This poor lad is out of a job.

This Christmas, spare a thought for the paper boy who’s daily trip up the long drive way to Manchester City’s Carrington training ground has come to an end. No more glimpses of Tevez playing keepy uppy or Robinho relaxing with a copy of his favorite magazine ‘gormless monthly’. Nope those days are done.

Manchester Arabia’s Chief Executive, Garry Cook, has been taking some tips from Kim Jong-Il and he’s banned Newspapers! Yep, no more page 3 for Toure, Mystic Meg for Shay, ‘Roy of the Rovers’ for Roque or large headlines about how much of a douchebag one Mr. Garry Cook is.

Cook is so upset with all the negative press Arabia and (more importantly) that HE has been receiving after firing Mark Hughes, that he has decided that the papers need to go for the good of team morale.

It’s been a tough week for Garry Cook, first he canned Hughes and then his new manager, Roberto Mancini, dropped a hot coal in his lap when he revealed Cook had met with him weeks before his appointment catching Cook out as he had been stating he only met with the Italian to negotiate the position 2 days before canning Hughes. Ever since The Welshman’s departure, the English press have been extremely critical of Cooks conduct over the whole affair.

And today Cook revealed that Manchester City were sounding out new managers last summer while old Sparky was spending a fortune in the transfer market. Cook inquired into the availabilty of Gus Hiddink, Jose Mourinho and even Arsene Wenger!

“Even at that point we looked at the managers who could be available in a World Cup year, and those who might definitely be available. We had no intention of replacing Mark Hughes, but surely as a business we are entitled to examine all the options?” – Garry Cook.

So whats next? Maybe Cook can copy ‘dear leaders’ example by banning league tables from his stars while telling them they are top of the league. Kim Jong-Il plans to keep the World Cup away from North Koreans unless his team wins the final, and there’s more chance of me putting a Roy Keane poster up on my living room wall and changing my name to Alan Brazil or of Garry Cook becoming a likable human being .