So Yeah, We Saw The Red Bulls Last Night

And what a blur it was. From the beers to the other stuff to the stumbling around in a haze, Spurs came to town and

Warm-ups!

underwhelmed, as is customary for teams still enjoying summer break.

The Red Bulls were their usual streaky selves, too, stringing together passes and attacks with ease at times, only to give the casual fan the impression that they’d never played soccer before for most of the second half.

My thoughts? It was a nice evening out, despite the fact that I couldn’t quite get into the game. As such, I consoled myself by chastising Alan Hutton every time his lumpen legs deigned to corral the ball.

The other Spurs player who irritated me was Adel Taarabt. Loved to take players on, but never ever passed the ball. Seeing someone with such preternatural skill operate so selfishly on the pitch is a major pet peeve.

Beyond that, it was a markedly even game, though the RBNY effort became a lot less menacing once Henry departed. He’ll be a major inspiration for another veteran like Angel, who will be much better at reading the Frenchman’s deft dummies, flick-ons and passing than someone as eager and directionless as Mac Kandji.

Some thoughts from the gang after the jump. And lots more laughter at Alan Hutton’s expense.

The Likely Lad Gets His “Salt Of The Earth” Spurs Experience
It’s 12:13 pm Friday and I’ve been up for a full hour now. (If you don’t count the 34-second phone conversation I had with the Likely Lass this morning at nine o’clock sharp, in which I was informed she would not, after all, be getting a haircut today.)

The game in itself was nothing special. Spurs played like a bunch of guys on a summer vacation tour of the States. The Red Bulls played like the Red Bulls, but with a dollop of class up top. Henry, aka Titty, was always going to score that first goal. And it only took him three wide open chances.

This was my first visit to Red Bull Arena and as odd as the building looks from the outside, and as annoying as the DJ (“Saaaay Let’s Gooo Red Bulls!”) was blaring over the loudspeakers into the Beer Cage err Garden, that’s how beautiful the place is from inside. Just the right number of seats. Brilliant sight lines. The video boards could’ve been bigger, but they were sizable enough; we could see all the replays. Credit to NYRB for showing all the relevant plays and not white-washing Henry’s heinous early miss.

Spurs Section Belts Out The Classics

We spent the second half in the Spurs Supporters section. It was in the upper corner of the Arena, but again, a superb view. Great spirit, too. We sang all the songs and got to chat with Spurs fans from all walks.

I particularly enjoyed the folks with the big Sarge (Wilson Palacios) banner. Almost as many Honduras shirts as Croatia in the Yid ghetto.

My only real complaint with the “match day experience” was the transit set-up. It’s a simple issue: The entry port to the PATH train home is incredibly narrow. Makes for a bottle-neck backup at the end of the match and an hour-long line. We eschewed the wait and thought it best to outlast the crowd by heading to a nearby pub.

It gets a bit hazy from there. PBR for two dollars a pop. Cheap shots. A Croatian beast offering $250 cash for my Lennon shirt. The one on my back. I demurred, and the money went right to the barkeep, who kept pouring and pouring and…

…it’s a little before 1am now. We’re on line for the drive-thru at the Wendy’s across the street. We did not drive. They took pity and served us. Pretty sure I had the #6 – Spicy chicken sandwich meal. Burned my tongue, it would seem.

By 2 am we were on the PATH (approx. wait time: Zero mins.) and on our way out of godforsaken New Jersey. But not before one more round of When the Spurs Go Marching In…

Norfolk Neds Breaks Down The Bulls
I was disappointed that Spurs played just 5 real first teamers last night and it wasn’t the greatest of games, but it did bring one stark reality to Red Bulls fans: even having Thiery Henry in the side doesn’t stop Chris Albright from sucking with a level of suckitude that cannot be topped by any other right back on earth (except Alan Hutton). Yep, Chris Albright, the man who thinks he’s a center back and drifts into the middle leaving the entire right side open for attack, space that Gareth Bale enjoyed time and time again. But it didn’t really matter, as Bale just breezed past Albright even when he was there.

Henry eased his way into the game and looked a little nervous early on. He did, however, draw on all of his experience to stab home the goal, which was a crafty effort that snuck into the bottom right corner. Bit of a s**te move to only give him 45 minutes, the 16k in attendance bothered to roll out just for him–I mean, why else would you go to Jersey on a Thursday night?

Tottenham were not entirely interested in playing NY, and it showed, but it was a good exercise for the Bulls as Conor Chinn got some playing time and Mac Kandji showed what a nuisance he can be when he puts in the effort.

I have to say, I did enjoy shouting abuse at Alan Hutton. I have no idea why I hate him so much! He is s**t, but that’s not the reason. Anyway, I reminded him that he will be rotting in the reserves again this term and he turned around and gave me a sneer. But that wasn’t nearly half as entertaining as the drunk Gooner who got to him at the end of the game, Hutton threw the ball at the guy and they had words as the ref blew the whistle and decided that injury/substitution time was not important.

Alan Hutton's Nemesis

Ratings:
3 out of 5 stars for Henry.
3 giant turds in a bag on Backe’s doorstep for Allbright.
10 out of 10 to Mac Kandji for showing up (and at one point skinning the Spurs defence with a lovely turn)
5 hearty laughs at Alan Hutton for being rubbish, and at the thought he will be playing on Wednesday mornings at places like Dagenham for Spurs reserves this season.
10 big stars for Joel Lindpere, man of the match, he even played up front for a bit with great effect when Henry went off.

Spectator Caps His Evening
I arrived at the stadium quite early to pick up my press pass. Thanks to the Red Bulls for hooking up us bloggers.  But, at the risk of never getting another press pass again, I have to say that getting into the press box before the game was perhaps the most boring experience of my entire life. Around 100 journos from various corners of the globe pecking away at their keyboards and waiting for the food service table to open. And once it did open, they were charging $5 a person. Lame. I wound up standing outside in the press section of the stadium and watched the various camera people set up, including the local Spanish television station. I saw Hans Backe arrive, but otherwise there was literally nothing to see. I mean, like, literally nothing.

So it was back out to the beer parking lot, I mean the beer garden to meet up with the rest of the UF crew and the mustachioed man Dave Hirshey. On the way out, I happened to see Thierry Henry’s arrival at the stadium.  Supposedly he took the PATH train from the city. He was mobbed by various fans, and a few hilarious Spurs supporters shouted, “F**k you.” Hilarious!! Pregame we had a kick about in the parking lot, and luckily this time there were no barbeques for the Likely Lad to knock over.

Last night was indeed Thierry Henry’s debut with the New York Red Bulls. As I suspected, even with aging legs, he is right now the most talented player in the league. That simple goal he scored said it all really. Just the kind of brilliant tap-in that he’s done hundreds of times before. I predict he’ll average at least a goal a game during his time with MLS. I can’t wait to see him playing 90 minutes in real competition. Also, as much as I hate him personally, I think Marquez would be a great addition to the Red Bulls. They desperately need someone to sort out that backline.

I have to say that watching football with Norfolk Ned is fun… Although it was fairly obvious, he did indeed point out that Albright was all out position on the right flank. It’s amazing that Gareth Bale didn’t have three goals all to himself, but for the fact that the Spurs midfielders never passed him the ball. Otherwise, it was a bit of a drab friendly match, with Spurs being only slightly less s**t than the Red Bulls. Those two goals that Spurs scored are really nothing to be too proud about.  On the other side, Joel Lindpere continues to be our favorite player.  He does all the hard work in the midfield and seemed to be the only player on the pitch to really care about the result.  Lindpere, Marquez, Henry and Angel will be a truly formidable center of the lineup.

My favorite moment of last night was when Ned yelled to Alan Hutton (who has a giant Mr. Potato Head for a melon), “You’re always going to be in the reserves” and Hutton turned around with a sneer. Then at the end of the game, the guy in the Arsenal shirt was giving Hutton yet more grief, Hutton turned around and threw the ball at him.  Later, the same guy got almost got into a fight with a Spurs supporter.  This was all the more hilarious because the Spurs supporter was well into his 50s, and the entire time his wife was yelling at him to knock it off (in the same voice that she probably uses to tell him to take out the garbage).

I will point out that I saw a ton of Arsenal jerseys at the game, which is astonishing when you consider that Arsenal have never played in the United States (at least not in recent memory) and Spurs were in town. Just goes to show you the global reach of the best team in North London and Thierry Henry. At least Spurs will have the delusion of Champions League football, that is until they lose to Anderlecht in the play-in game in a few weeks.

As for the Red Bulls, we are indeed converting people to come to the new stadium. Last night Ned brought a couple of friends who seemed impressed, and I’ve heard from several other friends who want to check it out as well. If the Red Bulls can satisfy us curmudgeons, than surely everyone in the New York City area should make the trek as well.  I mean, it’s real life football, here in New Jersey, and now with worldwide superstars to boot!