FA Cup Fourth Round Liveblog: Preston North End v. Chelsea

"I'm The Son Of A Famous, Invincible Manager… Get Me Out Of Here!!!"

Poor Darren Ferguson. He’s been in charge at Deepdale for about as long as it took me to write this sentence (this will be his home managerial debut), and he’s faced with brooding Italian genius Carlo Ancelotti and his slick Chelsea side.

Not exactly the baptism one hopes for when taking a gig, but these are the breaks (to quote the honorable Kurtis Blow) for a team that have won just twice in their last 12 games in all competitions.

In that same song, Kurtis also said that “breaks run cold and breaks run hot / Some folks got ‘em and some have not,” a concept that also applies to this David v. Goliath encounter. We’re still waiting for Chelsea’s cold streak and hoping it comes soon, but today, they should be fine, Cech in goal or not.

So please, let’s at least hope there are some goals, zesty tackles, mayhem and controversy. These are the breaks for which the FA Cup should be known.

Lineups and hackneyed efforts to wedge rap lyrics into my commentary below the jump.

LINEUPS

Preston (4-3-3) Lonergan; Hart, Mawene, St. Ledger, Davidson; Chaplow, Jones, Carter; Sedgwick, Brown, Wallace.
Subs: Henderson, Collins, Chilvers, Parkin, Mellor, Barton, Mayor.

Chelsea (4-1-2-1-2) Hilario; Paulo Ferreira, Alex, Terry, Zhirkov; Belletti; Ballack, Lampard; Deco; Anelka, Sturridge.
Subs: Turnbull, Ivanovic, Joe Cole, Malouda, Matic, Borini, Van Aanholt.

Referee: Mike Dean (he of the 87 YCs and 3 RCs in 23 games refereed in 2009/10. Recently, he dished out 8 yellows and a red during Norwich’s 5-0 win at Colchester, and he held court over the Citeh/United Carling Cup SF midweek.)

The first thing Daz does is switch the formation from a boring 4-4-2. Do you really want to give the Blues that much room down the flanks? Meanwhile, Chelsea make 6 changes from the team that roasted the Mackems 7-2, and the quintet that carry over are all household names – Terry, Lampard, Ballack, Anelka, and Belletti.

Fun fact: the last game for both teams saw them each score 7 (PNE beat Colchester 7-0). This means it’ll be a cagey 1-0 away win today, of course.

7.34am – I just heard that Phillippe Senderos is going on loan to Everton. I’m sure that playing alongside the dreadful Joseph Yobo will do wonders for the Frenchman’s Swiss man’s confidence. Why do I always think Senderos is French? Maybe because he surrenders room at the back so easily?

7.37am – Today in incongruous international friendlies… Poland hammer Singapore 6-1 (with three goals from the penalty spot, no less), and Denmark lead Thailand 2-0 at half-time. You’ll have to wait until later for Syria/Sweden and South Africa/Swaziland.

7.38am – Reading and Burnley kick off at 7.45am as well, so I’ll try and keep an eye on that. Should have been you, Liverpool! Alas.

7.43am – I wish Neil Mellor was in the squad, simply so I could reminisce more feverishly about this glorious goal he scored while a young lad at Liverpool.

What a fantastic, unexpected finish, and a last-minute game-winner to boot. Best part is how it makes Martin Tyler almost lose his voice in the process. The squeaking strain of the great commentator trying to force out “Mellor!” just adds to the beauty of the moment.

Chelsea in bleu, PNE in white. It’s on!

1 min – Some early work down the left by PNE captain Callum Davidson forces Michael Ballack to break a sweat, but nothing comes of it but a long clearance and a throw-in to the home side.

5 mins – Chelsea settle down into what should be a familiar situation: battle lines drawn inside the PNE half and plenty of slick sideways passing around the area. Anelka had a crack on goal that was deflected wide, and then the home side break quickly up the left but the deep cross is easily gathered by Henrique Hilarious.

7 mins – First corner of the game for Chelsea, but Lampard’s delivery is soft into Anelka and PNE race down the other end. Sedgwick’s cross finds Chris Brown at the back post, but his header back across goal finds no-one in a white shirt. A decent start by Ferguson’s men, though a long, long, long way to go.

12 mins – A surprisingly fluid, end-to-end game so far. Zhirkov takes on Sedgwick down the left (should be a good battle, that) and manages to finagle a cross in, but to no avail.

14 mins – That’s more like it, Chelsea. Zhirkov works a nice 1-2 with Lampard at the top of the box and gets room to shoot as he continues his run on goal, but the low left-footed drive is well saved by Lonergan, whose shins ping the ball out for a corner. Nevermind about the follow-up, as Deco wastes the delivery. Why do they let him play in such cold weather? The Deco Principle is simple – when it’s cold, he’s rubbish. Not exactly rocket science. Meanwhile, I must applaud Zhirkov for his efforts having spent so long on the bench for the Blues. Every time I’ve seen him play, he’s been rather impressive, and certainly merits a decent run in the first XI.

18 mins – Florent Malouda, destroyer of team rhythm, ruiner of build-up play, is hastily warming up as Belletti is running rather gingerly and has picked up a knock.

SUBSTITUTION FOR CHELSEA – Malouda on, Belletti off.

20 mins – It’s a typical FA Cup game so far. PNE, true to the underdog’s stereotype, are scrappy and speedy and disruptive in defense, while Chelsea slowly assert their class on the game with a ton of possession. Daniel Sturridge looks to be limping too.

Backing up for a second — PNE captain Davidson isn’t leading by example. A lovely cross by Wallace from the left finds the full-back in acres of room in the box, but he opts to dink it goalward off the top of his head and it loops harmlessly into Hilario’s hands. With room to control, turn, and shoot, he made the wrong choice there. One wonders how many more opportunities the home side will have that were as good.

24 mins – Michael Hart gets his name in the book for a late, comprehensive slide-tackle through The-Uselessness-That-Is-Florent-Malouda. Welcome to the game, Florent.

26 mins – Chelsea respect the ref and surround him to bicker after another sloppy late tackle by the home team, this time committed against Lampard at the top of the box. Ballack, Lampard, and Alex line it up… the German steps up and puts it into the wall. The ball goes out for a corner, though the delivery is awful and Lonergan collects.

Credit to Mike Dean for failing to play any advantage on that foul, from which Malouda rolled the ball into the net. You just can’t get the help these days…

29 mins – If you just tuned in, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the entire game was being played on half the pitch as Chelsea are settling into that possession game around the PNE box. Lampard is tugged back by Chaplow as he tries to run onto a through-ball and Dean blows up for a free-kick, 20+ yards out on the left edge of the box. Alex takes it and drives it on goal, but it’s straight at Lonergan who parries it clear. Just a matter of time until the first Chelsea goal, really.

33 mins – Malouda has a shot from distance that’s deflected behind. Lampard’s corner isn’t exactly punched out by Lonergan (he had no clue where the ball was), but it runs all the way to the other touchline where PNE clear. Only as far as the half-way line, mind you, as Chelsea set up again for another attack.

PNE manage to string more than two passes together on a rare trip into the Chelsea half, but Brown’s lofted pass into the box isn’t well-placed for the onrushing Chaplow, and the move dies like so many moves before it. Still, it had the crowd cheering for a few seconds.

36 mins – Chaplow executes a picture-perfect Archer’s Bow in midfield (though he was tripped, to be fair) and wins a free-kick, but PNE fail to do anything with it. The ball’s shunted back upfield….

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and we knew that was coming, didn’t we? Nicolas Anelka gets the ball wide with room to run at French defender Youl Mawene. He cuts inside onto his stronger right foot and fires off a shot that deflects massively off Sean St. Ledger and finds the back of the net. Lonergan had no chance after it smacked off his defender. Preston North End 0, Chelsea 1

The attacks keep coming and Chelsea win their 5th corner. Malouda drifts it towards the back post but a rather ludicrous scissor-kick by Alex(?) fails miserably and earns him a healthy chorus of jeers from the home crowd. Cut to Darren Ferguson on the sideline, with an expression somewhere between “lost puppy” and “bewildered man out of his depth”.

40 mins – How did PNE miss that!!! A long cross to the back post finds Michael Brown — who looked offside — but he nods it across goal, Hilarious can only punch it weakly up in the air, and from 6 yards Darren Carter only has to tap it in… but he ankle-volleys it over the bar. Terry was on the line, but you’d bet your house on the former Birmingham/Sunderland/WBA midfielder knocking that in. An awful miss that has Ferguson cursing the heavens on the sideline.

42 mins – To be fair to Carter for a moment, the ball took an awfully small bobble off the turf before he met it with his instep. It’s one of those grass-assisted misses, akin to Iwelumo’s gaffe against Norway. Never underestimate the bounce of the ball, folks. A small bounce that’ll give Darren Carter nightmares.

44 mins – Life in the old dog yet! After Paulo Ferreira’s 25-yard surface-to-air missile at the other end (it whizzed narrowly over the bar), Chaplow meets a decent cross with a thundering shot that is deflected behind for a corner. Ross Wallace pumps it into the meat of the 6-yard-box, but Chelsea manage to clear.

45 mins + 1 – Play stops for a moment as two Preston players manage to clash heads on the left wing.

HALF TIME: Preston North End 0, Chelsea 1
Alright, so it’s not as one-sided as it could be. For all their possession dominance, Chelsea haven’t carved out too many clear chances though they’ll still be complaining about the lack of advantage played on that free-kick midway through the half. Still, the Colaship strugglers answered well after the goal and should be pondering how Carter managed to miss that wide-open goal. Gives encouragement for the second half, as does the alarming amount of room Chelsea are giving up down the left wing. Paulo Ferreira doesn’t fancy defending much and with Ross Wallace pinging the ball in, there’s still hope.

At 1-0 down, there’s always hope, at least until the 2nd goal goes in.

Back in 10 minutes — I need to detox briefly.

The other FA Cup early KO is Reading 0, Burnley 0 at half-time.

And because I forced it so unsubtlely into the intro… (and to give consolation to Darren Carter)

Don’t worry, Preston: these are, after all, the breaks.

Back again, and Chelsea have the ball already.

47 mins – Anelka toys with a bemused Mawene on the left side of the box before floating a cross towards the back post, though it’s nodded behind for a corner. Malouda swings it in…

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL, and Rob Smyth is indeed a visionary. There’s your second goal, and Ferguson’s gutted, hands-on-hips, trying to figure out some damage control for the remaining 43 minutes. Malouda’s corner is met by John Terry, whose rocketed header forces Lonergan to scramble it off the line as far as Daniel Sturridge, who happily pokes it in amid the maelstrom in the 6-yard-box. Terrible defending, and an easy finish. Preston North End 0, Chelsea 2.

49 mins – Preston win a couple of corners, but there’s nothing doing.

Syria are leading 1-0 at home to Sweden. Make of that what you will.

51 mins – The home fans are still booming with song, but you get the sense it’s more of an elegy than a cheerful chorus. Chin up, lads, is the right approach. You’re on TV, playing arguably the best team in the EPL, and you should celebrate the occasion accordingly. Get some songs in, show some Deepdale pride, and prepare for your next league game.

Chris Brown toils up front, holding possession amid a sea of blue shirts before being needlessly tripped by Deco. Free-kick to the home side, 30-odd yards out. They’re not going to shoot, are they?

I guess they are! Ross Wallace loops one on goal and forces a dive from Hilario, but it’s comfortably wide. Still, nice effort.

55 mins – Zhirkov and Hart go to ground in a clinch as the Russian tried to keep his marker from nipping round the back. Should have been a free-kick to PNE, but then again, this is Mike Dean in charge.

57 mins – Ferguson gets his subs up and running… might be time to switch up this formation a bit though the game is more or less lost. Mike Dean waves away some mild shouts for a Chelsea penalty as one of ‘em falls in the box, but there was little contact.

PRESTON NORTH END SUBSTITUTION: Jon Parkin on, Darren “The Miss” Carter off.

60 mins – Some silky one-touch passing by Chelsea down the left with Ballack, Malouda and Zhirkov all conspiring down the wing, but Ballack can’t reach the final pass to the touchline and it rolls out for a goal-kick.

63 mins – Another corner for Chelsea, though PNE defend it properly this time. The game’s dying a slow death.

65 mins – Some promising play by PNE moving forward — the 4-4-2 has injected them with some life — but the final cross is nodded clear and the Blues break up the other end. Sturridge loops a left-footed shot around the post, and Lampard needs a substitution. Has he hurt something? Pulled something, maybe?

CHELSEA SUBSTITUTION: Frank Lampard off, Joe Cole on

68 mins – Anelka forces a low save from Lonergan, and then Ballack tests the keeper with a vicious, angled drive that requires a leap.

70 mins – Chelsea knock it around midfield comfortably. Neil Mellor warms up on the sidelines, he of the wonder goal up top. Any chance of one of those screamers today?

PRESTON NORTH END SUBSTITUTIONS: Neil Mellor on, Chris Brown off. Danny Mayor on, Chris Sedgwick off.

72 mins – Parkin is quite the lummock, isn’t he? He bashes around the Chelsea box in search of possession, but is unable to corrall the ball under control and the Blues break on. Then Youl Mawene puts his leg/hip through Yuri Zhirkov as the Russian looks for the ball near the half-way line. A bit clumsy, really.

75 mins – Nice move by Anelka, who finds room between the defenders to turn and size up a low shot that forces Lonergan low to his right. Mellor then has a crack from just inside the box but sidefoots it well past the far post.

78 mins – Paulo Ferreira really is a rubbish defender. Tons of room for Parkin to take possession and size up a shot/cross, not that he does anything with it anyway. Still, if I was Darren Ferguson, I’d have been directing my team down the left wing all game long, but hindsight is 20/20.

81 mins – Chelsea are quite content to let PNE have a few shots, comfortable as their 2-0 lead is. Parkin muscles the ball under control and has room to drift infield and shoot, but his curling, looping effort is harmlessly wide.

83 mins – Sturridge causes some panic at the other end, forcing a scramble from Lonergan to wrest it from his foot. Looked like the striker was being pulled back a bit by St. Ledger, but no whistle from Dean.

86 mins – Just blow for full-time, eh Deano? Anelka plays Joe Cole in behind the defense but the winger can’t control his shot and it’s lumped behind for a goal-kick.

88 mins – Some choreographed gesticulating from Ancelotti and Ferguson on the sideline, presumably both aggrieved at something. Anelka misses the ball at the top of the box but never fear! It runs on to Joe Cole who blasts a decent effort just over the bar.

89 mins – Wallace’s corner is solid, but Parkin can’t get a good connection and his header isn’t even close.

90 mins + 1 – The utterly crap Ferreira concedes a corner as he and Wallace race for a loose ball, but Wallace’s outswinger is below-par compared to his delivery all game long. Once more he heaves one in from the left, but it sails over his man’s head and Hilario falls on it.

90 mins + 2 – Jon Parkin is also useless. For all his might, he can’t seem to head a ball properly as Davidson’s inch-perfect cross finds the big man at the back post… but the header is nowhere near goal.

Chelsea then spend the final few seconds shooting from all angles but finding nothing but white-shirted defenders blocking the road to goal.

FULL TIME: Preston North End 0, Chelsea 2
A comfortable win for the EPL visitors when all’s said and done. They dominated possession, looked far more dangerous moving forward, and controlled play reasonably well. Ferguson’s lads had scoring chances here and there and will rue what could have been if Carter had equalized before the break. Thanks for following along… now go join the bootroom that’s going live in a minute!