up!!

About the Author

Unprofessional Foul



  1. Sculptor?!?

    @Anon: come out from behind that mask, and maybe you'll get answers.

  2. Teeknuts


  3. Evan

    So this is..Choco Taco. Glad to have found the real DUAN.

    Anyone like the new Dirty Projectors Album? It's slowly getting to the top albums of 2009 list for me.

  4. fattyB

    Hey just stopping by to say hey.
    Is this the new duan?

  5. mikedrawcar

    Oh, and the article they're using the Simpsons pic for? About the Federal Transportation Bill not passing anytime soon.

  6. Green Eggs & Fulham

    Any other place to catch the Seattle/DC game, or are we completely at the mercy of the College Pingball World Series?

  7. Teeknuts

    Please don't f**k this one up Virginia

  8. Sculptor?!?

    @Evan, @fattyB: Yes, Last Call is the ex-pat DUAN. It rotates, the schedule can be found on Phoenix's sidebar (TFA linked to us at the bottom of this post – I don't want to abuse the host by pimping). Tomorrow it's at Style Points.

  9. CW

    Thanks for the tip about the Simpsons image. I downloaded it and will use it at every turn.

    Also, this is just a quick hi and good night to all my Last Callers.

  10. Green Eggs and Fulham

    @Sculptor: You watchin' your Indians chop up s**t in the bottom of the 9th? Wouldn't mind a comeback like that for the Royals tonight…ugh.

  11. Sculptor?!?


    F**king ESPN. It's not like you don't have 18 other f**king channels you could move the goddamn footy match to. How about dumping that re-run of the 1896 WS, douchebags?


  12. Teeknuts

    Seriously Virginia? F**k you. This is just like that one f**king lacrosse game that went 7 ot's.

  13. fattyB

    Thanks Sculptor.

  14. ü75

    Will someone please let me know when the damn CWS is over? I'd appreciate it.

    Hi. I participated in a handful of DUANs. I don't recognize you either.

  15. jjf3

    Dear Virginia,
    there IS a Santa Claus, but he HATES you, and thinks that your best friend is much prettier…

    Now get off my f**king TV screen.

  16. Sculptor?!?

    @jjf3: that gets a +1

  17. Green Eggs and Fulham

    Nicely done on the through ball to Pontius…but really, an update every 10 minutes? You butt into the MLS GotW more often than that to tell me that Brett Favre is contemplating becoming a media whore.

    Eat a bag of rotten dicks, tWWL.

  18. ü75

    +1s, in my UF? About damn time.

  19. jjf3

    Wish I'd nailed it with the "Yes" part included before Virginia…but I have a bad habit of alcohol-induced premature "commenting"

    Also why I never made an attempt at DS commenter, despite lurking for years…

  20. Sculptor?!?

    Virginia, just hit a f**king home run and end this s**t. Or I'm going to shove those tin bats up your collective asses.

  21. Sculptor?!?

    @umlaut: was I not supposed to?

  22. Teeknuts

    God damn it, they have to do it in the slowest f**king way possible too.

  23. ü75

    @Sculptor-No, you're good. Kind of mocking myself for giving a +1 in a UF email thread last week.

  24. Teeknuts


  25. Green Eggs and Fulham


    I might as well go to bed and catch the highlights on Soccernet tomorrow morning at this rate.

  26. jjf3

    and a big thanks to you, Sculptor??!

    my first +1s from a DS'er….

  27. ü75

    What kills me is that VA had this wrapped up in the ninth. What the hell happened?

  28. Sculptor?!?

    @jjf3: nope, not a DS'er, not anymore. Last Caller, perhaps. But you're welcome at any rate; you earned it.

  29. jjf3

    I was never a commenter (just a lurker, but I did pay 289 for a stupid red t-shirt), but I left the same time you did.

    So, while you're no longer a DS'er technically, to me you are…(I'm not REALLY part of the roving DUAN crowd, though I show up when ATD and UF are involved…)

  30. Green Eggs and Fulham

    (I'm not REALLY part of the roving DUAN crowd, though I show up when ATD and UF are involved…)

    One of us! One of us!

    Well, at least when it comes to ATD, although I'll peek in on the regular rotation now and again…

  31. Sculptor?!?

    well, jjf3, then you should be checking out Phoenix; the ATD boys are part of the crew. Obvs. TPP doesn't focus completely on footy, but they're around. and the roving is now a set schedule, so that's nice too.

  32. Green Eggs and Fulham

    Good news: If you're a Comcast HSI customer, ESPN360.com comes with the service.

    Bad news: It's not until August 1, so I can't watch the MLS game.

    And it's COMCAST. So while ESPN claims it will be free, it will magically raise my "service fees" by 20%. Yaaay.

  33. Sculptor?!?

    Heh, yeah, those ATD boys have a way of getting to ya. They're handling my conversion back to footy very nicely.

    Oh, F**K you VA for getting that double.

  34. ü75

    I see Arkansas went ahead. I assume DC-Seattle is int he 2nd half now?

  35. Green Eggs and Fulham

    @ü75: I think it's still halftime. At least according to the dodgy GameCast on ESPNSoccernet.

  36. jjf3

    Wish I'd gotten that damn joke right…

    that said, I've been checking out the Phoenix/Last Call from day one. Just wish I'd get the damn joke right the first time…especially after watching you artists make me look stupid…

  37. ü75

    Thank goodness for internet streams. 2-1 Seattle in the 50th.

  38. ü75

    Way to blow it Arkansas C and 1B. VA are so scoring here.

  39. Teeknuts

    Come on Kutchel, take us home…

  40. Sculptor?!?

    To anyone who cares: thefuseproject is my HERO.
    that is all.

  41. ü75

    Goal Seattle. 3-1. Shite defending. Worse dropping off than on Rossi on Monday.

  42. Teeknuts

    Thank you jesus…now its time to enjoy the LAST HALF AN HOUR of the MLS game.

  43. ü75

    Way to blow 3 open guys in the box, DC.

    Wait. That sounds perverted.

  44. Sculptor?!?

    oh, look who just decided to show some footy?
    about F**KING time, assclowns.

  45. Teeknuts

    @umlaut That doesn't seem physically possible…

  46. Teeknuts

    At least it the last half hour of a pretty entertaining game it seems.

  47. ü75

    From what I've seen, United will have opportunities to draw even in this match. Just hope the finishing is there.

  48. Green Eggs and Fulham

    Where the hell was the man in front of Gomez?!

    3-2 Sounders, nice show of offense, but damn.

  49. ü75

    On cue, 3-2.

  50. ü75

    Some pretty nice goals in this match, which is swell.

  51. Teeknuts

    Is it wrong that whenever I hear Pontius' name I think of partyboy? I know it isn't that funny, but it makes me laugh every damn time.

  52. ü75

    I do the same, Teek.

    Glad I can watch this game in its entirety at 1 AM, ESPN.

  53. Sculptor?!?

    heh, sooo quiet, we're all contentedly watching footy.

  54. ü75

    Or, people did not figure how to go to the second page.

  55. Green Eggs and Fulham

    I really should be in bed (got work at 6am)…

    …but another 15 minutes watching this game can't hurt.

    /will hurt tomorrow for certain

  56. Sculptor?!?

    @GEF: yeah, that's what the caffeine IV drip is for…

  57. Teeknuts

    Come on Mr. Mohawk, do you really need to wear your jersey backwards to tell people who you are? Do you even need a jersey with Mr. Mohawk on the back?

  58. ü75

    I still despise the way Seattle's shirts fade into the fieldturf on TV.

  59. Teeknuts

    Wait a minute, was the band just playing that dumb flow rida song?

  60. ü75

    Nothing is impossible/Impossible is nothing.

    Don't worry, announcer dude, Kevin Garnett fuxxored it up too.


  61. ü75

    I'm so smart about the soccer game.

  62. Teeknuts

    Ouch, it was that defender playing the role of Jamie Carragher tonight apparently.

  63. Sculptor?!?

    @Umlaut: huh, i thought it was just me having an artist's fit about the Sounders' kit.

  64. Teeknuts

    How was that advantage played mr. announcer?

  65. Green Eggs and Fulham

    How much extra time? Missed the flash…

  66. Teeknuts

    3 minutes I think

  67. ü75

    Ballgame. G'Night, peoples.

  68. Sculptor?!?

    well, a draw.

  69. Green Eggs and Fulham

    Great ball there, not a great run. Methinks this game is over…and there it is.

    Happy Thursday, everyone, see you on the flipside.

  70. Teeknuts

    Nighty night!

  71. Sculptor?!?

    k, i'm toast. it's been fun UF, thanks for hosting!

    later, taters!

  72. First Derivative

    I might have a good picture for y'all tomorrow of my giant swollen hand.

  73. Bigus Dickus


    What dates are the Blackburn and Gooner games?


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