unprofessional foul
Thursday September 2nd 2010

Sepp Blatter Proposes that Ireland Be Given “Moral Compensation”

Dunne and Keane In Line for a Special Award
Dunne and Keane Are in Line for a Special Award!

When Thierry Henry picked up the ball and threw it into Ireland’s net to secure France’s place at World Cup 2010, you just knew that it would result in endless entertainment from football’s governing powers that be.

Today, Sepsis Bladder yet again did not disappoint when he announced that, no, Ireland would not receive any financial compensation, but that they do in fact deserve “Moral Compensation.”

Now, having grown up as part of the American touchy-feely, self-esteem generation, this can mean only one thing…. A participant’s medal! Yay, everyone is a winner when it comes to FIFA!

Ireland will be meeting with the FIFA Council of Self-Esteem next week to discuss the possibility of a special award. Expect more hilarity to ensue as well as more choice quotes from Liam Brady.

30 Comments for “Sepp Blatter Proposes that Ireland Be Given “Moral Compensation””

  • The NY Kid says:

    Am I allowed to cackle maniacally at Ireland yet? Or is it still too soon and in bad taste?

  • knocsucow00 says:

    Hehe…mORAL Compensation

  • ebullientfatalist says:

    Let them eat potatoes.

  • Precious Roy says:

    Wouldn’t you have thunk the Irish would have come up with vodka instead of whiskey?

  • epiblast says:

    Yes, let’s give them a tangible “award” so that they will never forget getting fucked out of the World Cup; and, yes, I do know that at that particular point in time neither country were winning.
    After beach-ball-gate and now hand-ball-gate can any governing body say that they’ve done a good job this season? I submit that they have not.

  • phil says:

    @NYK: Are you Thatcher in disguise?

  • epiblast says:

    This could be a good time to ask the question, does France get an asterisk next to their name in the record books, a la Barry Bonds?

  • corky says:

    Cripple Fight on Aisle 4. I repeat, Cripple Fight on Aisle 4.

  • Anonsters says:

    That actually does look like Robbie Keane…

  • phil says:

    @epiblast: Only if Mark Ecko buys Henry’s left hand.

  • phil says:

    Holy shit, Anonsters, you are right. He’s even pointing and shouting.

  • Precious Roy says:

    Asterisk? For what? Not getting out of the groups for the second time in three World Cups?

  • phil says:

    Just when you think FIFA can’t possibly fuck this situation up worse, these hamfisted fools go and do just that. Sepp Blatter could fuck up a wet dream.

  • The NY Kid says:

    @Precious – ah, yes, We are so disheartened at our performance in the WCs of late. The winning of 1 and playing in another final is truly a national shame.

  • Keith says:

    There’s that French arrogance!

  • Georger says:

    Remember when Henry did an archer’s over Carvalho to get them the winning penalty in the semi final? I sure as shit do.

    A team of terrorist Nazi zombie pedophiles (roughly: Germany) could win this, and I’d still be happier than if France won.

  • Anonsters says:

    Mit Gott für Kaiser und Vaterland!

  • The NY Kid says:

    @Georger – did you somehow miss the approximately 1,342 dives that the Portuguese engaged in?

  • Georger says:

    They weren’t diving, they were slipping on their hair gel and tanning creme.

  • Precious Roy says:

    Feast or famine NYK. And if the pattern is going to hold, you’re out early this time.

  • Georger says:

    Looking at France four years ago is like comparing George Mason’s basketball team this year with theirs of four years ago. No Zidane (or anyone remotely close to him) = fucked.

  • Precious Roy says:

    Actually I think this France team is much better than the one four years ago.

    Domenech is that fucking bad at his job.

  • Georger says:

    That may be, but they seem to have a problem overcoming his retardation without the best player in the world (shocker). I have seen nothing from France the last two years that suggests they can get out of the groups.

    They need Cisse!

  • The NY Kid says:

    Domenech makes baby Jesus (and me) cry on a regular basis. I think that overall this squad has more talent, but there is no natural leader. No one is prepared to will this team into the latter stages, to put them on his back whenever necessary.

  • MCR says:

    No fear, NYK. Lassana Diarra has never been known to cringe away from a tough situation and a bit of competition.

    What’s that? Oh.

  • Georger says:

    Bruno Cheyrou is available.

  • Clemantona says:

    I am not going to South Africa because I will either be dissapointed with not getting out of the group stages, mugged, and/or prostituted.

    The team that plays in the summer will also feature a fit Ribery and a fit Gourcuff. Two players that dramatically change the dynamic of the French team when they play well. Please reference Euro 08 if you aren’t convinced

  • leo laporte says:

    An award for being sniveling, whining, groveling vajayjays?
    Yes, then by all means. No one has lost so much sympathy so fast as the irish did.

    On the other hand, Georgian should be punished for their lack of response at being robbed in the Georgia-Ireland game by that fake PK.

    Look Georgians, you will never get anything in life if you dont cry and make an annoyance out of yourselves.
    Heck, you could have milked that error for years.

    Or gotten an medal like Ireland and the ’special’ kids.
    Maybe the irish would be happy if they are allowed to take par in the Special Olympics football tourney.

  • Clemantona says:

    I remember the Georgians whinning quite a bit about some Russian “invasian” malarky.

    Grow up Georgia!


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