Huh?
Mountain Wag is currently over in Paris enjoying the World Cup and taking in the sites of the FIFA Fan Zone with her clan. She’s filing regular dispatches.
Pizza Hut thinks all French futbol fans are idiots. And really, could we come to any other conclusion after seeing this?
There I was, minding my own business on the way to the Louvre this morning when I abruptly stopped to see why Thierry Henry was so angry… I mean, it’s just not like him.
Then I realized he was mad because his head had been photoshopped onto a body three sizes too small (much like the grinch and his heart).
Sadly, it also happened to Drogba (who normally has much broader shoulders and larger pecs). Frank Lampard’s head was put on a teenage boy’s body while it seems Messi, Kaka, and Torres have yet to sprout a chest hair between them.
Most shocking, the Magic Pixie had his head put on a teenage girl’s body, which henceforth necessitated the crossed arms (to hide the pre-pubescent nipples). It’s no wonder he looks the saddest of the bunch; even that would outweigh the fact that he’s the only one not actually in South Africa at the moment.
So I ask you this, Pizza Hut and Pepsi – really? If you can afford the licensing rights to use these players head shots/facial images, can you spring the extra €100 each and buy their proper (current) upper bodies or hire someone other than a 5th grader to do your Photoshop work? (I’m available, FYI)
It is a goddamn waste to have all these shirtless men on the back of scooters, buzzing around Paris, when they’re not turning on women with their bodies and luring them with subliminal pizza messages (or urging men to eat pizza and win a trip to the WC, of course). Get it right next time!
“while it seems Messi, Kaka, and Torres have yet to sprout a chest hair between them.”
_
You sure they photoshopped that?
yes. I’ve spend enough time looking at all of them shirtless to know better (well, except for Messi. The mullet doesn’t do anything for me).