Open Thread: Liverpool v. Birmingham City
Rafa perfects the shoegaze
Being that it’s mid-November, we’ve officially reached “Must Win” territory in the EPL, though not just for the newly-promoted visitors. Liverpool, in the midst of perhaps the worst run in recent memory blah blah blah you’ve already read this paragraph a thousand times over. It’s quite simple. One game at a time. Build momentum. Hope that all the injured players come back fit and healthy from yet another interlull, ready to fight on once more.
Rafa hinted that Gerrard and Torres might feature tonight, such is the depth of Liverpool’s malaise, but it’s all smoke and mirrors. The hunt for goals rests on David N’Gog’s slight shoulders.
Can Liverpool spark a win, or will a gritty, determined Brum side nick more points off the big boys? I’m reckoning a 2-1 win for Liverpool, though not without its fair share of heart-in-the-mouth, edge-of-your-seat moments more commonly found in Hitchcock movies.
Lineups after the jump, along with a Fanzone video reminding us of last season’s better times. Toss your despair/schadenfreude/jokes/derision in the comments.
Liverpool: Reina, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Insua, Mascherano, Lucas, Kuyt, Benayoun, Riera, Ngog.
Subs: Cavalieri, Aquilani, Gerrard, Kyrgiakos, Babel, Spearing, Darby.
Birmingham: Hart, Carr, Roger Johnson, Dann, Ridgewell, Larsson, Bowyer, Tainio, McFadden, Benitez, Jerome.
Subs: Maik Taylor, Phillips, Espinoza, McSheffrey, Queudrue, Carsley, Vignal.
Comments
is that Georger on the right?
Why the fuck isn’t Aquilani starting? So much for not slipping farther in the fantasy league.
That just might be the greatest video of all time.
Whoa Penistown United have fired SAF’s son? AWESOME!
Simon Pegg is a United fan?
Also, this is a huge fuck you to Babel after scoring against Lyon. So much for a turning point in his career, bye bye Ryan.
ha… Pegg was on Twitter recently noting how he follows the English national soccer team, but doesn’t have the time/inclination/connection to a club team and therefore doesn’t pay any attention.
Sounds like a poofter to me, which is a clear violation of Rule Six.
Caroline Cheese questioning whether Kuyt should be the captain. Fromunda Cheese has more societal value than her.
What in the hell is going on with Ngog’s socks?
Awesome, gamecast is going to update once every 5 minutes.
bit better than gamecast
Way better, but I have to manually reload the Guardian page, so it’s less desirable.
There’s an auto update option right above the picture of Frowny McGoatee. Unless you’re on a phone, then, you’re fucked.
I know of such button.. but my work network seems to defeat the Guardian but hasn’t figured out how to outsmart the dumbshits in Bristol.
WOOOOOOOOOOO
Voronin would have shanked that over the crossbar.
Well done sire.
not sire, just sir.
Let’s hope Rafa gives this French kid a chance to develop properly!
Teemu Selanne is gonna be PISSED someone else has name.
I did not see that coming. Well done, though.
what? what? who scored? what’s going on?
A Frenchman, believe it or not!
In other words, your mom.
The Guardian is way, way better than ESPN: “Lucas tries a reverse pass which just beats Ngog. The young Frenchman has looked really good tonight so far. Full of running as they say. Whatever that means.”
Right… but I actually have two computers at my work station, so I can put one up on the ‘game’ and work on the other. Key to this is something that auto-updates. For whatever reason, the Guardian MBM doesn’t on this network. ESPN usually does. Ergo I am stuck using the crappier product.
I just thought it was a funny quote.
I really look forward to the “Benitez sinks Benitez” headlines. Another goal from a set piece. Shocking.
Set piece disaster strikes again
I wasn’t trying to rub your shitty work network in your face.
cover it live of the game. That work?
No worries anonster. Plenty of other shitty things about my job are way more deserving of being rubbed in my face. I should be thankful that I’ve got a way to follow games at all. Usually.
You should be thankful you have a job, and aren’t in law school. :P
Joe Hart looks like a tremendous douchebag.
PR, have you every used the live text matches on yahoo eurosport? They autoupdate, and some of the texters are hilarious.
Wait? Ngog scored, but then Benitez equalized for Bongo?
Phil: I have not, but I will soon be trying it.
@NYK: I think so. Equalizer off the set piece.
Liverpool just had three great chances. Ugh. Have to capitalize.
If I could trademark the phrase “Silly foul by Lucas”, I’d be a millionaire.
You’d probably deserve your riches more than Lucas does.
“Christian Benitez has scored his first goal in English football to increase the focus on his namesake, Rafa.”
Soccernet on the ball already. God I hate lazy headline writers.
Commentator informs that “ESPNsoccernet.com devotes an entire section to the upcoming World Cup”
Well, how utterly groundbreaking of them.
it’s really innovative that Soccernet would discuss the World Cup. Where do they get their ideas?
No it is NOT worth an effort from 30 yards when the people taking those shots have scored one goal in their career.
UF Editors, please add this to the main article.
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Football/Pix/pictures/2009/11/9/1257798899034/Carson-Yeung-001.jpg
Words. Fail.
It’s lear ful.
Even Sulu thinks that’s gay.
Gerrard coming on. This is fucking BALLSY.
WHAT A FUCKING GOAL!
FOR BONGO …. FUCK!
So you presumably have a fit player you ponied up 20M for, yet you bring on a guy at 50% fitness instead?
I would guess Nando comes on in the interval?
WHOO BOY.
welcome to bizarro world.
*inhales*
*quietly repeats “Serenity Now”*
Torres isn’t in the squad.
Rafa:Liverpool::Weis:Notre Dame
Discuss.
“It’s a tale of two Benitezes. Has Christian helped send Rafa to the Lions?”
I feel like I’m watching an episode of Rocky & Bullwinkle.
oh dear god.
Amazing strike by Jerome, entirely representative of Liverpool’s season of hell so far.
Rafa has won something, so no.
LE: No, Rocky & Bullwinkle is actually funny.
Georger… it was more about their impending employment status than record.
Roy, that still seems unfair to Benitez, but if Birmingham actually holds on…then we’ll talk.
From the Guardian: “45 minutes for Rafa to save his job? I’m not sure it is, but let’s say it anyway. It makes it more exciting.”
Well neither employer wants to pay the buyout to fire them, so sure.
Danny Murphy looks like a character from “This is England.”
Actually, ND alumni are in line waiting to pony up the dough to oust Whaley McCoach.
@Signal to Noise: Nice Pintsize avatar. Read QC much? I know the artist.
On a differnt note, Fuckity, fuck, FUCK. What is this, seriously? This has got to be all a cruel joke.
@ PR: I’d actually go Lovie Smith:Bears:Rafa:Liverpool
Both have achieved certain successes, but seem unable to adapt their gameplans beyond those by which they achieved those successes. Both seem unable to organize their squads to survive injuries to stars. And both have excessive buyout clauses that serve as the sole impediment to their probably deserved terminations.
NOW, Real Madrid… now you can swoop in for a Spainard.
Make it happen.
Playing sloppy now. This is my nightmare, all that’s missing are clowns.
This from the Gardian: 47 min: It seems Gerrard spent the interval warming up on the pitch rather than in the dressing room looking at Benitez’s drawings. That’s a shame. Rafa had done a lovely one of a house with the sun and trees and everything
That 7-0 win was nearly four years ago, in Rafa’s second year, I’m pretty sure that isn’t “recently.”
Subtle difference, Phil. Virginia McCaskey is cheap. The Tweedles Dee and Dum are just broke.
Aren’t those supplied by your Avatar, Georger?
True, PR.
“Liverpool coming forward in waves of red fury, kind of like Spain only not as good.”
I laffed.
Yeah, it’s all about facing your fear, but they’re lacking on the field. If one shows up in the stand, the end is nigh.
All our shots are coming from distance when we were working well in the box earlier. Brilliant strategy.
You have to bring off Lucas for Aqualani soon. How the fuck do you expect him to get match fitness without playing?
That won’t happen until it’s too late Georger. It’s always too late.
I’m guessing Aquilani’s gaining fitness just happens to coincide with his turn to sit in Rafa’s rotation.
I prefer to call it the “carousel of ineptitude.”
Are there ponies and carny music?
Not starting Aqualani was the right move, I mean he’s only played like twenty five minutes for us, but you can’t just give him ten minutes and say hey, be our savior.
In the Georger-nightmare version, there are clowns and they sing “Glory, glory, Man United” while the Liverpool fans ride a their burning dreams of silverware into some level of hell.
Anonsters:
Jes.
/Special1′d
PENNO
bongo have put the bus in park. oh wait, it’s been there all along, methinks.
Hahahahahaha what a dive.
And it’s a dive straight out of the Stevie G handbook
If you’re going to play Gerrard for 45 and change, you might as well start Aquilani, no? Play them each about a half?
Merde! A dive!
Jesus Fucking Christ! Is it too much to ask for LFC to just fucking beat somebody without there being any drama. Also, why doesn’t the manager fucking play 20MM pound signing when he’s on the bench? And, what the fuck happened to the Liverpool defense? It used to be so good.
I will now go and cry in the corner.
So Ngog should get suspended for that, then the suspension lifted for no reason. Then we will get a string of offsides and handballs goals called in our favor. Right Arsenal fans?
Maybe Ngog is the new Henry, not Babel.
Justice not served. The ball does lie.
“And, what the fuck happened to the Liverpool defense? It used to be so good.”
Well, one of the worst defenders that ever suited up for us is in charge of running the defense now. Not sure why nobody has questioned that.
must we rely on a player only at 50% to get anything from this game? honestly, rafa what the fuck have you been doing for five fucking years?
Georger: It’s not just to Arsenal that such calls happen. All good teams get them.
Wait. Ngog gets a yellow for a dive, but we still get a penalty shot? that makes no fucking sense to me. it’s like graham poll is refereeing the match.
Bitter much, Georger? I’d think you’d be thanking some red-clad trinket idol instead of immediately lashing out against the Gunners.
I know what this match needs.
More Dossena!!
Georger: It’s not just to Arsenal that such calls happen. All good teams get them.
Including Liverpool. In the CL. On more than one occasion.
Alamo reference? I’d prefer a Rorke’s Drift one.
Hahaha I’m not bitter about Eduardo, just saying that is what happened, and then yall managed to get some fortuitous bounces in the games thereafter in Europe, maybe that’s what happens to us!
@TFA: the card was for squaring up to Carsley prior to the kick.
TFA, cards were to Ngog and Carsley for handbags.
TFA: “…a blatant dive from Ngog. Both he and Carsley got booked for squaring up to each other before the kick was taken.”
Jinx.
Lucas Leiva is: THE RALLY KILLER!
Yossi needs to come off man.
put in aqualani then if Yossi is hurt a bit, time to earn his fee
Uhoh open html tag
Anfield, where hamstrings go to die
And Yossi gets karma effed for the dive.
*for N’Gog’s dive, obv.
Surely Lucas for Aqualani soon right? RIGHT?
Ngog should get some sort of punishment for that, not sure how the FA does things compared to UEFA (other than: without a spine) though. But in a season with the beach ball, I’m not going to feel even remotely bad about that.
but that’s where we’ll get the shaft. he’ll get suspended for that. while the beach ball will be awarded a winner’s medal in may.
So Ngog should get suspended for that, then the suspension lifted for no reason. Then we will get a string of offsides and handballs goals called in our favor. Right Arsenal fans?
No, this should be handled differently Georger… since it was UEFA that bottled the Eduardo ban, the FA can show the world that the English people, their press, and Football Association will not tolerate cheaters… no matter how French they might be!!!
Doubt the FA will do anything. They know better than to open that can o’ worms. Think UEFA was trying to placate Scotland so they could continue to live in denial about how badly they suck.
“the FA can show the world that the English people, their press, and Football Association will not tolerate cheaters”
Breaking from tradition then?
Gerrard playing pretty damn well right now.
No pressure on Aqualani here at all …..
Aqui, Aqui, Aquilani…
fucking hell.
I spell his name differently each time, and each time it’s wrong. I’m just going to call him Coach K.
alright…about 20 minutes too late but what do you expect from a manager who is mildly retarded.
I do the same with Vermalen. Think I’m going with the Vermonster.
The Guardian says: 82 min: Kuyt’s shot is charged down but it falls to Gerrard who lobs the ball onto the roof of the net. Aquilani replaces Lucas. He gets a big cheer having finally proved that he actually exists
“Aquilani replaces Lucas. He gets a big cheer having finally proved that he actually exists”
He could have gotten knifed there and they wouldn’t have called it, rightfully so.
…about 20 minutes too late but what do you expect from a manager who is mildly retarded.
And that is how a sip of Dr. Pepper ended up on my computer monitor.
@PR: glad somebody’s having a laugh because i surely am not.
Here comes a minute of time wasting. HE’S BEHIND THE PLAY, JUST KICK THE FUCKING BALL.
BTW, I love this headline @ the Guardian: “Arsène Wenger’s utopianism will get him nowhere if tomorrow never comes.” Well… duh.
You know what really sucks is idiots are going to blame this on Torres not being in the squad.
Or, to bring back your comment from yesterday; they will blame it on Voronin not being in the squad.
Four minutes of stoppage time at Anfield; that’s one minute of stoppage time for you, WhiteSpeedReceiver…
well, if torres was in the squad would LFC have won?
i say yes. thus, they are correct. although, the causation is a bit suspect.
I KEEEEED!!!
Voronin, our Zlatan!
We really haven’t given Hart anything to do this half aside from the penalty. Typical really.
“well, if torres was in the squad would LFC have won?
i say yes. thus, they are correct. although, the causation is a bit suspect.”
Both goals were from his direct replacement, and Ngog played no part in either goal for them.
is this really the best time for gamecast to stop doing updates. fuck them in their goat asses.
Blow the whistle when we have it in the attacking third? Okay …
This IS failure, the announcer is right.
fucking hell.
Wow… was ready to bet money the winner was coming in stoppage. Oof.
when you out shoot an opponent 35 to 5, and you only draw… i don’t even know what to say. serenity now!
Look at the bright side: you didn’t lose, as you ought to have [see: no-penalty penalty].
Is Birmingham actually good? Consecutive draws v ManCity and Liverpool. Not bad.
Draws are fun. I love draws. Draws draws draws.
By my count we had three shots on goal in the second half. Abysmal.
Still very much in for fourth place though, that’s all that matters right now I guess. Now we get two weeks or rest before the inevitable exit from Europe which everyone will make out as a surprise, then probably a 6-6 game against City. Looking forward to that one.
“when you out shoot an opponent 35 to 5″
Most of them were way off though. We really were controlling the box early in the game, then they start with the long shots flying into the crowd.
“Still very much in for fourth place though, that’s all that matters right now I guess.”
It’s cute that you’re still keeping faith.
hmmm…resorting to long range shots…i wonder what could help with that…perhaps a midfielder with some passing skill and good vision that could unlock the bus parked in the box…did the manager have anybody like that on the bench? i don’t know, but he did buy a 20MM pound midfielder selling him as somebody that could do that and that guy sat on the bench until the 84th minute.
mildly retarded. extra mildly retarded he is.
Spurs and Villa don’t have the depth or talent to keep it up (already been shown by Spurs, last season showed that for Villa) and City still can’t defend and can’t play together. If we improve, it’s between us and City. Liverpool haven’t played close to their best this season. The question is, will they ever/
Spurs don’t have the depth or the talent, and Liverpool have…
A 2-2 draw v. Birmingham.
Keep the faith, my brother.
Liverpool haven’t had their choice XI once this season, they have lots of room to improve, I said IF they improve. Spurs and Villa are not better than Liverpool.
City, I still haven’t figured out those cocksuckers.
Villa looks scary on their day. Spurs too. Liverpool without Torres is certainly not as scary going forward as Villa and Spurs. I’d take Keane/Defoe or Crouch and Agbonlihor/Carew/Young over N’Gog/Kuyt.
For like the tenth time, I’m not talking about the teams as they stand right this second.
Georger: Spurs have injuries, too. The depth and talent of Liverpool should mean that they can overcome their injuries, as against Spurs who, with their lack of depth and talent, just suffer under the burden of the injured-list.
Liverpool is better than Spurs, but 3 points behind. Spurs beat 8th place Sunderland 2-0. Liverpool drew with 15th place Birmingham.
But yeah, I hear you. Liverpool is much better.
I mean obviously if Torres is out for three months with surgery, they’re done. That may still happen, who knows.
Sorry, mate. But to be fair, West Ham with Dean Ashton would be comfortably mid-table. But injuries happen.
Sorry, I posted before I saw that you repeated yourself for the 10th time.
But I’m pretty sure that the only data we have is the teams as they stand right this second. Your projections for the future are not data. Just hope.
(And hope is fine. You’re a fan, after all. I have hopes for Spurs. But I take my hopes for what they are, not as facts.)
http://www.physioroom.com/news/english_premier_league/epl_injury_table.php
Arsenal are currently the most injured team in the EPL. And they sit second on the table, and Wenger still has options in the midfield.
Injuries are part of the game, Liverpool’s problem (and this is stating the painfully obvious) is that they are incredibly susceptible to injuries to two player… both of whom are currently carrying injuries.
“Injuries are part of the game, Liverpool’s problem (and this is stating the painfully obvious) is that they are incredibly susceptible to injuries to two player… both of whom are currently carrying injuries.”
Yeah, they’re paper thin at their two most important positions.
Is there any reason that Torres, El Zhar, and Kelly aren’t on that list? And soon to be Benayoun, so hey, we’ll be equal!
And I’m not trying to make excuses because of the injuries, I was talking about the rest of the season. IF those two stay healthy, I have the utmost confidence they will finish fourth.
Is there any reason that Torres, El Zhar, and Kelly aren’t on that list?
Yes, because it’s horribly unreliable (particularly for fantasy use)… but it’s a decent measure of how banged up any given team is.
And all I was saying was, keep the faith.
Because your confidence is just that: faith. :)
Nah… Georger’s got a crystal ball. As well as a hotel suite in Vegas with free running taps of hookers and blow. This is what he does to kill time between lines.
Keed.
Nah blow isn’t my style.
Funny, PR. I’ve got crystal balls.
Not sure that’s the same thing, tho.
Makes sense… hard to get a powder to flow out a tap.
Jesus, reading this comment thread re: injuries and L’pool’s chances is mind-bogglingly redundant.
Georger, 3-1 at Anfield would say that yes, Villa are better than Liverpool. We’ve certainly got the better back line, and bar Stevie G and Torres, there’s no one on the Pool side I’d want at Villa.
And BTW, Georger, regarding depth, it’s not like O’Neill stood still in the transfer market. His name is not, after all, Rafael Benitez. He bought 3 defenders who would WALTZ into the Pool side, thus shoring up depth issues at center, left and right back (and indirectly, at central midfield). Yes, the matches are dependent on whether a) O’Neill has avoided starting Heskey and b) if Carew cares, but at least, save the loss to West fucking Ham, we’re not conceding late goals, something that undid us last season. Oh, BTW, if our keeper goes down, we’re also not relying on Diego Freaking Cavalieri.
“Georger, 3-1 at Anfield would say that yes, Villa are better than Liverpool.”
Burnley aren’t better than United.
“He bought 3 defenders who would WALTZ into the Pool side”
Waltz onto the bench? You’re higher than me if you think Habib Beye would start over Johnson, and while I wish we had held on to Warnock instead of Riise, Rafa’s system is more suited to wing backs as he relies on width from the back instead of the midfield. Warnock doesn’t fit that mold like Insua and Aurelio (I’m not including Dossena, for obvious reasons). I would take Dunne as a solid squad player though that’s for sure. I’m assuming those are the three you meant, and not Collins. I do like what he did on defense, especially considering who they had to replace (obviously not referring to ZK).
I’m more referring to offensively. if Young can put together an entire year like the first half of last year, then fine. And who knows what happens with Downing, though I like that as a backup. Delph is a great young signing, but can he really make much of an impact on a season long level? You guys had an absolute nightmare stretch in the winter (something I am all too familiar with), has enough changed so that you don’t go through a four month stretch of something like only four games in the league where you scored more than one goal?
And if Reina goes down, I have a feeling that Gulasci would actually get the nod over that shitty, shitty Brazilian. But if we lose the best keeper in the league, we’re fucked, yes.
Still, I don’t think you guys are going to finish fourth, I think Spurs and City are better overall.
“But if we lose the best keeper in the league, we’re fucked, yes.”
When did you guys acquire Shay Given?
/All I have left to cling to
When we throw down after the break it’s going to be two of the best keepers of the EPL era, yet there’s gotta be at least six goals scored in that game.
I would believe any result in that game, from a 4-0 win to a 0-5 beatdown.
Looks like Yossi and Riera could have blown muscles. If so, well, take back pretty much everything I said. We sure as shit don’t have the depth at any position but left back.
I was referring to Dunne, Warnock and, yes, Collins, who has been quite outstanding. All three would start over Carra, Skrtel, Insua or Agger.
And as terrible as Beye has been, at least his signing means that O’Neill won’t be playing NRC or Gardner at rb, increasing the depth at central mid.
And Milner has been improving by leaps and bounds, too, which will take a lot of pressure off of Webbie
Skrtel yes, Agger/Carra, nope. And again, Benitez only likes wingbacks (for better or worse), so I really don’t think Warnock would, but that isn’t about his quality, just the system.
Riise cost us Bellamy and Warnock AND a Champions League Final appearance. Cocksucker.