Boxing Day Liveblog Triple-Header, Part 2: Sunderland v. Everton

TIMMAY!

Here we are with Game 2 of our Boxing Day liveblog triple-header. James T ably took us through the Spurs v. Fulhamerica tilt, and somehow I drew the short straw with the seemingly-dire Sunderland v. Everton match. Ned termed this “a terrible, horrible, boring match-up” (while he snatched the Liverpool match at 12:30) and we can only hope that TIMMAY, Louis Saha, and Darren Bent can prove him wrong. Hopefully we’ll see a little more consistency than in the previous match, which threatened to put James T to sleep at several points.

Sunderland:Fulop, McCartney, Mensah, Da Silva, Bardsley, Malbranque, Cana, Henderson, Reid, Bent, Jones. Subs: Campbell, Carson, Nosworthy, Healy, Murphy, Meyler, Zenden.

Everton:TIMMAY!, Baines, Heitinga, Neill, Hibbert, Pienaar, Osman, Fellaini, Bilyaletdinov, Saha, Cahill. Subs: Baxter, Coleman, Vaughan, Yakubu, Duffy, Nash, Neville.

NOTE: Seriously, the MotM is “HA-REL-HO” Gomes? That’s fantastic.

NOTE: jjf3 hates me, and refuses to participate in this liveblog.

00:00 – AND WE’RE OFF!

00:30 – Kenwyne Jones is bundled over by Neill, and the resulting free-kick from Reid is headed wide by the Afro-Puff.

01:30 – A ball into the box from Bardsley is punched out, and the follow from Jones catches TIMMAY a little too high so Atkinson blows the whistle.

03:30 – An Everton corner from Baines is headed out by Jones, but only to Pienaar. His ball back is immediately sent back out for a counter-attack that finds Malbranque on the far right.

04:30 – Another Reid corner is headed out by the Everton defense, but Malbranque recovers and is bundled over by Osman. Sunderland are getting the better chances so far, and the free-kick from Reid is headed barely over by Bent, because he hates my fantasy team.

08:00 – A mess in the box after some good pressure from Everton, and Osman hits the outside of the post as Fulop makes a diving attempt that would have been well short.

10:30 – A deep throw for Sunderland is wasted, and Saha starts a break which is muffed by Cahill.

12:00 – An Everton free-kick from Heitinga is headed out for a corner, which Baines sends to the far post. The ball makes its way into the box and is cleared by Cana for another throw, which is wasted by DinBil.

13:30 – A good ball from DinBil finds Saha, who turns well but puts his shot barely wide.

15:00 – The Russian and Saha combine well yet again, but Louis shoots wide once more.

16:00 – GOAL! Sunderland 1-0 Everton. Cahill is unjustly called for a handball that came off the back of his head and surprisingly maintains his cool. Sunderland come down the other end and Jones gets off a rather tame shot that Howard gobbles up easily. Everton quickly turn it over and Kenwyne Jones finds Darren Bent for an easy header past a helpless Howard.

19:00 – Fellaini gives up a free-kick that is taken quickly, but Malbranque is beaten to the ball. After some hectic play, its picked up by Howard whose distribution into the midfield is given away.

20:00 – Cahill attempts to play the ball out of his end, but a deflection finds Cana alone in the box. His pass finds Bent, whose shot is kick-saved by TIMMAY! to prevent the 2-0 lead.

21:00 – Sunderland have been completely outplaying Everton for the past 10 minutes, and a 2nd goal has looked in the making.

24:00 – Bent tries to cherrypick for his brace, but he’s at least a yard offside. It doesn’t matter too much, as Sunderland regain possession almost immediately, but then cough it up to Baines. Everton have looked confused at times, unsure how to defend after their attacking runs.

26:00 – A deep throw for Everton on the right side, as Baines had been waving his arms frantically on the left without a defender within 10 yards of him.

27:30 – Good work between Cahill and Pienaar, who then goes down in the box to no avail.

29:30 – Pienaar finds Saha in the box, whose excellent effort to control goes unrewarded as his touch is just a little off. Sunderland are on the back foot for the past 5 minutes, as Everton appear to have realized that they need to score in order to avoid a loss. It’s MATH, people!

32:30 – More good work between Saha and Pienaar, but they are again unable to finish as the ball is cleared out to midfield. Osman recollects and moves forward, with Everton eventually losing position again.

34:00 – A shot from Pienaar is deflected up and over Fulop, and the resulting corner from Baines is cleared by Bent. Everton’s set pieces have been dire.

36:30 – Saha is taken down by Mensah, who earns himself a YC for the nasty tackle from behind. The free-kick is from 35 yards, and Pienaar sends it in only to have it headed out by Cana.

37:30 – Afro-Puff sexually assaults Kenwyne Jones in the box in an attempt to get to a long ball, and is dismayed to find that he has been called for a foul.

40:00 – Cahill is awarded the YC for elbowing Mensah in the throat. Dirty bastard.

41:30 – Fellaini commits a handball while holding off Jones near the top of the box. The free-kick from Andy Reid is cleared off the line by Neill, who actually looked to have impeded TIMMAY! from making the save. Strange goings-on in the Everton defense.

44:00 – A long free-kick from Osman finds it way to Fulop unmolested, as the rest of the Everton players simply watch the ball go into the box.

45:00 – Good work from Saha and Pienaar again finds DinBil deep in the box on the left side, but his centering cross finds no one there and Sunderland are able to jog out of the defense.

HALF-TIME: Sunderland 1-0 Everton

HALF-TIME THOUGHTS: Every time they mention John Mensah, I think of this guy. Steve Bruce is fat. Tim Cahill is a t**t.

45:01 – AND WE’RE OFF AGAIN!

45:30 – Hibbert earns a quick corner, and the ball in from Baines is headed down and just wide by Fellaini.

48:00 – Yet another corner from Baines, and this one bounces around in the box before coming back out to Heitinga in the midfield. A long throw is cleared by Sunderland, and they are denied a corner on the break by the corner flag.

50:00 – A long ball finds Cahill, who leads Saha will a brilliant ball but Mensah makes an excellent tackle to prevent anything else from developing.

51:30 – Yet another good ball finds Saha loose in an attacking position, but Mensah recovers long enough for TIMMAY! to come out and take charge.

53:00 – An Everton corner appears to be headed out by Heitinga, but they are awarded a 2nd corner. This one comes in for DinBil and is cleared, but only as far as Saha, who shoots barely wide. Really should have been the equalizer there.

54:00 – A ball in from Henderson is taking on the half-volley by Bent, but it is well over the crossbar.

56:00 – A free-kick from Heitinga is headed towards goal, but Cahill had fouled Mensah because he is a t**t. Sunderland substitution: Malbranque off, Bolo Zenden on!

59:00 – A mess from Everton results in a break from Bent, who finds Zenden on his right. After putting the ball back on his left foot, Zenden shoots but its an easy save in the end for TIMMAY!

60:00 – A ball into the box from Pienaar results in Fulop getting a hit on Cahill’s kidneys. The world rejoices.

61:30 – Fellaini is called for a cheap foul on Zenden. While Marouane may not have committed a foul, its possible that Bolo was taken out by the 3 Cambodian refugees living in Fellaini’s hair.

63:00 – McCartney climbs Cahill’s back, and Baines sends in the resulting free-kick only to have it cleared out to Henderson, whose poor cross finds Zenden at the back post. Sunderland eventually earn a corner kick, which is sent in by Reid. Cahill clears.

65:00 – A shot from Reid takes a deflection off Heitinga, resulting in a corner kick. The ball from Reid results in a foul by Pienaar on Henderson. That free-kick is cleared out to midfield, and then sent back in for a Bent header that TIMMAY! takes easily.

67:30 – A free-kick from Reid is well-headed by Da Silva, and TIMMAY! makes an excellent save to claw it over the crossbar. The corner bounces through the entire box and Everton manage to clear.

69:00 – Everton substitution: Osman off, Yakubu on.

71:00 – Sunderland substitution: Mensah off, Nosworthy on.

71:30 – Saha receives a YC for leaving his boot out and catching Bardsley in the thigh. As action restarts, Everton quickly regain control and Pienaar unleashes a nice shot that goes barely wide, much to the relief of Martin Fulop.

74:00 – A long ball over the top finds Fellaini and Saha in the box, and Louis sends his shot wide. Should have done much better with that opportunity.

77:00 – An Everton corner as Jones heads the ball over the endline. Fulop comes out well to take the corner from Baines, who might be getting tired as that is seemingly his 129th corner kick of the match.

79:00 – Some panic defending from Sunderland over the past few minutes, as the Toffees are really pushing hard for the equalizer.

80:30 – Excellent hustle from Baines keeps the ball in bounds and forces a clearance for a throw-in. A ball into the box from Hibbert finds Fellaini, who sees his shot blocked by Cana. Sunderland break but the ball is too far ahead and TIMMAY! collects it well.

82:00 – GOAL! Sunderland 1-1 Everton. Terrible challenge from Reid on Pienaar results in a free-kick, and he’s lucky to avoid the YC. The kick from Baines is poor, but Everton manage to earn a corner kick. That ball from Baines is played short and blocked by Reid for another corner. This time Baines puts the ball into the box, and the ball is cleared for yet another corner. The ball is well-struck, but cleared out to Pienaar who finds Baines, who has a cross seemingly stopped by Cana with his arm. After more confusion, Fellaini finally gets the deserved result for Everton, absolutely crushing it past Fulop.

NOTE: EF gets a prize for being the only person to comment in the 2nd half. I do believe I was liveblogging for an audience of 1 (myself) for the past 40 minutes.

86:30 – Everton substitution: Saha off, Vaughan on.

88:30 – Cahill has a shot blocked by Da Silva, allowing Fulop to collect it easily. End-to-end action, as Henderson receives a ball from Jones and sends his shot just wide.

89:30 – Bent is destroyed by Heitinga and DinBil, and the latter earns a YC for the nasty tackle. The free-kick from Reid is cleared, but then sent back in by Henderson. Everton manage to hoof the ball out of danger.

FULL-TIME: Sunderland 1-1 Everton. On the basis of their efforts in the 2nd half, Everton deserved the draw. But none of you will have seen it, because I was all alone in here. So sad.