Should Have Been E for 'Easy'
The draw for World Cup 2010 (South Africa!) is complete, and now we must wait for six months until the matches begin. But here at UF we are incredibly impatient, and have no fear of being proven idiots, so we are launching our Group previews. Who plays who, and where? Which players will we identify as vital to their country’s advancement only for them to be left off the roster in the next few months? Which country will we tab as the surprise of the group only to see them fail to earn a single point in the group stage?
Join us after the jump for generalizations, highly inaccurate predictions, and straight-up misinformation, won’t you?
(All times EST)
Monday, June 14:
Italy v. Paraguay; 2:30 PM — Cape Town Stadium (Cape Town)
Tuesday, June 15:
New Zealand v. Slovakia; 7:30 AM – Royal Bafokeng Stadium(Rustenburg)
Sunday, June 20:
Slovakia v. Paraguay; 7:30 AM — Free State Stadium (Bloemfontein)
Italy v. New Zealand; 10:00 AM — Mbombela Stadium (Nelspruit)
Thursday, June 24:
Paraguay v. New Zealand; 10:00 AM — Peter Mokaba Stadium (Polokwane)
Slovakia v. Italy; 10:00 AM — Ellis Park Stadium (Johannesburg)
Country: Italy (the Azzurri)
Coach: Marcello Lippi
Current FIFA ranking: 4
WC history: After declining to participate in the inaugural World Cup, the Italians went back-to-back in ’34 and ’38. It would be a 24-(Oops) 44-year drought before they won again in 1982. They were also finalists in both 1970 and 1994, losing to Brazil on both occasions. And in case you forgot (or are French with a huge capacity for denial) the Italians are the current Cup holders having baited the only French person to ever fight at anything on the World’s stage into a headbutt. And let’s put this to bed now, Zidane didn’t cost France anything in 2006. They weren’t winning when he was sent off (sound familiar… Ireland?); and the match was going to penalty kicks. Yes, I’m assuming the French would have failed in the PK shootout avec or sans Zidane.
How they qualified: First in their group.
Players of note: Gigi Buffon, Fabio Cannavaro, Fabio Grosso, Andrea Pirlo, Mauro Camoranesi, Antonio Di Natale, Guiseppe Rossi.
Important notes: The Italians are old, and maybe their most dynamic and non-old player is actually from New Jersey. They’ve almost all lost a step across the board in the midfield and Cannavaro (who should have won the Golden Ball in ’06) is a shell of the defender who shut down in the world in Germany. The Azzurri didn’t play particularly well during qualification but managed to win a relatively easy group. That’ll be small consolation for Lippi, as a squad very similar to the one he will take to South Africa, didn’t fare too well in last summer’s Confederations Cup. A very in-form Totti is still contemplating un-retiring, but that doesn’t help an aging back line and puts the Italians in the unfamiliar role of playing to outscore the opposition, something they didn’t seem too interested in doing in the last Euros. Still, obvious shortcomings aside, the Italians got about the easiest draw of any seeded country in the field and are about the closest thing to a lock to make the second round. And even that flawed Italian team was a PK shootout away from eliminating current world #1 Spain in the last Euro. They are always dangerous. They are also always slow starting in major tournaments, so don’t be surprised if they draw in their opener against a decent Paraguayan side.
Country: Paraguay (Los Guaranies)
Coach: Gerardo Martino
Current FIFA ranking: 30
WC history: The Paraguayans have made it out the groups on three occasions (1986, 1998, and 2002); and all three times they lost their first knock-out match. This is their fourth straight World Cup finals.
How they qualified: Finished third in CONMEBOL. That’s a little bit under-flattering to Paraguay. Brazil won the group on 34 points with Paraguay and Chile finishing a single point behind them. Chile took second on goal difference.
Players of note: Roque Santa Cruz, Claudio Morel, Christian Riveros, Julio Cesar Caceres, Justo Villar.
Important notes: Paraguay actually led CONMEBOL for much of qualifying but started to sputter as they approached the line. Wins against Argentina were tempered with losses to Bolivia. So, while far from dominant, they are dangerous on any given matchday. Progression out of the group stages will probably come down to the match versus Slovakia. And should they progress, expect them to keep batting 1.000 in first knock-out game exits as they will likely face Germany. Paraguay can learn from the past all it wants, still seem doomed to repeat it.
Country: Slovakia (Repre)
Coach: Vladimir Weiss
Current FIFA ranking: 34
WC history: This is the first qualification for Slovakia as an independent nation
How they qualified: Won Group 3 in UEFA
Players of note: Martin Skrtel, Robert Vittek, Marek Hamsik, and some other players in desperate need of more vowels.
Important notes: Skrtel might have the highest Q-rating on the Slovakian squad but Hamsik is the guy on whom this team’s chances hinge. The 22-year-old is a midfield menace for Napoli. See the comment about Paraguay for Slovakia’s chances of advancing.
Country: New Zealand (The All Whites)
Coach: Ricki Hebert
Current FIFA ranking: Surprisingly, not in the triple digits.
WC history: This is the second World Cup for New Zealand (1982 and 2010).
How they qualified: First in Oceania. Won a two-legged playoff with 5th place AFC country Bahrain.
Players of note: Nobody. Okay, that’s not totally accurate. Ryan Nelsen is at Blackburn and Chris Brown at West Brom, so their not totally devoid of World Class players (or the rough equivalent thereof) Chris Killen plays for Celtic, but he kind of sucks.
Important notes: The All Whites are toast. They’ll be lucky to better their results from 1982 when they lost all three matches, conceded 4, 3, and 5, while netting 0, 0, and 2 against Brazil, the USSR, and Scotland respectively. That’s zero points and a -10 GD.
Group Prediction:
Italy
Paraguay
Slovakia
New Zealand
I have a particular interest in this group as I’m half Italian and half Kiwi (even hold a passport for the latter). Still after watching the Azzurri continue to take out players I have outside rooting interests for (McBride, RvP) I’m starting to feel less affinity for them. Like you care about my heritage. Still I’d love to see the Kiwis nick a point from someone here. Outside of the hosts, they are easily the worst team in South Africa, so getting any result in their three matches would make it a successful Cup. Not happening, though. Anyway, as ridiculous as it sounds, Italy isn’t a metaphysical lock to win this group. They might struggle against Paraguay (mark it seven, Dude) and that would take the group out of their control. Still the Eye-Tals shouldn’t have too much trouble advancing. And that makes the most intriguing match the one between Slovakia and Paraguay. The Euros conceded more goals than any other group winner in all of UEFA, and the Paraguayans certainly have some firepower up from (assuming Santa Cruz can find any playing time in the first half of 2010 to get some form). So slight advantage to the South Americans.
Keep an eye on Vlad Weiss for Slovakia, coach’s kid, I refer to him as the destitute man’s Ronaldo.
Originaldo or Prissy Ronaldo, Ryan?
Headline on the BBC is “Man City suffer new Johnson blow.” I just thought everyone should know.
/5th gradered.
Oh, definitely the prissy one. Not afraid at all to run at people, stepovers galore, just hasn’t quite put it all together yet.
@PR: Pedant alert! Italy’s drought – 8 plus 4 carry the 1. Erm, 1962?
Re: Paraguay. What are they failing to learn? Don’t get drawn against Germany in the first knock out round?
@Ryan: Weiss is pretty good then? He came across the radar for something recently, didn’t he? Did he score for you guys?
@Wedel I really rate the guy, Hughes seems to have him firmly entrenched being SWP though. He was recently in the news for bagging the 3rd goal against Arsenal in the Carling, first professional goal. No idea what he’ll do in South Africa, just thought I’d add my meager knowledge to the UF heap.
@Ryan: Right, that’s where I heard it. Is he pre-Sheiks or post-Sheiks?
Can’t say that I add much the substantive discussion around here myself, but I at least like to keep tabs on what’s going on with the blue half of town.
Hey, you try doing math while blogging at work. Yes, they should learn not draw Germany. I can’t remember who said it and I’m paraphrasing, but there is the quote: “Eleven men play against eleven men, and at the end Germany wins.”
@PR
Gary Lineker said that.
“Football is a simple game – 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win.”
@PR: Was it Pete Davies? I remember a quote from his “22 Foreigners in Funny Shorts” that went something like this (paraphrased):
There are a few constants in football: the Brazilians play with style, the Italians hack, the Argentinians score, the English lose in PKs, and the Germans always win.
I wish I had that book with me; its stored somewhere in my parent’s attic beneath four tons of Legos.
If I had a NZ passport, I think I might live there. Heaven on Earth. I really hope they’re competitive – the Kiwis are just too nice of a people to root against. But they will suck and then choke again at the Rugby WC in 2011.