Portsmouth Has A Dirty Uncle

Careful Avram… Your Wife Might Well Be Having Those For Breakfast

When you make jokes about sleazy family members, they invariably involve Uncles. Dirty Uncles are a comedy staple, and yet, the only Uncle not currently laughing is current Pompey manager Uncle Avram Grant.No doubt inspired by the court’s decision to overturn the News Of The World‘s gag order regarding John Terry’s private life, sister tabloid The Sun revealed that the EPL boss caught exiting a brothel a couple of months ago was indeed the dour ex-Chelsea boss.

Hampshire police have been investigating the brothel in Horton Heath — funnily enough, the rub n’ tug parlour is in Southampton, better known as the city that is home to Pompey’s biggest, most hated rival — since the incident in December, and while it’s unclear as to what criminal charges Avram could face for his extra-curricular activities, he certainly has some explaining to do to his wife of 16 years, actress (and urine-drinker) Tzofit Grant.

So… what’s next? The tabloids will be feeling pretty good about themselves after John Terry’s failed superinjunction, emboldened ever more to splash gaudy heresay across their front and back pages. When that happens, we’re all winners.