In preparation for next summer’s World Cup, England lost over the weekend. Some card snafu blah blah. Ten men blah blah. Etc.

This actually probably works in England’s favor (and much of the rest of the world) as it all but assures a second place Ukraine finish (not weak!) and a Croatian-free South Africa.

Anyway, after Robert Green got sent off, Andriy Shevchenko stepped up to take the ensuing penalty kick. And he missed. And if John Terry is to believed it’s because he went all Malkovich and got inside Shevchenko’s head. Of course if you apply Occam’s Razor, you get the actual explanation that the overpaid Ukrainian sucks.

Still, from Mirror Football (and the world’s most irritating Flash ads): “England captain Terry wound up Shevchenko by whispering in his ear and it was enough to make the Ukraine captain miss his first half spot kick. Terry said: ‘I did have a word with Sheva before he took the penalty, but I’m not going to say what I said. I’ll keep that to myself!’

My guess: “I always wanted to give you a rusty trombone. And do it lovingly…” And I don’t think he was kidding.

Your guess?