Azerbaijani Premier League Preview: FK Baku

FK Baku, not to be confused with their redheaded step-child Olimpik Baku

As players around the globe are put through the paces in hopes of shaking off the rust ahead of their respective seasons, we here at UF fancy some pre-season training of our own… for the brain! In order to prepare properly for the next ten glorious months of hot club-on-club action, we’re previewing various leagues from around the globe.

First up, the Premier League. No, not THAT one. No, not that one either. Or that one. Nope, try again. Alright, I’ll just tell you — introducing the 14-team Azerbaijani Premier League (known as the Top League until 2007) !

Let’s get our learn on.

The big news is that we won’t get to get our Baku on, as their international season has stopped before we even started.

We report that with sadness, that FC Baku was bounced from Champions League Play by Crazed Bulgarians. FC Baku, we hardly knew you!

FK Baku is also spelled FK Baki, mostly to confuse us. Hailing from the capital of Azerbajian (Baku of course), they were the winners of the league last year, which got them into the play in match with Bulgarian squad Levski. What is interesting is that the winner of such a small CL play in match pockets 2 million euros. That’s a lot of goat meat.

They are a feeder team to the Belgian club R.S.C. Anderlecht, which explains why no one hears of Azerbainjan players. They end up in Belgium, gorge themselves on beer and chocolate, and are never heard from again.

FC Baku play in Zabrat Stadium, the largest stadium in Azerbajian. This is about the size of Norwich, but with less sobbing Canaries. Rumors that Coldplay and Nickelback playing a concert there are sadly just that, rumors. The United Nations and NATO stepped in before any deals were finalized pointing to the new memos on torture of foreigners.

I was hoping they had some players that had moved up and out. But alas, they have not. FC Baku are ringers to win the league again this year.