Unprofessional Foul


September 3, 2009

Jan Vennegoor of Hullselink

Real blood there, not the fake stuff those egg chasers use to cheat!

Real blood there, not the fake stuff those egg chasers used to cheat! *

Hull have signed another striker…I KNOW. And this time it’s the man with the longest name in football? (find me a longer one). Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink was a free agent after being released by Celtic and the Dutchman waited 3 weeks into the season to decide who to join. If you ask me he just fancied a longer holiday!

Vennegoor of Hesselink will be joining Craig of fagan, Jozy of Altidore, Kamel of Ghilas, Richard of Garcia, Caleb of Folan and Daniel of Cousins vying for a spot in Phil Brown’s starting 11.

Vennegoor of Hesselink has a pretty good strike record, scoring 76 goals in 157 appearances for PSV Eindhoven before joining Celtic and slapping in 34 in 78. Of course the Premier League will be a different proposition for the Dutch international, who has appeared for his country 17 times.

Seven forwards seems a little excessive but maybe not, before Vennegoor of Hesselink joined Hull they found the net four times in their first four Premier League matches this year, winning just one of those games.

*Blood and Rugby to explain the caption.

About the Author

Norfolk Ned
I like football. What else is there to say?


  1. Defoe's a Yiddo

    Hull v Man Citeh should be played with all strikers

  2. i think cousins was loaned out.

  3. looks like i was wrong…the loan fell through last minute.

  4. Georger

    I wanted him at pool as a backup. Love his name.

  5. Lingering Bursitis

    It’s COUSIN singular. Though the way he plays makes you pine for a 2nd version of him to be on the pitch at the same time to make up for his uselessness.

  6. Norfolk Ned

    @TFA: FAIL!

  7. Norfolk Ned

    @LB: I just laughed soup onto my keyboard.

  8. Lingering Bursitis

    @TFA: Check the latest post up top! A great story.

    @Ned: glad I could be of service :)

  9. Lingering Bursitis

    And if he did have a cousin, he’d be called Ali Dia

  10. hadley

    Well, here’s hoping Jozy can be his strike partner.

  11. Sarah

    I think Kaka’s full name is longer.

  12. Norfolk Ned

    @Sarah. You are right, but he goes by Kaka! Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite osn’t cool enough to be on his shirt. The Dutchman has his full name on his.

  13. ü75

    I trust you all know this already, but here goes. Vennegoor of Hesselink’s name goes back to the marriage between two very important families in the 1700s (I think). “Of” is Dutch for “or”. The only correct way to use it is to use all three words.

    So it’s not like, say, William of Orange or anything.

  14. jjf3

    umlaut, OF COURSE us illiterates all KNEW that before you posted…

    (expecting to make a few bucks of this in the coming months at the bar…)

  15. Sarah

    I wish Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite was on his shirt. That’s like the best name ever. I mean, I’m a little drunk, but sober me thinks so too.

    Umlaut, that little tidbit will definitely be shared at the next party/social gathering I go to.

  16. ü75

    Huh. Thought that was relatively well-known. Citation here
    Wiki says it is the equivalent of a hyphenated surname in English.

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