- Not the handroom.
League play returns today after what seems like a month off. It wasn’t, but there was enough drama for a month in the last week with the World Cup qualifiers. Riots, upsets, controversial plays and Irish luck conspiracy theories. You couldn’t really ask for more as a fan.
Hopefully league play can match the excitement. Liverpool is facing a must win tie against Citeh having won only one match in the last nine. The Reds injury crisis seems to be abating thanks to placentas, odd as that may seem.
There are some other games in multiple leagues across the continent. There will be some good calls, bad calls and controversial calls, but let’s not get out the flamethrowers just yet.
Select games after the jump…
English Premier League
07:45 ET Liverpool v Manchester City
10:00 ET Birmingham v Fulham
10:00 ET Burnley v Aston Villa
10:00 ET Chelsea v Wolverhampton
10:00 ET Hull City v West Ham United
10:00 ET Sunderland v Arsenal
12:30 ET Manchester United v Everton
La Liga
12:00 ET Deportivo La Coruña VS Atlético Madrid
12:00 ET Tenerife VS Sevilla FC
14:00 ET Real Madrid VS Racing Santander
16:00 ET Athletic Bilbao VS Barcelona
Serie A
12:00 ET Bologna VS Internazionale
14:45 ET Fiorentina VS Parma
Bundesliga
9:30 ET SC Freiburg VS Werder Bremen
9:30 ET VfB Stuttgart VS Hertha Berlin
9:30 ET Schalke 04 VS Hannover 96
9:30 ET VfL Wolfsburg VS Nurnberg
9:30 ET FC Cologne VS TSG Hoffenheim
9:30 ET Eintracht Frankfurt VS Borussia Monchengladbach
12:30 ET Borussia Dortmund VS Mainz
sigh.
/puts away flamethrower
come on you reds!!!!!!!
4-4
man, is Adebayor a lazy git
Shay Given is just incredible
I was going to come here and talk about football, but since I’ve never played in an EPL game, Dustin says I can’t talk about them.
Agger will find a way to miss four months with a cut over his eye.
I <3 Shay Given. With Citeh's porous back line, he is like a man at a mark, and remains unflappable.
@NYK: Roy Keane disagrees. Given is supposed to be everywhere at once.
Spurs-Wigan got moved to tomorrow, and still won’t be televised. Crap.
This guy doesn’t realize Slovakia isn’t Slovenia.
jesus christ, we’re the walking fucking wounded!
We need to stop complaining though, because Jack Wilshire is hurt.
@phil – some of the guys on the pitch right now haven’t ever played an EPL match either.
HEY-O!
/get it? Because they’re not good.
De Jong is really a nasty beast.
it would be so awesome if we could play with 11 men sometime today
Bellamy’s two years is now one year.
Babel needs to come off. What a fucking nightmare.
Does Babel have Alopecia, or is that chalk all over his head?
I foresee a Pepe Reina injury after the 3rd sub has already been made, requiring a Stevie G appearance in net
Geez, it’s like ‘Pool are taking sniper fire…
Babel actually was playing well too, what a shame. There is no way in hell Carragher is seeing this game out.
‘Pool are playing a very disciplined match right now. Need to create some chances, though
Sweet Wolverine jacket on the guy in the front row there.
Oh no Kolo Toure is hurt HOW EVER WILL CITY OVERCOME THAT KEY LOSS????
This is the shite luck derby. Now Toure is down.
“Sense of bewilderment now as Ryan Babel limps off, victim of a clash with Steven Gerrard”
Really BBC? I know Gerrard and de Jong look so much alike, so I can see that mistake being easy to make.
Not sure why I insist on reading liveblogs of a game I’m watching on tv.
Agger has a concussion. Thirteen months recovery time, as a guess.
If Tevez does retire, he has a long career ahead of him as a Gaddafi impersonator.
‘Pool starting to put some pressure on goal now…
Scott Norwood is taking over for SWP in the wide right position.
Anyone listen to The Football Ramble? I’m slowly coming around to their position on SWP.
LOOK AT THAT JERK, HE DROPPED HIS NOTES!
This ‘Pool/Citeh game is absolute shite thus far.
And good morning to all, btw.
I like how ESPN has both a “Soccer” and an “MLS” tab on it’s bottom line.
This announcer clearly has a fiver on SWP scoring. Absolutely ripping him, AND suggesting that that was a penalty.
@Ryan: It’s too bad that ESPN has figured that out, but Sunil and Bradley haven’t.
We had better win this. Citeh are awful. Absolutely awful.
I can’t figure out why Citeh are so awful. The talent is there. It’s almost like they’ve never trained together.
I know this is dangerous close to “all black people look alike” territory, but I can’t look at Adebayor without thinking of Augustus Hill.
Ade would probably be better off in a wheelchair at this point.
/misses ‘Oz’
I’d take this as a final result. It’ll give the media a chance to bloviate about 6 draws in 6, but all in all I think you have to accept a point at Anfield.
Georger, you racist bastard!
Matt Damon with a South African accent? Swoon . . .
Hey, I’m running down to the cafe, anyone need anything?
Liverpool are leaving themselves open to counter by attacking? What the fuck are they supposed to do, park the bus at home? God ESPN is fucking horrid.
Put it in the onion bag, Georger.
The hell is the Soccer Power Index? If it isn’t sponsored by Castrol, it’s not a viable ranking system.
the fun of having dogs: about the time Toure got clocked, one of my dogs decided to puke on the carpet. I’ll take all of y’all’s word for it that the 1st half sucked…good thing I woke up at 6 fucking 30 am today…
@EF – I need a vanilla-caramel latte and a pain au chocolat.
How the hell is Toure this team’s captain?
The guy who replaced Toure…it’s like he chose a bunch of letters at random for his surname.
/not as racist as Georger
I was going to say they just subbed on an outstanding Scrabble pull.
Who else can you give it to? Half the squad is pants, and the other is a risk to get sent off nearly every game.
Given, obviously.
If Gareth Barry showed 25% of the heart and skill that he did at Villa, he would be my choice.
MARTIN MOTHER FUCKING SKRTEL
What is a “rugged South American defender?”
Score. Own goal?
Adebayor scoring goals for fun.
seriously, Skrtel is a scary-looking dude.
And nice marking, Ade.
Seriously Hughes, it’s time to take SWP off.
@Ryan – agreed, he’s embarrassing the family name
Announcer informs the Santa Cruz is on the bench as an option.
I thought we wanted to score goals though?
More injuries!
Barry off, announcers baffled as his career has been “ignited” by playing for City.
….. looked like a handball to me
Stephen Ireland has a good first touch, but no chin.
What if you filled Craig Bellamy’s altitude chamber with horse placentas?
The healing power would be immense.
SWP = The fastest dwarf ever?
Apparently, “altitude chamber” is Welsh for cocaine stash.
@NYK: Here is your latte and pain au chocolat – enjoy!
Announcers full of jokes today, I guess you could say I’m Iraqi.
Pain au Chocolat – staring Lexington Steele and Shane Diesel.
Well that was fucking inevitable.
Well, that’s what happens when you don’t mark in the box.
Adebayor to blame for Skrtel’s goal, Skrtel to blame for Adebayor’s.
Ugh, there is no God.
There’s an accent grave in Steele’s name when he’s in French porn, Georger.
More Saturday morning racism: N’Gog and Babel have similar facial features.
FUCKING AWFUL
brilliant turn from SWP
That sucks.
SUPER JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW
Madness
Ahahah, now this what we all expected
Downing on the subs bench for Villa. Fucking outstanding.
The Chinless Wonder – what did I say about his first touch? AND THE EQUALIZER11111!!!!!!!
What the hell has happened here in the past 20 minutes?
Why would Hughes not start Tevez in every game?
Jozy Altidore nabs a 2nd start in a row for Hull.
LUCAS LEARN TO FUCKING CLEAR THE BALL
You not a proponent of the 2-yard clearing attempt, Georger?
Announcer Ian is quite enamored with the horse placenta thing.
@Nathaniel Up to this point, he and Ireland haven’t worked too well together. Punditry says they make a lot of runs to the same areas, not sure if I buy that.
This Greek dude is made of porcelain.
EF he keeps getting kicked in the stomach by his own players.
Bellamy is the Favre of soccer.
From his ManUre days, I’d say that Tevez is 40x the worker that Ireland will ever be. Regardless of the runs to the same areas.
Oh, I wholeheartedly agree, just saying what the general feeling is.
Pixie on the bench.
Ian makes another placenta joke.
that’s it, I’m getting a placenta treatment. not sure for what, but I’m getting one
Placenta jokes 7 – Insightful commentary 0
How many times can Tevez feed SWP, only to have him give up possession?
He’s like a kid out there!!!
Horse placenta should be rubbed onto Lescott’s forehead.
Nasri out on the right? For really, though?
What the hell was Bridge doing there?
Given tells Bridge he has time on the ball, so of course Wayne promptly puts it out for corner.
@Nathaniel: Fuck you for putting that image in my head.
New boots for Kuyt, please.
Ahh, the famous Kuyt Turn. So slow.
I think that one goes in the “Seen it given” category.
Oh come on Pool!!! Make this corner count for something
FUCKING LUCAS. CHOKE!
HA-ha, Lucas.
Lucas: not good at football
I’ll take it considering how poor we were playing.
But christ, what a horrible coaching decision by Benitez to go into a shell after the goal.
I’ll take it. Nothing like Hull City next weekend to break a string of draws hopefully.
Georger, not that you need to hear this, but at least Spurs and Villa are your primary challengers for that final CL spot.
ah…the little leprechaun is all worked up…funny, really.
so, uh…a 20M pound midfielder on the bench who is finally fit but can’t get off the bench…great signing.
Benayoun had to come off, really couldn’t replace him with Aquilani I don’t think.
Either way, this fiasco with him sure as hell isn’t helping Rafa’s chances of seeing any money at all in any upcoming transfer windows.
I don’t like playing at the SoL
Why are they wearing white shorts?
Nice set up, and Rosicky has a great shot.
what a save from Fulop
I. Don’t. Know. Laundry maid (Silvestre) couldn’t get her act together?
Chelsea up already, Hull losing already, and I’m about to go on a bender, all is right with the world.
Why the Bender Georger?
We have Western Carolina at home at three thirty, and as I’m already awake, why not?
While Rosicky was out did he forget the goal size was 8′ x 24′ instead of something more like 20′ x 60′?
Yeah, I’m headed to the FSU-Maryland game at noon. It’s been a wonderful morning.
@umlaut: I’ve been very impressed with Rosicky since his return – he may not have as much flair as before, but he controls the ball better, and looks for the more incisive pass.
Hull already down 2-0.
and Hull go down 0-2. PBPhilBrown may go into meltdown today…
I understand why Wenger is starting both Ramsay and Traore, but going away at Sunderland? That’s a big ask – Black Cats are tough.
Steve Malbranque fucks up again
Dammit, EF, factual analysis doesn’t have the funny. Stay with me here.
Sunderland look lethal on the counter, save for Steve.
Bruce looks like a Soprano’s character in that sweat-suit.
Sorry, Umlaut. I’ll check myself in the future.
Is it just me, or does there not seem to be a lot of movement for Arsenal on the attack? They are filling up the box (TWSS) and just standing around.
@Umlaut: Do you remember the game against Bolton at the Reebok last year? Gunners played as fluid a passing game, as dominant a possession game, I’ve seen for about 20 minutes in the first half. I haven’t seen the same balance of passing and domination since.
That was me.
I just urban dictionary’d “twss.” I should know better.
But yeah, not movement in the final third. We’re whipping many crosses, but no one is at the backpost.
Ahh, fuck. What a nice little run by Song. Eddie just misses the pass to Song.
Nasri you little bitch.
No, Nasri, no no no . . . don’t be injured.
WTF is going on in Hull?
Phil Brown lives! What a fightback.
Not to downplay their comeback, but it is WHU.
it is Hull City as well. it’s relative.
Hammers are going to have to get serious and lace up their Katy Perry lingerie at the half.
Darren Ferguson unveiled as new Norwich manager . . .!!!!
. . . on my Football Manager
… clever girl
Kakuta going to come on for Chelsea soon. Hopefully he’s better than on my FM, where I paid through the nose for him and he proceeded to do fuck all. Enjoy rotting on the Motherwell bench when I loan you out each year, dickhead.
Kakuta never pans out. Stephen Defour? Phenomenal pick-up for me.
Arsenal need to muscle this win, if they do win. It’s similar to the Fulham game a few months back.
Wolfsburg v. Nürnberg = hell of a game, fwiw.
that’s a serious crease in the pixie’s shorts
And a Wolfsburg player just got studs in the face.
And the commentator says, “Oh dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear…. This isn’t modern-day warfare, is it? It’s all about fair-play, isn’t it?” Guy cracks me up.
@Anonsters: the guys on GolTV kill me. They do a phenomenal job, IMO.
What the hell was the point of that wall? Reid bends it around the wall and it still barely bends around the near post. The was was barely a factor.
AND NURNBERG WIN IN THE LAST MINUTE OF STOPPAGE! MAXIMILLIAN SCHELL WOULD BE PROUD!
I miss being able to watch Bundesliga on my TV, but I’m not paying for the Spanish language package just for that channel.
Yeah, Ray Hudson is Der Mann.
And holy shit, this is a fantastic game.
Turns out Maximilian Schell isn’t dead, so oops.
I get Deportes as part of my sports package, even though there is a separate Spanish package.
if GolTV is on the Spanish Tier on your cable/satellite provider, you’re getting robbed. It’s on the Sports Tier on mine
Yeah, mine too.
I know. I figure if GolTV cared enough, they would pressure Charter into a change. They don’t care, I don’t care. I’ll pirate the games I really want to see.
Nuremberg used to be sponsored by “MisterLady Jeans.” I wish this weren’t true.
Umlaut, this game was on ESPN Deportes, which is on Charter’s sports package.
I just watch the Bundesliga stuff they have on ESPN360.
Mainly b/c I don’t have a TV.
Bwomp bwomp.
@EF – you know because you used to wear them, didn’t you?
Steve is coming off, to be replaced by Frazier. Positive move, Bruce. He feels this game should be won.
Used to wear them? Abso-fucking-lutely. And I looked amazing.
Traore, whiskey tango foxtrot?
Not down here it isn’t.
@u75 – me either; ESPN Deportes is only on the Spanish Tier on Comcast. I tried protesting, but they didn’t care
We haven’t been able to complete the last pass, the through ball, all day. I’m terribly vexed.
Interesting. Well I guess the tradeoff is my internet only works half the time and I can’t get the NHL Network.
Florida only has two options for cable: Comcast or Brighthouse. It’s impossible to get all three “soccer” channels on both.
well, thats no good.
That was expected.
Motherfucker. Not totally undeserved.
Frazier did not mean to make that touch.
@EF – and yet, he was more wide open than a Thai ladyboy on $5 night
Exactly, umlaut, these are the goals we give up. Sunderland knows this, and have been looking for it all day.
Well, that’s all four furries in. Let’s hope their combined super powers get a couple of goals.
West Ham level it at three. Have had some insane games today.
Mensah is straight out of 1992.
I like the moves by Arsenal. Put some speed on, look to spread the game.
I just did a spit take on that shot. My poor computer.
Yeah, you should really start swallowing.
DOGGIE DOGGIE DOGGIE
Here comes the best strikeforce THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.
Anonsters bringing the puppy back to UF!
Fabs is frustrated.
Hey, who’s that CL winner coming on?
Bolo Zenden? OH ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKS WILL PLAY NOW!
God I hate Bolo Zenden.
“Hey, who’s that CL winner coming on?”
Did he win one with Barca? Sure as hell didn’t with us.
I don’t know if Sunderland has worked harder than us today, but our attacking in the final third has been spotty.
“What is Bolo Zenden attempting there?”
I’m not sure he knows, Mr. Announcer.
our attacking in the final third has been spotty
stupid Yaz.
Hahaa. Thank you NYK.
WHY IS NO ONE ON THE BACK POST?!?!?!?
Oops. I guess he transferred in right after Pool’s CL win. My bad.
Come on, Shark Feet. Put that in.
If it weren’t for Fab, Song would be our best player this first half of the season.
Now if things stay like this, and Everton pulls something out of the hat, this will be a good day.
(And my proposal to achieve world peace is to provide every person with a puppy. I’m a freak.)
GET ON THE MOTHERFUCKING END OF THAT!!!
DAMMMMMITTTTT! Two people can’t get on that one?
And fucking Burnley had to go blow it.
these are agonizingly close chances
The problem with puppies is that they become dogs and stay dogs for a long time.
NaniTheo, pass the fucking ball.Doesn’t sound like a problem to me, ü.
And it was Emile Heskey w/ the Villa goal, of all people. Heh.
@Anonsters – I read that as “it was Emile Heskey of the Village People”
NYK: Starring Emile Heskey and Nic Anelka.
WHAT A TACKLE
Holy shit he just got racked in epic fashion.
Was that a penno? Show a damn replay
How the fuck is that not, Wiley?
No replay of the tackle on Vela. Solid work FSC, solid work.
Alan Wiley is Irish, isn’t he? I see what’s going on here.
BLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE
Oh well. Get well soon, RvP.
I’m gonna have to call shenanigans.
I’ll take Villa dropping points with us for sure.
Still no replay.
Well. If we had won that, it wouldn’t have been deserved. Sunderland were more than equal to the task. We must be better away from home.
Now we just need Man Ewe to drop points, and we’re looking good for the Wigan game tomorrow.
COME ON YOU SPURS.
Wut?
Now the question is: do I watch the Mattress Makers, Inter, or the ole alma mater take on Tennessee Chattanooga. Hm.
and STILL no replay on the 2nd half highlights!
CONSPIRACY!
Brodie Croyle sucks.
No argument here.
BC, thankfully, playing like they have no desire to play in Tampa.
might be a record. i’m showered and dressed by 9:30 on a saturday morning.
@TFA: impressive. I was up at 7:30 to get an Americano at my neighborhood cafe. I wasn’t showered, though. Or dressed for that matter.
Hey, so I’m down at the FSU game; if anyone watching the game sees a douche in aviators and an Arsenal jersey, um, that unfortunately is me.