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March 30, 2010

Maradona Faces the Hand (Paw) of Dog

I am 99% certain this is Maradona’s dog.

Diego Maradona never ceases to amaze us, and his latest exploits are equally strange. We all know that the madman has had extensive problems with drugs and his weight, and that he has faced FIFA sanctions for his clownish behavior on the touchline.

This time his troubles come in the form of a household pet, as the Albiceleste manager was bitten on the face by his own dog early Tuesday morning. One presumes that the Shar Pei was a little too excited about licking excess cocaine off the fat Argentine’s face, and when Diego refused to share the natural reaction was to bite his lip. Literally.


The 49 year-old (Maradona, not the dog) was taken to nearby Los Arcos clinic in Buenos Aires where he had emergency surgery to repair his upper lip. Reports note that he was bleeding heavily from the lip when he arrived at the clinic with his girlfriend (again, presumably different from the dog) and was immediately evaluated by plastic surgeons.

This is the same clinic where the manager was treated in 2007 for toxic hepatitis due to his drinking, although it is not clear if it is the same medical center that responded to his cocaine-induced heart problems in 2000 a few years after his retirement from international football.

Argentina national team spokesman Fernando Molina has stated that Maradona is in good spirits, and will be released from Los Arcos later today.



About the Author

The NY Kid





9 Comments


  1. Norfolk Ned

    I love this dog!


  2. bergkampesdios

    Who gets their ass kicked by a shar pei?


  3. ebullientfatalist

    Maradona, apparently.

    The Fat Argentine. It’s so simple a moniker, it’s brilliant.


  4. Anonsters

    This post appropriately places the blame on the non-dog participant in this fracas.


  5. Georger

    Gary Busey sold his dog to Maradona?


  6. I hear the dog is in strong contention to take Mascherano’s starting place in South Africa. Diego like’s the “bite” in his tackle


  7. Norfolk Ned

    The teeth of God. I’m going to adopt this beautiful dog.


  8. Johnny1987

    Wow. Get over it. it was 24 years ago. We still had the better team (see the goal from minutes after). Everytime theres somehting about Maradona, hes a fat coke head. How much you want to bet big Rooney would spank Maradon in a pie eating contrest?

    ARGENTINA
    ARGENTINA
    ARGENTINA


  9. [...] Maradona Faces the Hand (Paw) of Dog | Unprofessional FoulI remember when I was a grade schooler, one of the popular TV shows was “Sergeant Preston of the Yukon.” This was about a Monty and his Husky sled dog King. They gave away square inches of the Yukon with a coupon on a box of Quaker Oats. [...]



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