"I'm Going to Eleven!"
Dear Turkey:
Why don’t you like me?
Yours Truly,
Sex
Okay, so I felt obligated to keep with the day’s letter-writing leitmotif. Yeah, yeah, sex can’t actually write anything. Still even in its non-personified state, sex (or the having of it) isn’t so kosher with folks at Fenerbahce.
From Yahoo!: “Reports from the country earlier this week suggested that Colin Kazim-Richards, Vederson, Fabio Bilica and Santos organized ‘sex-marathons’ in a hotel in Istanbul.” And now the manager, Christoph Daum, is confirming those reports.
He even said so: “Sadly, I have to confirm that the rumours are true. I’m absolutely shocked to find out that these kinds of things are happening.”
What kind of idiot is Daum? He never expected young, wealthy, fit people to want to have sex for as long as they could stand it? Anyway the dickweed puritan manager put all four players up for transfer. Turkey makes no sense to us.
Precious Roy: The Turkey F**ker.
How do sex marathons occur in Istanbul? Shouldn’t they happen in Marathon?
No, they should happen on Lesbos.