Can you name the famous player by their football card picture? [Three Match Ban]
Harald Schumacher has nothing on Vyacheslav Malafeev [Dirty Tackle]
Edmonton to NASL as well? I thought all the Canuck teams had already gone [WV Hooligan]
Sir Alex is really sorry he degraded the FA Cup 10 years ago, but it wasn’t his fault [Sporting Life]
Bundesliga’s top scorer from 5 years ago now down in the 6th division [SI]
Finally:
adidas make some spurious claims about their new jogbra-backed shirts. Did they do the global warming science as well? [The Offside]

Gotta be Gary Lineker.
Top seeds fear dangerous floater France.
Floater. Shit. Laugh.