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January 22, 2010
 

United Supporters Still Horribly Stupid

Your Weapons Are Truly Useless

The Manchester United Supporters Trust is still upset that the Glazers own their beloved football club. So they are stepping up their efforts to oust them.

They are going to wear scarves.

No lie. United fans are going to wear green and gold scarves this weekend to show the Glazers that they don’t like them. Not one bit.

Why green and gold?

Two reasons: First United supporters were unable to think of any more useless gesture. Second, those are the colors of Newton Heath, the club United formed from in 1902.

A Mark Longden of something called the Independent Manchester United Supporters Association said this is just the start. “I think it [green and gold scarves] is a way for people to quite clearly show what has been done to United due to the dire financial situation without having to boycott the games. It sends a powerful message out.”

Know what else it does? Not a damn thing.

Oh wait, wrong. It is going to accomplish something. It’s going to make a scarf maker in Norwich have a very, very good week of sales.

This isn’t powerful, this is a demonstration of how wussified United fans actually are. Funny that earlier in the week the MUST asked Sir Alex to take one for the team and step down (or did that already fall down the memory hole?), but United fans can’t seemingly bring themselves to miss so much as a match. Against Hull no less. Because you know what might really send a message this weekend? An Old Trafford with about 5,000 people in it.

That’d get someone’s attention.

Really, did Trading Places never make it over to England? Then let us impart some wisdom courtesy of Billy Ray Valentine on you: “It occurs to me the best way to hurt rich people is by turning them in to poor people.”

Here’s a suggestion for something that might actually be effective. Start an economic boycott of your club. Sure, your season tickets might already be paid for, but that doesn’t mean you have to attend the matches. And all the empty seats won’t just look bad on TV, they also mean revenue lost on concessions and merchandise.

And don’t watch on TV either, if United’s ratings go in the crapper, that will catch up to the bottom line soon enough as well. Rooney and Rio Jerseys? Don’t buy them. MUTV? Cancel it. Whatever else they hawk with that Red Devil on it, stop handing over money for it.

You want your beloved club back? Well, that’s not happening. But maybe you can force a situation where the Glazers have no choice but to sell to someone you hate less. And that’s about the best you can hope for now. All you have to do is stop giving the Glazers money. Give up your club for a year or two to get it back. It’s not that difficult an equation people.

How much do you really hate the Glazers? How much do you want them gone? Because, believe us, when they count their gate receipts on Monday and they are every bit as rich as after every other gameday, they are going to laugh at their own fans and how powerless and pathetic they really are.

Scarves? Wussies.

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Precious Roy