Does an Octopus need a limo?
And no, we’re not referring to good ol’ Huh Bob Bradley, he of the stony visage and unflinching thousand-yard stare. Instead, we’re looking at a Chinese movie producer and his announcement that production on The Murder of Paul the Octopus has wrapped.
That’s right, folks: in true Who Shot Mr. Burns? style, that cephalopod is getting the big screen treatment (though he may not want to watch it himself based on the title alone).
Take it away, Guardian: The film, a co-production between China Film Group Corporation and Beijing Filmblog Media Company, was shot over the past few weeks in South Africa using a body double, owing to the indisposition of the real Paul, who has gone into retirement. Release is scheduled for August. According to Sky News, the film’s makers have focused on Paul’s remarkable winning streak and explore “how the octopus acquires the ability and discuss his possible fates”.
I’m guessing he gets bitten by a special spider, or has a big inheritance from his dead parents for some shiny toys, or he’s from the Planet Krypton… seriously though, just how long a movie can this be?
Poor Paul doesn’t stand a chance…
We live in a world where everyone’s looking for ways to extend their 15 minutes, or profit off the quarter-hour enjoyed by some unwitting oceanic creature. This kind of “enterprise” should come as no shock to the system, but it does. I mean, I sat through an episode of The Real World: New Orleans recently, but that doesn’t mean I’d sit for 90 minutes to view the fictional story of an octopus who gives accurate World Cup predictions. If I had 90 minutes to waste, I’d watch the wreck that is my beloved Liverpool, fumbling through games with all the style of a high school nerd about to lose his virginity.
Then again, perhaps watching the grisly death of a octopus is preferable. It can’t be any worse than When In Rome.
