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October 16, 2009

Honduran National Hero Jonathan Bornstein

Bornstein's reward?

Bornstein’s reward?

Jonathan Bornstein’s equalizing goal against Costa Rica for the USA in the dying minutes of stoppage time of the final World Cup qualifier meant a lot for the US of A after a devastating one-two injury punch of Charlie Davies (prior to the match) and Oguchi Onyewu (during the match). It meant even more to Honduras though as the nation slipped into the final automatic World Cup qualifying spot for CONCACAF when it looked like they were destined for the playoff match against Uruguay. This will be Honduras’ first trip to the World Cup in 27 years so it was quite a turn of events for the nation, so much so that Honduras is now inviting Bornstein to Honduras as an honored guest.

The de facto Honduran President Roberto Micheletti stated “We’ll bring this gringuito who scored on the header” and he would not even need a visa. I have no idea what a gringuito is but it sure is nice of him to offer him a free trip to a country Bornstein was just in this past weekend and required significant security to keep the USMNT safe and there had been discussions of moving the match to a neutral site for the safety of the players. Sounds pleasant.

Micheletti also indicated that he would take Bornstein on a free trip to Islas del la Bahia. Sounds quite romantic. But, maybe Bornstein should just ask for a lifetime supply of bananas and coffee and avoid partying with political leaders at island resort villas (see: Berlusconi, Silvio).

[Note to self: Do not accept free trips from political leaders trying to seize control of a Central American country.]



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47 Comments


  1. WhiteSpeedReceiver

    Gringuito? Little Gringo?


  2. Sounds like a white mosquito.


  3. I thought it meant “Above-Average Jew” – Micheletti reads UF, doesn’t he?


  4. phil

    Gringuito literally means “little gringo,” but in most Central American and Carribean dialects, the suffix “-ito” is often attached to certain terms to connote a term of endearment. Being called gringuito, in this case, is like your Mexican friends calling you “huero.” It’s like calling him “white boy,” but in an endearing way.


  5. I only have Mexican servants. They call me Culero.


  6. Goat

    If I recall correctly, Bornstein is also half Mexican. I can’t be bothered to look it up. It’s not like I have easy access to that type of information.
    @NYK: If Micheletti starts chanting “OO-SAH, OO-SAH!” upon meeting Bornstein, then there’s no doubt.


  7. If I am only recalled for two things during my tenure at UF, I want them to be 1) introducing people to OO-SAH and 2) MS Paint offside diagrams.


  8. Georger

    3) being vehemently anti-Catholic


  9. teeknuts

    Did anyone else know that ESPN was going to show the U-20 world cup final? Cause it just came out of nowhere after Sportscenter.


  10. @Georger: how did you know? i hate transubstantiation.

    @teeknuts: did not know. does your name mean you have wooden nuts?


  11. Georger

    Good lord half of the Brazil team is playing for me in FM. Had no idea Alex Teixiera was black!


  12. Georger

    Ghana are getting bitched like two bitches in a bitch boat.


  13. Goat

    @Phil: Thanks for doing my work for me. I’ve also got my dissertation to finish if you’re interested.


  14. teeknuts

    It’s a kinda dumb combination of my first and last names I came up with in 9th grade for my Xbox live gamertag. Also, I do have wooden nuts after I lost my testicles in an unfortunate juggling accident, but that’s unrelated.


  15. Georger

    So your name is Teek Nuts? Not a dumb combination, just dumb names.


  16. well, at least it’s high quality wood you have for the replacements. that’s a bonus. you wouldn’t want ash or pine nuts.


  17. Georger

    MLS level free kick there.


  18. Georger

    o/u oldest actual age of a player in this game: 24. I’m taking the over.


  19. Georger

    Wow straight red.


  20. teeknuts

    And now Ghana are truly f**ked.


  21. teeknuts

    I don’t think I agree with that card. He wasn’t even close to being the last man back.


  22. Ryan

    Wow, not too sure about that one. He wasn’t truly the last man there


  23. Georger

    Frank De Bleeckere is normally one of the best refs in the business, that was a bad bad call. And the tackle right before that should have been a second yellow for the Brazilian cat.


  24. teeknuts

    Please tell me the back of that guys shirt actually says Wellington Junior.


  25. Moonshine Mike

    People hate transubstantiation? How can you not like anything that turns water into alcohol?


  26. Georger

    I don’t see anyone on the team sheet with “wellington” anywhere in their name, so who knows.

    Good to see Brazil have a young crop of white guys with s**tty neck tattoos.


  27. James T

    All this talk of the U-20s? For shame, you’re missing the big game of the day. Cheltenham are losing 2-0 at home to Macclesfield… League Two, baby!


  28. Ryan

    0-0 going to extra time.


  29. teeknuts

    They might be a somewhat ridiculous way to decide things, but by god are penalty shootouts fun.


  30. Georger

    CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE


  31. teeknuts

    The commentator’s yelp of pain at Maicon’s missed penalty was amazing.


  32. Ryan

    The Brazilians looked pretty weepy considering they were still up 3-2 at that point.


  33. Georger

    That was a pretty sweet goal call on the last one to win.

    EAT IT BRAZ/sIL


  34. Georger

    How pissed is Jim Rome that his show got cut into?


  35. Goat

    I love it that Rome got preempted. Nice orange wedge joke, though. Dick.


  36. Goat

    Georger, perhaps you could send one of your special uneaten dicks baskets to Rome.


  37. Georger

    Fresh out, mailed the last one to balloon boy. Did he really make a trivial pursuit joke, or am I missing another meaning of orange wedge?


  38. Ryan

    I think the implication was that soccer is a little kid’s game, and that mommy had brought out the orange slices and the game could end.


  39. Georger

    Oh. Well, I’m an idiot.

    (orange wedge used to be the sports category)


  40. MCR

    Is it too late to point out that Micheletti is in fact the legal president of the country?


  41. according to all reports I have seen, he has been referred to as the de facto president. the country is going through a constitutional crisis which centers around the election of a president, so there is probably some dispute as to who is the rightful president and who is recognized as president.


  42. MCR

    There really shouldn’t be. Zulaya, the former president, had proposed a constitutional reform which would allow him to stand for re-election; Honduras’s constitution prohibits multi-term presidents in an attempt to stave off the sort of banana republics so common in Latin America. The provision of the constitution Zulaya attempted to reform cannot actually be changed; even attempting to do so results in the forfeiture of office. Again, this is an attempt to check would-be Presidents-for-Life. President Zulaya asked for the reform to be placed on the ballot; the Honduran Supreme Court ruled that such an action was unconstitutional. Zulaya put the question to the military, asking them to distribute ballots with the reform question to the populace, and the leadership of the military, including the Minister of Defense, resigned. When Zulaya attempted to use armed civilians to distribute his ballots, the Supreme Court, after consultation with members of the National Congress and Zulaya’s own government, ordered the military to remove Zulaya from the country.

    That much is unquestioned. Some sources say the military broke into his home and bundled him onto a plane while he was in his pajamas; others say it was handled more professionally and that Zulaya changed his clothes on the plane to cut a more sympathetic figure. Regardless, his vice president, Roberto Micheletti, replaced him with the blessing of the Supreme Court and Congress.

    The problem came with the ambassadors, who are all Zulaya appointees and his political allies. Because Zulaya told his story to foreign governments first, and because Micheletti has proved to be a hamfisted politician, Zulaya is still viewed as the legitimate president, even though he forfeited his office by attempting to extend his term. There’s no coup, since the process conformed in all respects to the provisions of the Honduran constitution.

    That’s the story. Bornstein is awesome. We’re not gonna make the knockout rounds.


  43. jjf3

    On a purely non-political/intellectual note, if even a 10th of the women in Honduras look like the one I work with, he should be hiring a private plane to get him there ASAP…


  44. MCR

    Especially if he’s going to get a free trip to an island resort.


  45. [...] Honduras is headed to the World Cup because of the US. And el presidente wants to thank the dood who scored the goal. (Unprofessional Foul) [...]


  46. I think it was a nice part of the Honduran president to invite the player over his country, we have to understand not all contries in the world have the same political views as here in the US, you can call them whatever, 3rd world contries, banana contries, coffe contries, blah, blah, Honduras is a Beautiful place and if I was Jonathan I would take that offer in a heart beat, I would never take it from a cartel or drug lord but a president hello such a Honor, this guy brought Happines in time of depression to this lil country, think about it.
    remember we are the ones left behind, the rest of the world eat, breaths, and play soccer and that makes them happy, we are not happy people. we are a nation run by money and not happines



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