Blatter: part-time magician, full-time idiot
Not content to sit and admire Platini’s war against big clubs via UEFA, good ol’ Sepp has weighed in, and he wants blood.
Blatter is equally dismayed at this teen-poaching business, and wants even stricter punishments; instead of fines and transfer bans, he wants points deductions too.
Points deductions! Yes! Let’s knock these clubs down to mid-table, paving the way for the Boltons of the world to lift the silverware and appear in the Champions League.
Before you all get outraged, I will say this: I agree with UEFA somewhat that the practice of player-baiting and poaching should be stopped, and that some degree of fairness needs to be added to the transfer process regarding academy players.
However, I think this is getting a little far, especially when you consider that they’re punishing teams for greed and excess that happened years ago.
Quoth the FIFA president-idiot himself: “It is so right when you speak about taking points away. The other day there was a big fight in Switzerland because the two leading clubs last season, Basle and Zürich, were not behaving well. In the first instance both of the clubs were punished to have matches without spectators, and then I was asked what is my opinion. My opinion is that to have a match without spectators you punish football. You don’t punish the clubs.
“I have said I would take one point away from each one and then it would be finished and there would be no more problems. The best thing is to take points away. Take racism, if there is a fine of £100,000 or £200,000, you will always find someone that pays the fine. But if you take away points then this will be an example. The national associations must have the courage to do so and then you will stop that. You have to touch them were it hurts. Take away points and you will see it is finished.”
Sure, you’ll see it finished from now on. But the idea that you honestly wish to go back, find an illegal transfer from, say, Manchester United in 2004, and then prosecute them with a 10-point deduction in 2009/10 is, while hilarious and fun to imagine, also kinda screwy. And we appreciate the use of a cute anecdote involving the Swiss Super League. I’m sure there’s plenty more storytelling where that came from.
Blatter’s also hinting that they’re investigating several cases currently and expect many, many more, so I guess it’s just a matter of time until Chelsea are dumped to the relegation zone with -90 points and a fine rivaling the GDP of Burundi.
I’d say that Blatter is PR savvy and knows when to take the chance for an obvious soundbite, but he’s not. He’s a dumb idiot who has lost the plot. I suggest that he refocuses this moral outrage on the corruption and calamity in South Africa ahead of his sport’s most prestigious, excellent event.
Meanwhile, you wonder how much more of this stuff the big 10/14/16/18 will take before they withdraw from all competitions to form their own little traveling circus act. I’d say a few more passive-aggressive shots will be fired before mutiny strikes.
He’s a dumb idiot who has lost the plot.
This is what keeps me coming back to UF: the nuanced writing, and deft analysis.
EF: why use 400 words when 9 will do?
LB: I prefer the nine words – especially the nine words you used. Although, to be fair, Blatter is best describe in less than nine words.
useless t**t?
I thought a t**t had a use. Blatter is simply useless.
A little game of “Descripe Sepp” with the same rules as name that tune, EF?
I can describe Sepp in 4 words.
I can do 3
Well, go ahead LB.
I had “Bloated egotistical thieving f**ktard.”
That’s much better than mine:
“Pudgy, self-serving moron”
oooooh, I’m sorry, LB. The judges have decided that “self-serving” is actually 2 words, for a total of 4 words.
Far more polite than mine, LB. I think that Sepp and Jack Warner just bring out the best in me.
“Bent bureaucratic prat”
@WSR: I wanted so badly to use “f**ktard.”
I actually think that out of Blatter, Platini, and Warner, that good ol’ Jack is the worst of the bunch. I seriously want to hit that man in the junk with a screamer from 3 yards away.
I can do it in a portmanteau
Oh, and in the G14 league, who’s taking bets on Celtic being told to f**k off by everyone, only to then be banned from club competition by FIFA?
If I was Celtic, would I want to be in the G14?
Pros: money, exposure, top-level competition. Might even be able to attract some better players drawn to the allure of playing the world’s best every week
Cons: you’re Celtic. You’ll finish bottom every season without fail.
@NYK: At least Platini’s heart is in the right place. Blatter only has a heart for FIFA’s coffers. Warner has no heart, but if he did it would be black.
I agree with almost all of that, EF. One change: Warner’s heart isn’t all black. It’s exterior has been covered in stolen gold.
@WSR: I can’t wait for October 2010, when a new Warner ticket scandal will be revealed.
Back to Blatter et al for a second: I can never tell when or if Blatter is sincere. He is conniving and constantly assessing political angles. That is not to say Platini doesn’t have political/backroom motives, but his proposals actually aim to make the game – both its play and its organization – better. Blatter with his “freekicks replacing throw-ins” mentality only wishes to make football more profitable.
And yes, this is a preaching-to-the-choir moment.
Seriously enjoying the Blatter descriptions — however, I actually agree with him. Points deductions are the way to punish teams. That’s the way to get the attention of these teams. To use a tortured analogy, in golf, the PGA Tour fines for slow play. Everyone plays slow. If they gave stroke penalties, I GUARANTEE players would speed up.
Anyhow, it doesn’t matter. In 5 years, there will be a Euro Super League not under UEFA’s control. Platini and Blatter will just hasten the divorce.
If the euro super league ever becomes more than just a hypothetical, could UEFA/FIFA try and fight back by threatening to disallow super league players from playing in National Team competitions. Just curious…
Corky: I think Blatter has a point too, but he’s going about it the wrong way. Don’t want to keep kicking your biggest money-making clubs while they’re down.
And yes, Platini/Blatter will force the breakaway to happen sooner rather than later.
@Kevin: possibly. There was some kind of precedent in cricket recently, but it flamed out. A breakaway “super” league happened in India, promising big money to all world-class players who took part. They did, and once the league got going there were some threats of international bans happening to stop players taking part. If they played in the super league, they’d not be able to play for country, etc.
However, the whole thing fizzled out. Players won.
Yeah, LB, but Celtic and Gers have been halfheartedly pushing to be part of the EPL over the last few years, where they’d likely finish in with the Stokes and Wigans, and not in the CL money.
I’m a little late, but I’ll say one word. Douchelord.
Ok, maybe it counts as two, it still fits.