Reservoir Drogs. Didier practices for the role of Mr Orange in the inevitable remake.
Apparently the Drogba death rattle performed last weekend, against Manchester United, was the result of a broken rib. Well not according to Cheslea’s doctors, they declared that Johnny Evans ’kung fu’ clearance had left just bruising on the Chelsea thespians chest. Ivory Coast Dr’s disagreed with the Cheslea prognosis and they say that Droba has a broken rib, revealed by their X-Ray.
Now, I have but 2 questions. How on earth did Chelsea’s Dr’s miss this after Drogba’s scan? And will the DVD of last weeks game be allowed as entry into the ‘best film’ category at the Academy Awards to allow Drogba to claim the best actor Oscar that he so rightly deserves?
Not since Tim Roth writhed around on the blood soaked back seat of Harvey Keitel’s car have I seen such an incredible performance of discomfort. Impressive indeed. Almost as if Drogba was sharing his talents with the World, performing for movie directors around the globe. Cantona managed to take the acting world by storm (eeek) so why shouldn’t Drogba? I have lobbied the Academy and demanded that such a performance be considered. Stay tuned.
Reservoir Drogs is not the only remake that would suit the Chelsea front man. How about ‘Slumdrog Millionaire’, ‘The Aviator’, “Broke-rib Mountain’, ‘Crash Dive’, ’The Dirty Dozen’, ‘Dirty Dancing’, ‘Its a Mad, Mad, World’ , My Left Foot’ and ‘Legends of the Fall’. Leave yours in the comments.
Meanwhile, Chelsea have a little bit on an injury crisis to ponder. Drogba has 3-4 weeks to attend auditions as his injury will mean no football until the middle of December. Lampard is out for a month, Cole has a fractured shin and Bosingwa won’t be back until February after knee surgery. John Terry missed the pointless England B team exercise on Saturday with a swollen ankle. No news yet if he will be missing from Chelsea’s upcoming schedule.
So you’re suggesting if a guy gets kicked in the chest and breaks a rib, he should be composed enough to not react?
Hmmmmmm I wonder if Eduardo will be included in “the ‘best film’ category at the Academy Awards” as well…
@ Georger. Did you see his reaction? It was a prize winning seizure fest featuring full leg shakes.
Yeah I saw it. I’ve never broken a rib, but I would imagine a kick to the chest breaking one would probably hurt like a mother f**ker.
Actually no, I broke one once and didn’t know it for 3 weeks.
Das Boot
Perhaps you are Wolverine?
Also, I just spent a few minutes trying to find a good picture of Daniel Day Lewis in My Left Foot to chop that picture of Drogba’s head onto. No dice, sadly.
The Sting
The African Queen
Breaking the Surface: The Greg Louganis Story
Kicking and Screaming
@Eladio. AWESOME.
@Georger – I too broke a rib during a rec league match and played the next 3 matches without even realizing it.
Well then, f**k him.
Didier Drogba stars in “Footloose”, a dramedy about one man and his inability to stay upright
I broke a rib and couldn’t breathe, laugh, sleep, or roll over without pain. I’ve also had the wind knocked out of me in a game on several occasions and, while I didn’t have a seizure*, it was pretty painful and your body does some strange things while it’s trying to get oxygen.
*I had a grand mal seizure at practice once. It was not related to any physical contact and they never figured out why I had one, but I have not had one since.
Way to kill a thread TFA
Pitch Fiction.
Heartbreak (b)Ridge he could play Twitch Jones.
Dirty Harry
Sucks he’s actually hurt, awesome that the Chelsea-Arsenal match will largely be a contest between the two benches
I recently met one of the Chelsea team docs; nice guy.
Oh the irony, I may have broken a rib at footy last night, but I’m not sure!