World Cup Brothels: Thanks, Germany!
Forget Christmas; the real excitement should come this Sunday when one of those irresponsible tabloids finally breaks their shackles and reveals which manager was caught exiting a Thai brothel and being rather casual about it (we’re looking at you, News of the World). Though honestly, it’s hard to adopt an adversarial tone with some journalist when you just cleaned out the pipes.
Anyways, we’ve collated a few jokes doing the rounds, aside from the fact that Avram Grant’s name is being thrown around online far more than we imagined.
How to Tell Which Manager Was In The Brothel
- If he paid for an hour but wanted 65 minutes, it was Sir Alex Ferguson.
- If he paid the money but refused to pay the VAT, it was ‘Arry Redknapp.
- If the girl got undressed but he didn’t see it? It was Arsene Wenger.
- If he paid a huge sum of money but didn’t last long? It was Mark Hughes.
- If he got it up, but couldn’t stay up, it was Mick McCarthy.
- If he failed but insisted that next time will be good, it was Rafa Benitez.
- If he was amazing one minute and dreadful the next, it was Roberto Martinez.
- If he took the cheapest one and claimed he got value for money, it was David Moyes.
If he marched her out to the lobby and berated her in front of the rest of the customers, it was Phil Brown.
If he couldn’t score, but still insisted it was attractive, it was Tony Mowbray
dammit keith.
if he was marched out of the lobby by the madam before culminating his work to be replaced by a better paying customer, it was Mark Hughes.
If he showed up in only a towel, it was Tony Pulis
If he insisted on overpaying for a British girl, it was Martin O’Neill.
If he keeps paying more and more for the same girl over the years for the same results, it was ‘Arry Redknapp.
If he looked incredibly uncomfortable because he wasn’t in his own bed, it was Owen Coyle.
If he was drunk, it was SAF.
I was wondering how to work in Coyle. Well done, Ryan.
If he paid for an hour but spent the last 40 minutes sobbing uncontrollably, it was Gary Megson.
If he threw her under a bus then called her the best ever shortly after it was Roeder.
If diamonds were involved, it was Carlo Ancelotti.
If he was so stunned by her skills that he babbled uncontrollably, it was Graham Taylor.
If he went twenty minutes, then found a different girl, it was Bela Guttmann.
If he dominated for 10 minutes and then faded for 80 minutes, it was Johan Cruyff.
(World Cup 1974 joke!!)
If he was so afraid of getting soaked he brought an umbrella, it was Steve McClaren.
If he got everything out of her that she could possibly give, and then asked for more, it was Roy Hodgson. And the girl was probably Booby Zamora.
If the girl wasn’t much to look at but got the job done, it was Big Sam.
If he was amazing with foreign women but couldn’t get it up for an English girl, it was Juande Ramos
If he left halfway through to go walk his dogs, it was Roy Keane.
If he insisted that the Brit girl get a chance even though she’d left 8 out of her last 10 customers unsatisfied despite having 100 million in plastic surgery done, it was Steve Bruce.
If he talked dirty to her, in a Dutch accent, it was Steve McClaren
If he started brilliantly, then realized he lacked the cash to finish the hour, it was Gianfranco Zola
If he got all defensive about it, it was Helenio Herrera
If he left after doing quite well, its Bryan Gunn.
If another man was doing ok, but jumped ship early on, its Paul Lambert.
If they couldnt quite keep it up despite all their promises and it eventually went down, it would be Avram Grant