Unprofessional Foul


September 15, 2009

Open Thread: CL Matchday 1, Part 1

Behold, behold, the Archer's Bow

Behold, behold, the Archer's Bow

After the absurdity of UEFA’s bureaucratic folly in letting Eduardo completely off the hook, thus making me wonder why on earth we went through this painful process in the first place, we get CL action.

Storylines and intrigue, be damned! This is time for talks that are talks to be converted into walks that are walked.

Plus, this handy photo guide to diving has been made public for all the world to see, so please get out your binoculars, diagrams and etch-a-sketches in search of the first brigand to emulate this hilarious pose. It kinda reminds me of a Klinsmann circa-1990, but I can’t be sure.

Wait, yes I can…

Eh, it’s kinda close, but I digress. The photos come from a Doctor in Portsmouth, presumably with precious little else to do, and they demonstrate the classic “archer’s bow” dive, something that is entirely unnatural because when people fall, they absolutely do not fall like that, unless of course their name rhymes with “Flidier Flogba” or “Fleeven Flerrard” or perhaps “Fleduardo Fla Flilva”. You can bet that no matter how outlandish or egregious, the likes of Howard Webb will still botch the call horribly. After all, it’s what they do.

Fixtures and sundry after the jump. Precious Roy’s bravely gone on record (via a bold email!) that Besiktas will win tonight against SAF’s traveling band of dullards, and I thought it’d be nice to out him here in his prediction. Anyone else agree? I thought this morning that United would sneak it, but I’m leaning towards a 1-1 draw. We all know United will sleepwalk to the knockout stages anyway, so what difference does it make?

CL Group A
Juventus v. Bordeaux
Maccabi Haifa v. Bayern Munich

CL Group B:
Besiktas v. Manchester United
Wolfsburg v. CSKA Moscow

CL Group C:
Marseille v. AC Milan
Zurich v. Real Madrid

CL Group D:
Chelsea v. Porto
Atletico Madrid v. APOEL Nicosia

COLASHIP (in a bold move to suck viewers from that boring European mess):
Coventry City v. Sheffield United
Derby County v. Barnsley
Ipswich Town v. Nottingham Forest
Leicester City v. Peterborough
Plymouth Argyle v. Watford
Sc**thorpe v. Preston North End
Sheffield Wednesday v. Middlesbrough
Swansea City v. Bristol City
West Bromwich Albion v. Doncaster Rovers
Queens Park Rangers v. Crystal Palace

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James T