Pain.
In which we discuss handballs, handbags, and high praise for New Zealand…
Fear. The. Kiwis. (by Precious Roy)
I think we already knew that an over-matched team can thwart a superior opponent by staying organized at the back (tactics win again!). But when the gap in quality between the teams is truly massive, it’s usually only a means to simply delaying the inevitable.
Not today. Today we learned that 10 guys in white shirts (keeper Paston was decked out in green) can will themselves to a result they have no business getting (and just to remind you, we kinda sorta almost called it).
Ranked 80-something entering South Africa 2010, the Kiwis were likely penciled in as three easy points by each of their opponents the moment the draw was completed. And for good reason; in last year’s Confederations Cup dress rehearsal, New Zealand went 0-1-2 with a -7 goal difference. They managed a scoreless draw against an Iraqi side that was just a couple of months short of getting its FA suspended by FIFA. That was the highlight. The lowlight was conceding a hat trick to Fernando Torres inside of about 25 minutes in a 5-0 pasting by Spain.
But about a month ago, Rikki Herbert made a bold decision to flank captain Ryan Nelsen with two kids who combined had a handful of caps between them entering the World Cup. And they have been better than serviceable. It mightn’t always look pretty. But New Zealand almost drew with the Aussies and beat Serbia in tune-ups. Neither was particularly fluky. Did nobody notice?
Add a couple of very opportunistic moments in front of goal, a keeper who played up to every bit of his ability, and New Zealand are sitting on two points after two matches. They are tied with Italy in the standings and still have a shot at making the knock out rounds. It seems… un-possible!
Even better, it’s not enough for them. In his post-game comments, Nelsen mentioned they should have had all three points as De Rossi’s penalty shout was a straight-up dive.
You can’t like New Zealand’s chances as they have to play a Paraguayan side who know with a win they avoid the Dutch. But they had no chance of being where they are right now. If you were dumb and brave enough to bet on the All Whites, you deserve every penny that might come to you.
Brazil Shine, The Elephants Whine
I always expected this game to be a blow-out, and it turned out to be just that. The Ivorians hustled and bustled but their defensive failings, due in part to having an overabundance of midfielders who love to get forward, proved to be meat and drink for the Selecao. What we didn’t expect, perhaps, was the overwhelming amount of handbags in the second half, and that none of it really involved the sulk-prone Didier Drogba.
Kaka didn’t behave brilliantly in the simmering heat of the final 20 minutes, but we give special disdain to Abdulkader Keita, whose theatrics that led to Kaka’s second yellow card were downright abominable. We get that you’re frustrated by Brazil and their quick passing and stylish counterattacks, but Keita’s dive has no place in the game. It was reminiscent of Rivaldo’s ugly faux fall that got Hakan Unsal sent off in 2002 — for those who don’t remember: Unsal kicked the ball to Rivaldo so he could take a corner, the ball hits Rivaldo’s shin, and he falls clutching his face like birds had just pecked his eyes from their sockets.
When will this s**t be caught out as being bulls**t? Do the linesmen not see such staged infringements? Then again, maybe that’s where we place the bulk of the blame. Keita’s flop was outrageous, but the referee’s attempt to restore order by flashing cards like a Vegas blackjack dealer was equally stupid.
And so, Brazil march on to the Round of 16, though without Kaka for the Portugal game next week. Dunga’s right to be furious.
Referees Are Starting To Suck
Gamesmanship will always be a bugbear of the game, but we’re seeing refs losing their patience a little in the Cup’s second week after an exemplary opening.
There was Coulibaly on Friday, Undiano too, then today we see Italy winning their equalizing penalty via a particularly egregious dive from Daniele De Rossi. It wasn’t even his first of the competition, but Carlos Batres missed it completely. Finally, we had Luis Fabiano’s second goal against Ivory Coast that involved at least two little nudges from the upper arm before his decisive strike. Stephane Lannoy not only missed them, as did his crew, but he took a moment to share a laugh or two with the Selecao frontman on their way back to restart the game.
Yuk it up with aplomb, Stephane, provided you get the calls right. Fraternization gets in the way of a good job.
Yeah, the replay of the ref touching his arm was strange at best
Ya i still can’t even begin to guess what he meant by that.
Kader Keita’s face clutching antics were shameful. But Kaka straight up elbowed the dude in the chest. It was dirty and petulant and he deserved the card.
_
I also learned that Domenech can “go to f**k himself, you son of a bitch.” Thanks ESPN!
@LE: Seriously? The guy ran straight at him from like 10 yards away, and Kaka put up his arm/shoulder to not be run over, then the guy flopped like he’d been knifed…I see a guy “bracing” himself, not a guy pointing his elbow out at someone coming into him…
I definitely saw elbow thrustage from kaka as keita ran towards him. There was no outstretched arm to hold him back, he tucked his elbow and cracked him in the chest. Regardless of kk’s absurd overreaction.
@LE: guess I just saw it differently. Regardless, Keita’s reaction was indefensible, and needs to be RC’d after review. (which will happen about the same time I die)
@jj: on that point we can certainly agree. Even Drogba thinks his teammate is a f*cking disgrace.
I just don’t understand why Keita clutched his nose instead of his chest.
Listening to the Guardian podcast, Amy Lawrence makes the point that she feels bad for Ivory Coast. Do any of you?
They hired Sven for goodness sakes, and refused to really play for a win against Portugal. I get that they’ve kind of gotten boned with their draw in the last two World Cups, but their lack of success has to come down to a lot more than that right?
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As for the Kaka thing, I kind of go back and forth. I think a straight red would have been ridiculous, but I can see the merits of a yellow. In my view of it, there really wasn’t a need for Kaka to stick his elbow out, could have stuck out a hand, or just walked away from the situation.
Note: and that’s presuming that “I die” is like 40+ years from now (your mileage may vary)
I’m withholding comment on the Kaka debacle until ESPN3 puts the game on their f**king website at like 2 am, so I can see it again.
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I really hope North Korea take a giant dump on Portugal tomorrow.
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I learned today that I am capable of sleeping massive amounts. Yes, I just woke up from my post-Brazil nap.
hell no, i don’t feel bad for the Ivory Coast. they got frustrated when Brazil were soundly controlling the game and started to get aggressive and foul-happy. they pretty much provoked the sending off of Kaka, and that flop-to-hands-in-face deserves nothing but contempt.
and for the record, f**k Sven Goran Eriksson in the face.
@Anonsters
I agree i.e North Korea s**tting on Portugal. And by Portugal, I mean Cristiano Ronaldo.
@Goosie: Precisely.
WE WUZ ROBBED!!!
so were the Kiwis, I think. mostly I learned that ivory coast are truly a lot of hype, no substance
was watching the game live. not only did keita act like the littlest 13 year old girl but he went in studs up twice in the 2nd half. he injured elano and layed out michel bastos on top of his sad theartical display. on top of that ivory coast came out after half time and still hadnt decided to get in the game. brazil was controlling the ball just past midfield and noone on the i.c. was chasing the ball or closing anyone down they were just standing around and walking and they did so until fabiano scored the 2nd. brazil’s third goal was just a thing of beauty though, how kaka was able to see elano would run onto that ball was impressive, it was the first time ive seen kaka do anything impressive in a long time
I’m am still almost as angry about the no-call on the double handball followed by the ref touching his arm and laughing it up with Luis Fabiano as they jogged back to the center circle as I was this long after the Koman call.
It was a 1-0 game at that point with Ivory Coast playing well enough to still be in it. But there’s a double handball and the ref looks like he’s joking that he let it go? That’s f**king crazy. Shit, they’re already Brazil, now you’re going to let them cheat?
@Precious Roy
I know, right! Awful.
That ref yukking it up with Fabiano is about as egregious and indefensible as Keita’s behavior in the second half today. FIFA seems to have rounded up quite the clown patrol to officiate this World Cup. We worried Webb would stick out like a sore thumb; now it appears he’ll fight right in with rest of this dreck.
“fight” = “fit”
phil = drunk
I thought the Kaka card was deserved. I saw thrustage.
What have we learned? FIFA fair play applies not to referees but to poor players only. Referees performance in this 2010 WC is abysmall
Frank de Bleeckere for US-Algeria, just announced.
“Referees performance in this 2010 WC is abysmall”
We’ve actually had mostly good performances in this World Cup, it’s much better than 4 years ago and better than 8 years ago. There’s improvement on everything as far as I can see. I guess some people are just short sighted.