Wednesday Liveblog: Commenter Club Special!

Is Tevez allowed to have that gun?

Welcome to your Wednesday liveblog! Today’s featured match is Tottenham v. Manchester City because we have quite a few supporters of those clubs around, and we love our commenters. Also, it’s the only match on TV so please keep us abreast of the other goings-on. Because pending results in those other matches, this blog may explode in self-loathing.

Burnley v. Arsenal (2:45PM at Turf Moor)

Burnley – Jensen, Mears, Caldwell, Carlisle, Jordan, Eagles, Elliott, Alexander, Bikey, McDonald, Fletcher. Subs: Gudjonsson, Nugent, Penny, Thompson, Blake, Guerrero, Kalvenes

Arsenal – Almunia, Sagna, Jude Law, Willy Gauloises, Silvestre, Theo, Cesc, Song Billong, Diaby, Nasri, Magic Pixie. Subs: Wilshere, Vela, Emmanuel-Thomas (c’mon, even we don’t know this guy), Ramsey, Eduardo, Eboue, Fabianski

Chelsea v. Pompey (2:45PM at Stamford Bridge)

Chelsea – Cech, Ivanovic, Alex, Terry, Cashley, Mikel, Ballack, Fat Frank, Deco, Le Sulk, Kalou (!). Subs: Ferreira, Carvalho, Hilario (Portuguese-speaking trifecta!), Zhirkov (UF’s man!), Cole, Borini, Malouda (ask James T how much he loves him!)

Portsmouth – Begovic, Finnan, Ben Haim, Wilson, Hreidarsson, Mokoena, Mullins, O’Hara, Diop, Boateng, Piquionne. Subs: Vanden Boree, Hughes, Yebda, Utaka, Ashdown, Dindane, Belhadj

Liverpool v. Wigan (3:00PM at Anfield)

Liverpool – Reina, Carragher, Skrtel, Agger, Insua, Super Jew, Mascherano, Stevie G, Aurelio, Holland’s Dirk Kuyt, The David Ngog Experience. Subs: Darby (Terence Trent?), Lucas, Cavlieri, Nando, Mr. Glass Aquilani, Kyrgiakos, Dossena

Wigan Athletic – Kirkland (ask Ned how he rates!), Melchiot, Boyce, Bramble (ah, Titus), Figueroa, Scharner, Gomez, Diame, Thomas, N’Zogbia, Rodallega. Subs: Sinclair, de Ridder, Cho, Scotland (they have a whole country on the bench!), Amaya, Kingson

YOUR FEATURED MATCH:

Tottenham v. Manchester City (3:00PM at White Hart Lane)

Tottenham – Gomes, Corluka, Dawson, Bassong, BAE, Lennon, Huddleston, Palacios, Kranjcar, Defoe, Crouch (Nachos!). Subs: Alnwick, Keane, Jenas, Hutton, Bale, Pavlyuchenko, Modric

Manchester City – Given, Richards, Onuoha, Toure, Sylvinho, Ireland (they have a whole country on the pitch!), de Jong, Barry, Carlito, Adebayor, Robinho. Subs: Weiss, Petrov, Taylor, Kompany, Roque Santa Claus, Zabaleta, Mwaruwari

00:00 – Keith is banned from the liveblog for rooting for Burnley.

00:00 – Sarah and HL ruin Goat’s chances of not knowing the score when he watches the Arsenal replay at 5pm on FSC. But he really should have known better.

00:00 – On replay, it was a harsh RC on TP Mazembe GK in the 5th-place match of the Club World Cup. Looked like he took it off his chest (outside of the box) but it was ruled a handball. Crazy stuff in Abu Dhabi!

00:00 – AND WE’RE OFF!

00:17 – Kranjcar fouls Richards, but Carlito is unable to make anything of it.

01:00 – Robinho’s blue boots may be visible from space. That said, I have a similar-looking pair.

02:00 – A cheap giveaway goes to de Jong, who feeds Tevez for a shot that is barely wide right.

03:00 – Defoe earns a free-kick in a good position, and Niko takes it as Crouch looks to be a Lord-a-Leaping. Cleared by the defense for a throw that leads to a corner. That corner is headed out by Crouch, who was impeded slightly by Toure.

05:25 – Strong work by both sides, although Spurs look to have the better of the offense so far. Yes, I’m basing my thoughts on a total of 5 minutes elapsed.

06:30 – Niko finds Nachos in space, but the lanky lad was offside because his legs are 5 yards long.

07:15 – 2nd consecutive offside on Spurs, and then we see a forlorn Pavs in the stands.

08:09 – A long throw finds Crouch in the box, but he appears clueless as to how to turn his defender and is dispossessed. Fortunately, Spurs get the ball back and Kranjcar boxes out Defoe (oops!) for a shot just wide.

10:11 – Ade to Tevez, but they are unable to find Richards sneaking down the right side. On the counter, Niko puts the ball well over the endline with a pass to nowhere.

11:20 – Huddlestone gets a warning for a nasty tackle; the next one like that will earn him a YC.

12:50 – The commentators inexplicably describe Robinho as “a key player”

13:45 – Corner from Tevez goes straight into the side-netting. That’s poor.

[NOTE: Apparently, Burnley have equalized on a PK. I blame Keith]

15:00 – Ireland to Tevez, who is stopped by Dawson. More good work from City goes unrewarded.

17:00 – A stretch of poor passing from both clubs. I blame Keith.

17:20 – Palacios’ name is called for the first time. Some play in the box results in shouts for a PK after Toure breathes on (someone – I didn’t catch it) Defoe, but he went down too easy.

20:19 – Shot from Kranjcar is waaaaaaaaaaaay off target. Perhaps the rain/sleet/snow is affecting him. Or perhaps he is s**te. Tevez follows suit on the other end of the pitch.

21:25 – Outstanding defense by Dawson to cut off a pass intended for the streaking Robinho.

22:15 – Robinho takes a shot that Gomes puts over the bar, rather than catching. The resulting corner is headed by Crouchie and Gomes collects it gratefully.

23:10 – Ade runs down the right side but BAE traps him in the corner, takes it away and nutmegs him. The counter results in a shot over the bar from Huddlestone.

24:50 – Sylvinho is bundled over, and the ref fails to make the call. No respect for the elderly.

26:00 – Some good work by Ireland is wasted as Lennon takes control and passes up the pitch, resulting in a foul by Sylvinho.

26:45 – A Spurs free-kick finds Crouch…offside? Committing a foul? The referee whistles something, but no one really knows.

28:20 – Yet another long ball into the box for Spurs is handled by Toure. Perhaps Tottenham will eventually realize that shots from 30 yards and long balls into Crouch are not particularly effective.

[NOTE: Apparently, Cesc is injured and has been replaced by the young Welshman. Obviously, Keith is at Turf Moor, that dirty Villain]

30:30 – Huddlestone continues to underwhelm with a shot that goes 10 yards wide.

32:00 – A long ball to Corluka and his piss-poor first touch puts the ball out for a City throw-in. Well done, lad!

33:00 – Good build-up from Palacios to Lennon, but Defoe’s eventual finish is well wide. This is some dire shooting by both sides.

34:01 – A nice ball into the box is well-met by Given, who is able to get enough of a palm onto the ball to send it off to the touchline.

34:30 – Huddlestone trips Gaz Baz and gets a talking-to from the ref. De Jong comes over to inform the ref that Tom is on Santa’s naughty list.

36:45 – GOAL! Tottenham 1-0 City! Lennon blows past Sylvinho (surprise!) to put the ball into the box. Crouch gets the head onto it, but the ball goes off Ireland (perhaps a hand). However, Niko is there to clean it up, and puts it past a prone and helpless Shay Given.

38:40 – Given saves City from a 2nd as a long ball finds Defoe, who feeds Crouch in the box.

40:00 – Corluka takes the ball off a disinterested Robinho, and City earn a corner. Bassong puts the ball well wide.

41:10- Replay shows it was Toure, not Given, who stopped Crouch on the previous rush. I always liked Kolo.

41:30 – Yards of space and Niko finds Palacios, who then puts the ball too far ahead of Defoe.

42:10 – Lennon beats Sylvinho again to earn a corner, but Niko is stopped on both attempts, with the 2nd going out for another corner. That one comes into Given, who punches it out and finally collects the next shot.

44:30 – BAE finds Kranjcar over the top, but Ireland and Tevez combine to clear the ball. It eventually winds up going to Gomes, who collects it as Ade attempts to step on his head/hands/junk.

45:50 – Ireland takes a shot to the eye, and immediately Mick cuts him so he continue the round.

46:00 – HALF-TIME! Spurs have looked the better side over the course of the half, although Huddlestone has been dire. He needs an early shower.

[NOTE: PEE BREAK! In tribute to Mad Jens, I will go outside and urinate on the berm on my property line.]

[NOTE: RE: MY BOOTS - GKs must be, in order: (1) insane; (2) arrogant; and (3) flamboyant. Thus, on the pitch I: (1) throw my body all over the place; (2) yell incessantly; and (3) wear electric-blue boots with my name and "GK" written on them. You know you love me]

45:01 – AND HERE WE GO AGAIN!

45:20 – Defoe dribbles through the defense and goes down at the top of the box. The ball goes to Crouch, who feeds Niko for a shot that goes over the bar.

46:05 – More good work from Spurs, but the ball into the box from BAE is eventually cleared. On the counter Palacios takes down Carlito for a free-kick.

47:20 – On yet another long ball, Ade is adjudged to be offside and boos rain down upon him from the home faithful. Man, they hold a grudge.

49:20 – Some movement through the middle results in a Gaz Baz foul on Palacios. The free-kick is played back out through the midfield and results in nothing.

50:00 – “They are giving too much away and making loose passes.” Are we talking about this match or about Tiger Woods’ mistresses? HEY-O!

53:25 – GOAL! Tottenham 2-0 City. A long ball finds Crouch, who flicks on to a streaking Defoe, who gets an excellent boot on the ball to slot it past Given.

54:25 – RSC and Martin “I’m not Stilyan” Petrov are warming up for City, who clearly need some offensive firepower to get back into this match. Remember when Robinho was thought to be the answer?

55:30 – Several balls into the box for City are useless, and somewhere in the mess Micah Richards goes down awkwardly.

57:40 – Robinho dances around and has the ball taken, but play is stopped because the Brazilian caught Palacios in the nose with an elbow. Substitution: Robinho off, Roque Santa Cruz on. Robinho is serenaded with “What a waste of money” from the Spurs supporters as he disappears down the tunnel.

60:30 – RSC making an immediate impact, but his corner into the box is cleared followed by a foul from Sylvinho for hugging. Once again the referee disrespects the old man, pulling out his first YC without so much as a warning.

62:20 – An excellent run from Gaz Baz but he pushes the ball too far. Luckily for him Tevez regains position, but it doesn’t last. On the counter Richards takes out Defoe from behind with no call.

63:00 – A ball from Tevez into the box is too close to Gomes, who collects it and unleashes a legitimate 50-yard throw. Spurs are eventually caught offside with a prone Given and an open goal. Oops.

66:00 – YC to Palacios for being Honduran. Also, he hacked at Toure. The free-kick from Barry is cleared by Dawson and then BAE, all the way up to Defoe. Kranjcar then does some great work surrounded by 3 defenders in the box, but takes a s**te shot.

67:10 – Ireland goes down at the top of the box but the advantage call results in a shot well over the crossbar from Ade. I LOL.

68:20 – De Jong fouls Crouch but doesn’t care for the referee’s decision so he earns a YC for dissent with some nose-to-nose conversation.

70:20 – Niko gets a YC for tripping Ireland, and the ref has really upped his card-giving-outing this half. Substitution: De Jong off, Petrov on.

71:50 – Some good work between Palacios and Lennon goes wasted.

73:00 – A wild shot from Palacios goes high and wide.

73:40 – Lennon beats Sylvinho yet again down the wing, but the ball goes out for a throw. City come on the counter, but the ball is played too long and taken by Gomes.

75:00 – Good work between Ade and Ireland, but Bassong intervenes to put it out for a corner. The ball is cleared, and then put back in, but Barry is offside after his initial corner.

78:00 – Lennon down the wing puts the ball into the box for Crouch, who is called for pushing Richards in the box to clear space for himself.

79:00 – BAE does well down the left-hand side and the ball makes its way to Crouch, who is once again completely unable to turn his defender.

80:30 – A cross from Carlito goes off Bassong for a corner. The ball in from Barry is to the far post, and Ireland earns another corner with a shot that is deflected. This one is cleared out. The commentator says City should have done better because “there are some big units in there.”

81:50 – A long ball finds Defoe almost alone, but his pass to Niko is intercepted by Toure.

82:20 – Lennon easily beats Sylvinho but the ball is played too far, and the old man recovers in time to block the ball over the endline after deflecting off Lennon.

84:10 – City are really pressuring now, knowing that they are quickly running out of time, but the Spurs defense has been very solid.

85:10 – Tevez earns a free-kick after being taken down by Dawson. Replay from an earlier action shows that City were denied a PK on a handball that was adjudged to be a header to Gomes. The free-kick from Petrov is parried out by Gomes.

87:00 – A ball over the top from Petrov brilliantly finds Ade, who is well over the bar on the half-volley. I LOL again.

87:40 – Crouch attempts a spectacular long-range shot that goes well-wide, and the camera appears to catch him saying “WTF?” to his teammates’ questioning looks. No nachos for Pete.

88:30 – Ireland receives a ball from Tevez and lets loose, but the shot is directly at Gomes because Stephen Ireland hates my fantasy team.

89:00 – Ade surges forward, but his ball into the box is cleared for a throw. City are being frustrated at every turn.

90:00 – A ball over the top finds Crouch, but he is trapped on the endline and loses possession. The ball finds its way back to Spurs, who elicit some “OLE” chants with their passing.

91:10 – Spurs are more than happy to maintain possession with passes from one side of the pitch to the other, and taking the ball to the corner. They waste a little time with a sub. Substitution: Defoe off, Jenas on.

92:00 – GOAL! Tottenham 3-0 City. A short corner between Lennon and Kranjcar results in a brilliant goal for Niko. He beats half the defense and nutmegs Given to bulge the net.

93:40 – BAE and Tevez get into some handbags, resulting in a YC to Carlito for coming in studs-up. Substitution: BAE off, Bale on.

95:40 – FULL-TIME! Tottenham 3-0 Manchester City. A truly impressive performance from Spurs, particularly in the 2nd half, and they once again look dangerous to the Top 4.

Thanks for hanging out, kids!