"Wilbur, would you like a placenta massage?"
Word out of Anfield (and by ‘word’, we mean ‘baseless rumor’) is that Rafa Benitez is looking to make a major splash in the transfer market in the New Year — by signing up The Placenta Doctor.
That’s right, Marijana Kovacevic, the Serbian housewife who’s gained notoriety by using placentas to help crocked players is now “reportedly” being lined up to join the family circus at Liverpool. With her services coveted by numerous clubs & players, it makes perfect sense to get Liverpool’s walking wounded to the head of the queue.
From the Guardian: “Manager Rafa Benitez and his medical staff have been so impressed by Kovacevic’s work with their injured players that they want to discuss a deal that would see her prioritise care for them.”
For those of you not in the know, Marijana rubs fluid from horse placenta to the affected area, then “treats it with an electro-magnetic device”. Color me a skeptic, but one part of the treatment seems much more obvious to stimulate healing than an other. Then again, Marijana does have the tendency to confuse me and keep me from thinking straight.
Hopefully this Marijana will prove to be quite potent. If it gets Liverpool players back on the field and performing to a much higher standard, I’m all for it.
As Cypress Hill once (kinda) sung, “I love you, Mari K…”
I’m still of the mind that “horse placenta” = HGH.
‘Cause the treatment worked so, so well for van Persie.
Maybe we shouldn’t hold RvP up as the standard, Keith. That guy is made of spun glass.
while that is true, phil, he was only estimated to be out for a month or two before the placenta woman.
A spun-glass RvP would make a great Christmas ornament.
Is it a coincidence that the “doctor”‘s name is Marijuana?
Let’s be sure to use RvP’s proper name: Robin van Porcelain
Liiiiitlllleee Girllll. . .Poooooooooorcelainnnnn