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January 29, 2010

John Terry is NOT A Good Teammate!

They're not laughing now, I can guarantee you that!

News of a footballer’s sexual indiscretions or infidelity is no longer very surprising (n’est-ce pas, Cashley?), so you might wonder why we would bother with yet another example. After all, we’re not turning into TMZ Sports here, are we?

But when certain things occur between players who are former clubmates and current national side teammates, that’s certainly deserving of some clarification. After all, at least Fritz Peterson knew what he was getting into.


Last Friday the English media were in a tizzy when High Court Justice Tugendhat granted a super-injunction which: (1) prevented tabloids from releasing the details of an alleged affair carried on by a married footballer; and (2) was so secret that the existence of the injunction itself was not allowed to be confirmed. The England international had convinced the court that releasing the details of this affair would constitute a breach of his “right to a private and family life” and the resulting gag order was seen by the press as the latest act of censorship. Apparently, much of the case law regarding this type of matter stems from the decisions of High Court Justice Eady, who presided over the Max Mosley nazi orgy case, as Parliament has never actually passed any laws relating to privacy rights of this nature.

This morning Justice Tugendhat lifted the super-injunction, noting that “I do not consider that an interim injunction is necessary or proportionate having regard to the level of gravity of the interference with the private life of the applicant that would occur in the event that there is a publication of the fact of the relationship, or that [the applicant] can rely in this case on the interference with the private life of anyone else.” I’m no expert on legal matters in the UK, but that sounds confusing as all get-out. It seems that the heart of the situation is that details of the super-injunction were being leaked, so the High Court potentially lifted it in order to appear more friendly to the British press.

Regardless of Justice Tugendhat’s reasons for his 180-degree turn, the meat of the matter is that John Terry was revealed as the footballer who had asked for the super-injunction. So, we have: (1) a super-injunction granted to an England international by a High Court Justice; (2) a super-injunction lifted by a High Court Justice; and (3) John Terry, an England international, identified as the individual who had requested the latter. I put 1+1+1 together and came up with 3, i.e. John Terry had an extra-marital affair with the paramour of a teammate (as described in the first injunction).

The professional journalists over at the Telegraph came to the same conclusion, finding that the details of the injunction described a long-term extra-marital affair between John Terry and Vanessa Perroncel, who just happened to be the girlfriend of Chelsea and England teammate Wayne Bridge.

Hmmm. John or Wayne tonight?

The French underwear model (see above – what are you, blind!?!) had a long-term relationship with Bridge, with whom she had a son in November 2006. Earlier that year, Terry’s fiancee Toni Poole had given birth to their twins, and the two were married (Terry and Poole, not the twins) in June 2007. Then in January of 2009 Bridge made the move from Chelsea to Manchester Arabia, and he and Perroncel remained together until their split in December 2009. At some point in that timeline, Terry began having sexual relations with Ms. Perroncel, and considering the likelihood that it would take longer than a month (this being January of 2010) for something of this nature to get out, it is quite possible that the affair began before Bridge and Vanessa had ended their relationship.

So, to recap, England’s Brave John Terry went about things in this order: (1) have twins with fiancee; (2) marry fiancee; (3) wish BFF Wayne Bridge well with his new club while maintaining jolly atmosphere during England training; (4) begin boffing BFF’s girlfriend; and (5) presumably provide solace, with wife, to BFF when Bridge and Perroncel break up.

I’m thinking that Terry’s future involves: (6) get punched in the mouth by former BFF during next England training/match; and (7) get stripped of the England captaincy for disrupting the team.



About the Author

The NY Kid





17 Comments


  1. Blue Is the Color

    I doubt 7 happens, you know how the French love to cheat. Bridge should’ve seen it “coming.” England Captain or Cup competition sub?


  2. Georger

    Considering they thought about giving the armband to Rio, I seriously doubt seven happens.

    So he’s the Stringer Bell of soccer. I hated Stringer Bell.


  3. hadley

    (6) won’t happen because Capello isn’t picking Bridge.

    String was the man, Georger. You take than back!


  4. Georger

    String wasn’t true to himself, he kept playing away games, he needed to die.


  5. Goat

    They’re both ugly as hell. The real injustice is that either of them could land a French underwear model.


  6. phil

    Stringer Bell was a bitch.

    Pavlyuchenko and/or his people have tanked a proposed move to B’ham City, and Lokomotiv Moscow are prepping a bid. Why Spurs continue to accommodate this lazy lout is beyond me.


  7. phil

    Once again, Goat FTW.


  8. Wedel

    First, am I the only one who finds the judge’s name humorous? Tug-end-hat? If so, then hahaha. (If not, then be advised that due to the unfreezing process I have no inner monologue.)

    Second, we may be missing the larger point: Wayne Bridge caught that? Really?


  9. phil

    If my girlfriend was boffing an ugly brute like John Terry, I might give serious thought to punching her before I punched Terry.

    /not okay with violence against women
    //prepares flame-retardant suit anyway


  10. Autoglass

    BFF? Where’d you get that? Because they are teammates?

    Anyhoo, EBJT simply explained to Vanessa what has been clear to everyone else (including Capello as mentioned above) for a while now, Wayne Bridge just ain’t world class, is he?


  11. phil

    @Wedel: I’ve decided when Eddie Murphy said “sing” he meant “play football.”


  12. Wedel

    @phil: So true. Making it all the more unfortunate for me that I can neither sing, nor play football with anything that could be described as “skill.”

    @Paul: I’ve never described it as a hat for the tugend, but then, I never knew this judge’s name.


  13. Ryan

    I didn’t realize Chelski played Burnley tomorrow. After the reception they gave Coyle, I can’t wait to see what they have in store for EBJT.


  14. Seks Fibreglass

    You forgot (8): Mrs. Terry gets Mrs. Woods divorce lawyer’s number so he can add a few zeros to her account. Quite a few zeros.

    Now if we can find the twink whose been blowing Gerrard, it could be an amazing start to 2010.


  15. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Unprofessional Foul, Richard O'Shaugh and Mike Georger, Adam Styles. Adam Styles said: Terry Should Be Stripped Of The England Captaincy http://unprofessionalfoul.com/2010/01/29/john-terry-is-not-a-good-teammate/ [...]


  16. fortune

    Should this then be enough reason for wayne to quit the world cup in south africa? Vanessa Perroncel is not the only BITCH around.

    i think 6 and 7 should be suspended.



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