Love Songs for Raymond Domenech
Dead sexy?
Even casual UF readers surely know how I feel about Les Bleus gaffer Raymond Domenech. Incompetent, clueless, idiotic – take your pick of negative adjective describing his inability to make intelligent decisions. However, there are inexplicably some people who find the man to be charming. One of those people is former porn actress Catherine Ringer, who has recorded a song in his honor. Now, setting aside the fact that one would have to be certifiable to consider Domenech to be a capable manager, the question remains: Why serenade such a man? A man who took an opportunity during a press conference after his squad had crapped out of Euro 2008 to propose to his girlfriend? A man derided by 75% of his countrymen? A man who once sported a mustache that would embarrass most 1970s porn stars? Oh, it all comes full circle!
The lyrics of this paean to Raymond are translated here:
“Who?”
“Oh, him”
“Yes, I’m crazy for Raymond”
“Not bad, this guy”
“He makes me woozy”
“A wicked good-looking guy, this Domenech”
“With a magnificent gaze”
–unintelligible line here–
“The nose of a practical man”
“He forces the action”
“I’m crazy for Raymond”
“Handsome, this guy”
“His style”
–unintelligible line here–
“He’s impeccable, this Domenech”
“I put on my boots and get into the action”
–unintelligible line here–
“I imagine”
–unintelligible line here–
“And here the whole world adores you”
–unintelligible line here–
“If he attacks on my pitch”
“I will be without a defense”
–unintelligible line here–
“I live my life in color”
“Yes, go ahead, it’s good”
“Yes, go Raymond!”
If you wish to be aurally violated, feel free to peruse the video yourself.
A few points to take away here: (1) Ms. Ringer is clearly insane; (2) Ms. Ringer needs elocution lessons; and (3) Christophe Dugarry would sing a decidedly different tune.
Comments
Shouldn’t there be a line about the second place position and crummy +2GD in a shitty qualifying group?
“The nose of a practical man”
I don’t know why that’s funny, but it is.
of all his facial features, I can’t believe she didn’t mention those fabulous eyebrows!
“If he attacks on my pitch I will be without a defense”
That’s because you’re fielding Mexes and Boumsong you silly porn star!
Maybe Raymond has been getting his atrological advise from a singing Ms Ringer
ugh, please do not remind me of the existence of Philippe Mexes.
Who is the sick puppy now!
[...] on The Guardian’s Football Weekly podcast, and it’s since appeared in The Times, ONTD, Unprofessional Foul, and probably plenty of other places too. But that doesn’t mean we can’t share it here [...]
This is a woman who has laid steamers on guys chests on video, so I find this rather mundane life choice she’s made and Im sure it wont be the thing (or 10) she regrets the most.
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?
Please do.