No, Pants, Like These
England were not just robbed by a useless referee and a moronic linesman in South Africa, but also by hotel workers at their training camp.
Workers at the Royal Bafokeng complex were sentenced to three years in prison today for stealing from the England squad. “Five cleaners… have been jailed for three years for stealing underwear from the players. The defendants were also convicted of taking a USA shirt that an England player received after the teams’ group match and a medal awarded by FIFA.”
Okay, a medal? What is this Little League baseball? Good to see that the self-esteem movement has even reached the highest eschelons of world sport. Congrats England, you got a medal. Now hand over your pants.
Also, three years? And they’ve already been sentenced? Wow. South Africa, your midfiled might be slow, but your justice is swift.
According to police spokeswoman Junior Metsi the case was solved within a day after the homes of hotel staff were searched. The five hotel workers were convicted the next day in a special World Cup court the country had set up.
The robbed players were not identified, but Frank Lampard is scheduling a news conference. Zing! Police did note that all of the items had been returned.
Having been robbed probably only worsened an experience at the Royal Bafokeng Sports Complex where England players were “locked up like animals” (warning: there’s an autoplay ad on the front of that vid)… very well paid animals in super-swanky digs. The horror. The horror.
3 years for a panty raid? That’s pretty harsh.
Also, Special World Cup court? That does not sound like part of a reasonable criminal justice system.
Yeah, that seems a bit severe. Maybe it was just someone with a weird underwear fetish.
The thieves should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for stealing England’s “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me” medals.
three years is madd harsh. the only thing that if it happened to me that id be pissed about is the stealing of the game worn USMNT players shirt. the player who had it obviously was impressed by teh way the player who swapped shirts with played and the exchanging of shirts is just another of the really cool things in football. im happy teh player who had it stolen got it back