Vassell Given The Boot (From His Bed)

All hail DARIUS VASSELL WOOOOO. But where will he sleep?

He arrived with a look of shock on his face as hundreds of fans met him at the airport to hail a coup. In England Darius Vassell was seen as past it. However, in the Turkish league where older players come to die see out their careers his arrival was celebrated and he was treated like a god. The throngs chanted his name and draped scarves around his neck.

Today? Darius Vassell has just been booted out of his hotel and has no idea what the fu*k is going on.

When I first read this story I thought that maybe the noise from his power drill may have been responsible for his eviction but no, it appears as if his club, Ankaragücü, are having some financial issues relating to a takeover. Training has been canceled and Vassell’s hotel bill has not been paid. Vassell also says that wages have been late in coming. The former England forward really has no idea what is going on as he hasn’t picked up the lingo yet.

“Today there was a problem, there was no training today and there was different communications. Some people thought there was training, some people thought there wasn’t.  I know there has been a change of ownership and perhaps that is part of the problem. Until everybody is organised and everyone is settled down perhaps it will be like this. My heart tells me I must stay here and play here. The fans made a big deal for me to come here and play and I can’t abandon them now because I love football and I love playing football here in Turkey and I am sure my future is here.”- Darius Vassell.

He loves playing in Turkey? Or he loves being able to collect a salary? That’s harsh actually, Vassell is still only 29 and has played over 260 Premier League games for Villa and Manchester Arabia. Vassell could have  joined a number of bottom dwelling EPL sides. He would surely walk into the Pompey and Hull starting XIs. Since arriving in Turkey, Vassell has scored twice in seven appearances.

I am sure the fans are fuming over the mess that the club appears to be in, Turks LOVE their football and take the game very seriously. I have witnessed the games that take place throughout the night on artificial pitches, 7 days a week, to accommodate the demand. I once played at 3am with a bunch of waiters and barmen in Fethiye. The game finished at 4.30 and most of the guys went straight to work to serve breakfast.

Anyway, Lets hope this mess is sorted out by tonight or poor old Darius will be on streets. I’m sure there will be an unlimited number of couches on offer. Even for a practising Christian in Turkey.