Do you need more rage in your life?
Do you have unlimited resources to buy a new TV on a weekly basis after you have thrown something through the old one?
Do you enjoy scaring your children and/or pets by screaming obscenities at the TV?
Well, you’re in luck!
Fox Sports has decided uber-pendejo Cuauhtemoc Blanco is deserving of his own show, and beginning February 1st he will be “gracing” us with a full hour of his incredible footballing insights. Apparently, despite playing with Veracruz in the Mexican second division and training/playing with El Tri, Blanco has plenty of time to devote to putting together his show which will consist of a variety of famous people discussing football.
The show will be shown in both Latin America and the United States, and considering that it will be broadcast in Spanish we assume that it will feature on Fox Sports Espanol (FSE).
So what can we expect from “La Hora de Cuauhtemoc (Cuauhtemoc’s Hour)”? We’ve been promised actors, singers, and comedians as guests on the show, but it’s not clear if those people will be primarily Mexican stars or if Blanco will expand his list to include a broader array of guests. And what exactly will these “stars” have to contribute to a show that is supposed to be 60 minutes of talk/debate about football? Perhaps he will bring on Andrew Shue, Anthony LaPaglia and Ricky Martin? Or maybe even Salma Hayek?
I’m just going to assume that the first episode will feature nothing but Blanco highlights as Cuauhtemoc provides commentary discussing his awesomeness. It will probably go something like this (translated from Spanish, of course):
Blanco: Watch here as I score this incredible goal in the Clausura.
Carlos Mencia: Man, you just punched that guy in the face!
Blanco: Never mind – check out this spectacular goal in the Copa Libertadores.
George Lopez: Dude, you elbowed that guy in the head!
Blanco: Pay attention now, this is a fabulous goal in the Gold Cup.
Paul Rodriguez: What? You elbowed that Honduran guy in the stomach, man!
Blanco: But what about this outstanding effort in the US Open Cup?
Freddy Soto: You punched that guy in the ribs!
Blanco: Ah, good times!