Say Hello to ‘Lil Wayne!
Or rather, to use his proper name, Kai Wayne Rooney. The potato-headed Man United striker was excused from training this morning to be with his lady, Coleen, who gave birth to the couple’s first son at Liverpool Women’s Hospital at 2.20pm today. He’s doubtful for the team’s CL “clash” with CSKA Moscow midweek, but honestly, they don’t need him thanks to 3 wins in 3 group games thus far.
No word yet on whether Kai (mercifully, they went with Kai Wayne instead of Wayne Kai… say it fast a few times, it kinda works) respects the referee or not. Still too early to tell.

Comments
Kai?
As in Cobra Kai?
Did Rooney name his kid after the bad guys from The Karate Kid?
Kai is also a variant of throat-singing popular in Japan, though I doubt the Rooneys sit around at night listening to obscure Asian voice CDs
I heard that he immediately received a RC after peeing on his Portuguese wetnurse.
In Yoruba, a Nigerian language, Kai means “love.”
Maybe they named him after Wayne’s favorite player:
http://bigpapadaddy.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/natashakai.jpg
Goat: I almost had a 4chan (MOAR) moment. :P
This kid is a trending topic on Twitter. God help us if England gets the WC.
Does anyone know what happened to my hubcaps?
In German, Kai is short for Kaiser.
/retreats back to the library stacks.