Review: World Cup Qualifying

It’d be silly not to look at some of the WC Qualifier results, wouldn’t it? Maybe a video or two? Alright, go on then. Who got their campaigns back on track, and who continued to underwhelm and flirt with disaster (FRANCE! THE ANSWER’S FRANCE!)?

I’ll skip the boring groups and stick to the ones with intrigue…

Europe, Group 1
Portugal are somewhat back in control of their own destiny, having finally managed a win away from home. They beat Hungary on an early Pepe goal, but their celebrations were tempered somewhat by news that Sweden won to leapfrog C-Ron and co. and move into 2nd place. However, Sweden get a trip to table-toppers Denmark, while Portugal get to host Malta and Hungary. Think C-Ron’s participation in South Africa next summer is assured.

Results: Malta 0, Sweden 1; Albania 1, Denmark 1; Hungary 0, Portugal 1.

Table: Denmark 18pts, Sweden 15, Portugal 13, Hungary 13, Albania 7, Malta 1.

Europe, Group 2
Check out the Israelites! Seven goals against Luxembourg, and not one available for Yossi the Bossi. Greece and Switzerland both drew, keeping control of the group for now. This one comes down to the Greece/Latvia game on October 10 to determine final placing.

Results: Israel 7, Luxembourg 0; Latvia 2, Switzerland 2; Moldova 1, Greece 1.

Table: Switzerland 17pts, Greece 14, Latvia 14, Israel 12, Luxembourg 5, Moldova 1.

Europe, Group 3
Not much spice here, despite what the table indicates. Slovenia, currently in 2nd, will get 3 points from San Marino and cement their play-off spot while Northern Ireland and Czech Republic kick lumps out of one another in a bid to upset the Slov dominance. Between the Slovaks and the Slovenes, that’s a whole lot of grim, efficient/ruthless soccer with no personality.

Results: Czech Republic 7, San Marino 0; Northern Ireland 0, Slovakia 2; Slovenia 3, Poland 0.

Table: Slovakia 19pts, Slovenia 14, Northern Ireland 14, Czech Republic 12, Poland 11, San Marino 0.

Europe, Group 7
So the French like to make things interesting, although on the back of a hard-fought 1-1 draw in Serbia, you’d bet that they have the play-off spot sewn up thanks to a 5-point lead over Austria with just two games left. Though, those two get to play each other in one of those “six-pointer” games, but then the Wiens host Lithuania while the Frogs take a trip to the Faroe Islands. I’d say they’ll win, but the Faroes are on a 1-game winning streak (for the first time in 8 years) having dispatched Lithuania 2-1 at home.

The French game was a lesson in farce; Hugo Lloris was sent off after just 10 minutes thanks to a particularly egregious Serb dive that yielded a PK and the card (Wolves’ new man Nenad Milijas converted), but the Garlic-Munchers are made of stronger stuff, fighting back via Thierry Henry, who reacted fastest to a rebound following an Anelka shot. Seriously folks, the goalie never touched him!

The French aren’t really understanding the team concept at present, but it shouldn’t take much to fix that; simply fire the star-gazing moron Domenech and get someone in who can manage the personalities without the use of a crystal ball.

Results: Faroe Islands 2, Lithuania 1; Romania 1, Austria 1; Serbia 1, France 1

Table: Serbia 19pts, France 15, Austria 11, Lithuania 9, Romania 9, Faroe Islands 4.

Europe, Group 9

So sorry, Scotland. After a brave, chance-packed performance at home to the Oranje, you lose to an 82nd minute goal courtesy of a defensive error. The 1-0 defeat dooms the Tartan Army to watching WC 2010 from home thanks to their woeful goal difference. If there’s any consolation (which there likely isn’t in this situation), Norway might not even get a play-off game due to their humble accumulation of just 10 points.

Results: Norway 2, Macedonia 1; Scotland 0, Holland 1

Table: Holland 24pts, Norway 10, Scotland 10, Macedonia 7, Iceland 5.

South America

Here’s where things get fun. Just about every result went against the Argies, meaning they have a much harder time of qualifying than anyone ever thought possible. Still, that’s what happens when you put a pint-sized drug addict cheater/handball merchant in charge. So much for national icons… does Maradona’s reputation survive this woeful string of mismanagement of some of the world’s greatest attackers? A team with Messi, Aguero, Tevez, Gago and Mascherano might not qualify for a World Cup. Think on that for a moment.

Not only did they lose 1-0 in Paraguay (and never really looked like troubling the scoresheet) with a simply brilliant team goal (video below), but Ecuador won away in Bolivia (something El Diego said was impossible due to altitude… d’oh) to leapfrog Argentina into the final automatic qualifying spot, and Uruguay beat Colombia to close the gap to just one point in the hunt for that play-off spot. To make things worse, Venezuela wrecked Peru to pull level on points with Uruguay and make things oh-so-interesting with two games to play (and Uruguay host the Argies in the final week of fixtures, go figure).

I mean, Argentina would destroy whoever is unfortunate enough to finish 4th in CONCACAF, but that’s not the point. This is all about Maradona being a terrible manager… if the Argies are to have any hope next summer (presuming they even qualify, of course), they need a new man in charge well before then. Shit, maybe this latest defeat has already started the hunt for a replacement.

Results: Bolivia 1, Ecuador 3; Uruguay 3, Colombia 1; Paraguay 1, Argentina 0; Brazil 4, Chile 2; Venezuela 3, Peru 1.

Table: Brazil 33pts, Paraguay 30, Chile 27, Ecuador 23, Argentina 22, Uruguay 21, Venezuela 21, Colombia 20, Bolivia 12, Peru 10.

Asia

Almost all of the qualifying action here wrapped up months ago (just one thing to say there: North Korea’s traveling to South Africa!), but there was still one slab of unfinished business: the fifth-place playoff. A two-legged tie between Saudi Arabia and Bahrain to decide which of ‘em gets to play the winners in Oceania for a World Cup spot.

The Saudis had qualified successfully for the past 4 tournaments, so it makes perfect sense that they’d miss out eventually, and how. In what shook out to be a fantastic game, both sides traded goals in the first half, and then again in the final 5 minutes to see Bahrain advance on away goals. After a 0-0 first leg, the Saudis looked comfy scoring in the 91st minute, but a perfect glancing header from Abdullatif in the 94th gave the Bahrainis their victory, and fully deserved.

They’ll now face New Zealand in a play-off, with the winner of that getting a ticket to South Africa. Having watched the Kiwis get pantsed time and again in the Confederations Cup, I know which team I’d rather see clogging up a group in 2010.

CONCACAF

Well, what a night for the US. Having nicked a 1-0 win in a sleepy, sleepy contest against T&T, all other results conspire in their favor to send them rocketing to the top of the qualifying group. Mexico flat-out stole a win in a fantastic game against Honduras (highlights below) with a dubious late penalty, and El Salvador pipped Costa Rica 1-0 in stoppage time.

With two games to go in the group, the US look comfy, though not completely out of the woods yet. A home date with Costa Rica and an away trip to Honduras will make the USMNT work hard for their qualification, though even if they lost both, they’d end up in a playoff with the 5th placed South American team (take your pick from Argentina, Colombia, Uruguay).

Come to think of it, losing both would kinda screw ‘em, though what do I know?

Results: T&T 0 USA 1; Mexico 1, Honduras 0; El Salvador 1, Costa Rica 0.

Table: USA 16pts, Mexico 15, Honduras 13, Costa Rica 12, El Salvador 8, Trinidad & Tobago 5.

Africa

Cameroon beat Gabon 2-1 to go top of their group with two to play, and the other groups look like Ivory Coast, Algeria and Tunisia will be joining Ghana in the World Cup.