unprofessional foul
Thursday September 2nd 2010

Manchester United Finish Top Of The League

A great book by a great writer about hanging out with United fans
A great book by a great writer about hanging out with United fans

Well done, Red Devils!

Recently-released figures from the police show that Manchester United had more fans arrested last season than any other club! A moment to surely be proud of. Of the 1600 total fans arrested (which doesn’t seem like that many, all told) in 2008/09, 185 of them were fans of Manchester United, while Fulham, their conquerors last weekend, were bottom with just 13 fan arrests.

In the Bans League, perennial front-runners Leeds United (162) grabbed top honours as the team with most fans banned from attending games.

All this violence talk is so heart-warming around the holidays, isn’t it? Policing minister David Hanson was pleased to report that while fan arrests at games was still high, the overall number of soccer-related incidents is down from 2007/08.

“Hooligans once blighted our national game, but we now set an example for the rest of the world in how we police football matches,” said Hanson. “I am pleased with the way clubs and police work together, but we must also praise fans for realising violence has no place in the modern game. We are not complacent and will carry on working to ensure this success story continues into the future.”

Sadly, we all know that next summer’s World Cup will bring that number right back up again. Hell hath no fury than a drunk, disappointed England fan scorned.

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12 Comments for “Manchester United Finish Top Of The League”

  • WhiteSpeedReceiver says:

    UNITED!! UNITED!! UNITED!!

    /smashes bottle

  • James T says:

    I always knew you United fans drank beer from bottles

  • WhiteSpeedReceiver says:

    Beer? That was the corpse of a Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1945, sir. I even lifted my pinky when I smashed it.

  • Eladio says:

    What does Billy Corgan have to do with football hooligans?

  • whizalen says:

    that’s what I was wondering, Eladio

  • James T says:

    Isn’t it obvious? The killer in him is the killer in you

  • ü75 says:

    I felt Among the Thugs was a much too perfect to be true. Still entertaining, but Bruford just managed to be in the middle of everything. Kinda like Frodo.

  • James T says:

    I share that criticism, though still enjoyed the book. Anything that slanders United fans is a-ok with me

  • Goat says:

    I’m still haunted by the mental picture of a United supporter sucking out someone’s eyeballs.

  • MrRedDevil says:

    Great fucking book.

    (punches innocent bystander)

  • Seks Fibreglass says:

    “Hooligans once blighted our national game, but we now set an example for the rest of the world in how we police football matches,”

    Yes, if only the brits could police the rest of their country where violence, race-relations, violence against women and children are much worse than in the US (even South Africa is proud that they have less violence), a country the brits always like to look down when it came to violence.

    French suburbs are a blight and the violence, fundamentalism and despair they bring are something the french govt tries to downplay (when there are 500-800 burned cars during their national day ‘celebrations’, the police are told to say ‘we see nothing’.)
    That said, the french have nothing to envy the brits when it comes to these things.

    So fuck the brits when it comes to ’showing the world’. More video cameras than a dictator could ever know what to do with (this is the country where they have tens of thousands of houses that have constant video surveillance INSIDE homes and planning for many more) yet its still a cesspool of a country which has very little to teach the world and which has been deteriorating but like the french, they rather not talk about it.

    For those that care about stats and want to rub it in some noses that the US is NOT the violent country it is made to be: (Its violent alright, just not THAT violent!)
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/5712573/UK-is-violent-crime-capital-of-Europe.html

  • James T says:

    Seks: excuse the career politician for some typically bland and evasive political speak. Still, point absolutely taken.


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