Man U hoping for none of this tonight
Welcome to tonight’s liveblog of the MLS All Star Game. This year’s extravaganza, held in Reliant Stadium in Houston instead of the typical MLS park, features the best of the MLS against mighty Manchester United. United, though, are coming off a putrid loss to Kansas City over the weekend which featured a fair number of second tier and reserve players. Given how the MLS guys have usually performed in past editions of this game, you would have to put them as slight favorites to edge an uninterested United side.
Other points of interest while we watch pregame blather:
Sir Alex has been running his mouth over Bob Bradley’s greatness.
New Manchester United signing Chicharito is going to play his first game for his new club in front of what will likely be a fairly pro El Tri crowd.
Landon Donovan played last night in LA’s disappointing loss to Puerto Rico of the USL in the CONCACAF Champions League. How much will he feature in tonight’s game?
A note from some Adidas PR hack: “For the 2010 MLS All-Star game on July 28 at Houston’s Reliant Stadium, Javier Morales of Real Salt Lake, Juan Pablo Angel of the New York Red Bulls and Omar Gonzalez of the LA Galaxy have customized their adidas boots…….” ZZZZZzzzz
Ok, I have my #11 Thierry Red Bulls jersey on and the Radeberger is flowing. Lets get it on.
Wahl tweets the MLS starters: Ricketts; Alston, Olave, Marshall, Pearce; Joseph; Le Toux, Morales, Schelotto, Pappa; Ángel. A 4-1-4-1 in an all star game?
F**k. Foudy, Stone, and Lalas. I’m off to hang myself.
Man U: Van der Sar; Rafael, Brown, Evans, Fabio; O’Shea; Nani, Fletcher, Giggs; Obertan, Macheda. Yeah, this isn’t exactly star studded. Nice job of guaranteeing the stars would show, Garber.
And hey look, RBNY still in 2nd in the East!
Ugh. Ian Darke and Martin Tyler are not going to save us tonight.
I take back everything I said about ESPN getting serious about soccer during the World Cup. 4.5 seconds from going to univison.
Landon looks worked. I think he’s coming on in the 80th tonight, if that. And he gives a bulls**t answer to the transfer question. Media Training pays off.
Deep breaths everyone, we appear to have survived the pregame show.
Holy Christ Harkes, Heath Pierce is not going to Brazil in four years (except on vacation).
My cable box just crashed and is rebooting. Just imagine the action.
F**K. 1-0 Man U on a goal by ???
5th minute: Ok we are back. United are in the traditional red strip going to the right, while MLS are wearing the weird Dynamo thingy and attacking to the right.
6th minute: Another near f**kup leading to the goal by Ricketts on a backpass.
8th minute: JPA already in his usual Red Bulls chicken jog.
9th minute: United counter and Nani nearly plays a perfect throughball but Joeseph gets there. The ball is cleared and United attack again from the right through Obertan, but the ball is cleared downfield.
11th minute: Nani corrals a brilliant crossfield pass, but his ball into the boz is cleared out for a corner. The corner is to the back post, but is headed wide by Wes Brown, and apparently for another corner. This one is perfect from Nani, and Macheda is all alone in the box to head it home. 2-0 United. James, your boy Le Toux was at fault there.
14th minute: MLS are all at sea here, as Pierce gets skinned down the right. Then Giggs comes in with a lusty callange on Schelloto. He gets a talking to. Angel puts the ensuing free kick right over the wall but Van Der Saar tips it over. I saw him score from there against Houston in the 90th earlier this year. The corner comes in but Van Der Saar gets it. Then Alston comes in with a bad tackle. No cards yet.
17th minute: Nani comes in on the right again, and Alstom clears it for a corner. The MLS defense actually clears it this time, and attempts to counter.
20th minute: A free kick from about 50 yards out is hoofed into the box, but VDS gets it. Nani then does his best C Ronaldo impression down the left flank, and gets called for a foul. The apparently Man U partisan crowd boos.
22 minute: Substitution. Obertan is coming out for Cleverly thanks to an earlier oafish tackle. Maybe the one from Olave earlier.
24 minute: Le Toux with a nice ball wide to Pierce, who attempts a ball on the ground to JPA in the box. The ensuing corner leads to a shot deep from Marshall after a pass from Schelloto. The next corner is punched wide by VDS. Nani counters but the move leads to not.
27th minute: A scrum at the edge of the box and the ball squeaks wide to Schelloto, but his shot is right at Van Der Saar at the near post.
29th minute: JPA just misses a nice throughball. The MLS is bossing the midfield a bit more now, while United look to work the counter at every opportunity.
32nd minute: Nani tweaks his knee after getting caught late in possession. He comes off and the Drunk Scot yells at him.
33rd minute: Schelloto has tried a couple of speculative shots lately. This one leads to a corner, which the ex Boca man takes himself. The ball comes to Papa, who can’t do much with it.
36th minute: JP and Harkes get bored and start speculating on MLS transfers. Sounds like Marquez is a done deal. MEanwhile, Le Toux chases a ball down the left, but isn’t quite fast enough. Goal Kick.
37th minute: Ohhhhhh. A nice ball from Giggs to Macheda and he nearly gets a third. But the ref calls offside. Dubious call. And Marshall was no where to be found on that one.
39th minute: This has been fairly dire stuff, really, although MLS has done a little better in the last twenty minutes or so. Harkes says that the young players want to “Show Sir Alex what they are all about.” So far, not much, although Macheda looks useful enough. Giggs sprays a ball to the left to Nani, and Alston just manages to clear it out.
41st minute: Comical defending from the MLS. Fletcher does a schoolboy give and go and is alone on Ricketts but he puts the shot off the bar.
43rd minute: The MLS is not as good on corners as Man U. Marshall attempts to make amends by getting to a header, but it goes wide.
45th minute: I hope Ching comes on a scores a brace. Ned’s head might explode. The ref blows the whistle, and thankfully we are done with the first half.
46th minute: Ching is in as we kick off the second half. There might have been some other changes but I can’t figure them all out. Rimando is in goal and Gonzalez is in the backline. Did he play all 90 last night?
48th minute: A free kick from Morales from 25 yards out leads to chaos in the United box, but the chance comes to naught. Another free kick from nearly the same spot leads to a free header from Marshall who wastes his second free header of the evening.
51st minute: More mls pressure here, interspersed with Nani. Lots of Nani. He’s like a 90% replica of Ronaldo run through the copy machine a few times.
53rd minute: Substitution. Giggs off Gibson on. SAF at least has the class to let Giggs have an ovation on his departure. Keeper to Keeper here, as the game slows down a bit.
57th minute: Standing around. Fabio comes off with a cramp. Shame as he has been decent tonight.
60th minute: Thanks James. Just opened beer #4, which helps. Chicharito is UP!
61st minute: Rafael makes me look stupid! A nice run down the right, he cuts inside and is all alone on the keeper, but hits it right at Rimando.
63rd minute: Substution. Chicharito on for Nani (a straight swap of d bags). Wellbeck for Macheda. Lets see how this strike duo does. MLS subs (but who cares?)
64th minute: GOAL! Ching! Somewhere Ned’s head just exploded. A straightforward header off a free kick from the left. The rapist f**ked that one up. Or maybe Rafael (duh!). 2-1 ManUre.
67th minute: Chicharito with his first chance. Cleverly with a cross from the right, and Chicharito comes in with his left foot, but Rimando saves with his right foot against the near post.
69th: Someone just got a card. The ensuing free kick from the top of the 18 is drilled into the top right corner by Gibson. Goal! 3-1 Man U
72nd minute: Subs. Scholes for Rafael.
73rd minute: Wondergol! Like the Ronaldo goal from South Africa. Cleverly breaks through the 18 unmarked, flicks the ball over the head of the defender, and then buries it low to the left. 4-1 Man U! Donovan is on for Pierce.
75th minute: Harkes and JP relieve World Cup glory. Landon gets about 1/5th of ovation of the little green pea on his appearance in the game.
77th minute: Stuff is happening, man. Donovan has a pop that bounces off the defender. The throw in comes to naught deep down the right for the MLS.
81st minute: Ferriera goes down in the box on what might have been a pk. Instead the free kick is given just outside the box on the left side. Davis buries it right into the wall. Poor.
83rd minute: Donovan putting on a “crocked becks on the field for ESPN ratings purposes” so far. Meanwhile, Chicharito with a cheeky chip over Rimando. 5-1 United. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
87th minute: MLS are a little unlucky that Sir Alex likely gave his side a bit of the hairdryer treatment after the loss to KC at the weekend. The gulf in class has been quite evident, and the floodgates have opened in the past twenty minutes.
89th minute: Wellbeck rolls one to the right to an onrushing Cleverly, but the ball is saved. On the other end, a cross comes into Davis, and Van Der Saar just barely keeps it from bobbling over the line.
90th minute: De Rosario! Goal! The ex Dynamo man pants Wes Brown and buries it into the left corner. 5-2.
92nd minute: Brad Davis nearly makes it 5-3 with a laser off the right post. De-fense?
Full time: Its over in Houston. Lalas once again looks like a moron for declaring that the MLS should win today. A great example of why American newspaper writers who complain that soccer isn’t high scoring enough are utter morons. 7 goals and the game was barely watchable. Thanks for hanging out everyone.
The f**king MLS has a long, long way to go. Henry can probably score in this league without the use of his hands, even.
So many “great players” on the MLS team, eh?
I think that’s less concern on Sir Alex’s face and more a look of “These MLS players are so terrible and they’re injuring my players because of it.”
Well. Apparently Sir Alex feels the same way about Nani as wacman and I do.
I think that’s less of a look of concern on SAF’s face, and more a look of “I have some blood in my alcohol stream.”
Whoa! Alex stole Ed’s pea puree!
/Top Chef’d
WTF kind of defending was that?
Ryan Giggs is the greatest and smartest left-footed person in the history of the world.
That Marco Pappa is our All-Star tells you everything you need to know about the Fire’s season.
@Josh: He’s no Gareth Bale.
/hides
@JT: Anyone who makes pea puree on a cooking competition deserves whatever happens to them.
Oh dear, Kelly’s steak was overcooked! And Tiffany’s swordfish is unique, but delicious!
Not a single comment on the best fixture of the evening? Manchester City 1 – Club America 1. Adam Johnson wins a penalty for City, converted by Adebayor. Club America equalizes after Lescott screws up. Or so I’ve heard.
@Phil
So the MLS ASG is like MLB in that they have to pick one player from every team? Or is it actually based on merit?
@Ryan
We don’t need to watch the game to assume/guess that Lescott was culpable in the opponent’s equalizer.
@JT: No home run derby in MLS, though. Boring.
Kenny’s lamb chop could have used a better starch. Meanwhile, Kevin’s lamb is way overcooked and the tomato concasse is far too strong
I don’t put this result so far down to ManUre’s “competitiveness” so much as to MLS’ pantsness.
@JT: It’s my understanding that it’s merit=based, but that there is “encouragement” from MLS that all teams be represented. Pappa has been pants most of the year, but he’s still been our best player. Bleh.
So… does Don Garber force Landon Donovan to play the second half in the hopes that some MLS credibility can be restored?
@JT WTF**k?
@Anon, My gf’s comp spazzed, so I didn’t get to reply to your comment with “Touche”
Couldn’t mute the halftime “analysis” fast enough.
@wacman
I’m liveblogging Top Chef as the MLS ASG is so dreadful
Stupid Newbie Question: How is Landon Donovan a Designated Player?
Lalas’ complexion is comical. What a ginger.
(I say that, by the way, as perhaps the whitest man in the history of white-ass dudes. I glow in the dark. But come on. Silly gingers.)
After displays like this, it’s really baffling to me how Sunil and HuhBob can cling to the myth that MLS produces competent internationals on a regular basis.
@Goosie: DP just refers to the fact that a player can be paid more than the league maximum salary. They don’t necessarily have to be a foreigner.
Man, whatever fix got put into UF today by PR, well f**king done. This site f**king hums in Firefox now.
@Goosie
The wiki does a good job explaining
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Designated_Player_Rule
–
Basically, he was one of MLS’ highest-paid players before they brought in the DP Rule, so he was kinda grandfathered in. However, they eventually put a stop to that and therefore he must be a DP.
@phil: They don’t actually believe what they’re saying, it’s like when FIFA says this past World Cup was a sell-out. They know it’s not true, they’re just hoping we don’t.
@Anon, I turned on the Indians game…..A-Roid might hit 600, therefore ruining the fact that I’m about to spend $25 on tomorrow’s game, as the Indians aren’t worth $25, let alone $5
James T, I know, but still….WHAT THE F**K?!?!? lol
@JT and Ryan: Thanks! I was under the impression that they also had to be foreigners. Makes sense.
Apropos of nothing… a dog humping an old lady! (NSFW obvs)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzmkmrt9kBk
@wacman
Hey now, I have other interests besides soccer! Love me a cooking show.
@Spectator
Oh, that’s apropos of something… your dark, depraved mind!
@spec: We’re equal opportunity humpers.
@ phil: had to step away when you asked re: Obika; do you think he’s big enough to partner Defoe with a front 2 or perhaps as a lone striker w/Lennon & Bale serving in crosses?
Man, Alex wins the challenge though some controversy abounds as many chefs think he stole Ed’s pea puree!
Now, Kevin’s in trouble for a spicy concasee, and his lamb was poorly cooked and carelessly cleaned! Andrea’s in trouble for her weird vanilla bean/mustard sauce over her swordfish.
@JT: You’re inspiring me to liveblog my reading of an article about Friedrich Hölderlin as I struggle to pay attention to this game.
Kelly’s mistakes involved over-seasoning her fish! Sloppy errors have doomed the bottom three… my money’s on Andrea to go home as she’s been in the bottom three for weeks now
Stop crying, Kelly!
—
@Anonsters
Bring it!
If I had been able, in peace and freedom, gradually to form myself at your feet into an artist, then indeed I believe I would quickly have become what in all manner of sorrow, in dreams and by bright day and often in silent despair, my heart longs for.
.
So Hölderlin wrote to his lover, after they were forced to separate, the mother of the children Hölderlin was tutoring Frankfurt.
@ JT: I follow Kelly with aggressive flavoring via salt…poor lass
CHING!!!!!!!!!!!
@Outside Mid
Thing is, she’s won a couple here and there. Has acquitted herself well. That said, I believe they judge on a week-to-week basis as opposed to an accumulative judgment.
It was only after his encounter with Susette (the woman), the Diotima of his novel and poems, that he freed himself from mimicking Schiller’s style and reverted to strictly classical forms for his poems, in particular the lyrical metres from Ancient Greek poetry, Alcaic and Asclepiadean strophe.
90% of phone voters think Alex did steal the puree! Shock!
ESPN3 is crap for City- Club America if it makes anyone feel better.
..
So long as we’re talking TV, big thumbs down to Charter for not putting White Collar and Cover Affairs from last night On Demand today.
@ ian: Gonzalez was an unused sub last night–could be why LA lost like they did…
I was right! Andrea goes home! Her food was s**te! Cue the tears, sorrowful farewell embraces in the back room, and her pre-taped long walk through a darkened kitchen.
Tomorrow, she’ll wake up at home, relieved. She simply wasn’t good enough.
—
And next week: some s**t to do with international ambassadors! Alex looks to have stolen some cooking equipment from another chef. Man, that guy is wicked. But a Marcus Samuelsson sighting! Quick edits! Everything’s happening so fast!
City-CA finishes 1-1, and bizarrely will head to penalties. There’s a trophy at stake I guess.
@ Ryan: penalties? what trophy are they playing for?
@JT I have a bit of a guilty pleasure in Gordon Ramsey. Not the shows where he yells incessantly, but the ones where he calmly tells people they’re stupid and fixes their restuarants….before leaving and letting them f**k it up all over again
That metrical choice, by the way, was a vital choice. Not just because it meant he was experimenting with meter in the way that Tennyson would, or displaying his technical virtuosity, a la Platen or Rückert. Rather, it allowed Hölderlin to raise the ode to the acme of its development in German literature.
.
No word yet on the percentage of phone voters who think anyone has ever developed the ode in German literature to a higher degree of perfection, though.
Quick, ESPN! Fellate Ryan Giggs quickly and concisely during his long jog off the pitch!
Johnny Evans… You are still a rapist.
@wacman
Yeah, Kitchen Nightmares can be good sometimes. The UK one though, as he actually fixes things. In the US version he just yells for 60 minutes
@Outside Mid: I honestly have no idea. It’s crystal and looks like a soccer ball. Upon further Googling, it’s something along the lines of the “Aaron’s Soccer Challenge.” Prestigious.
JP Dellacamawhatsit sounds bored.
@wacman: Yeah me too, although Gordo’s shtick has started to wear a little thin. I like the early English versions of Kitchen Disasters they always show on BBC America. Felt more organic, like he really was helping people turn their restaurants around.
Anytime I see the Man U GK shirt, I automatically think of Frosted Flakes…
@Ryan
Whatever it is, it sounds more prestigious than the Carling Cup.
Jonny Evans is a rapist and if you really want to get Holderlin, you need to read Heidegger and Gadamer on his work.
4-1 City on penalties. Given stops two of them.
@ Ryan: Arsenal need to sign up for that next season ASAP
@JT: Don’t slate the only trophy ‘Pool have a shot at before the season even starts.
And now switching to Padres Dodgers. My blood boils when i see Petco over run with dirty terrible Dodger fans.
Yeah, you can tell the difference based on how the voiceovers are some guy who sensationalizes everything, verses Ramsey actually explaining what he was doing. The one with Sebastian’s Pizza restaurant was HORRIBLE
Kudos to ian, btw, for doing an outstanding job on the liveblog.
Yes, ian, thanks
@phil: I’ve read everything by Gadamer I can find in English and am now moving on to the Gesammelte Werke. Gadamer = <3. Heidegger's another story.
Thanks, ian, for suffering through that dreadful affair.
Chicharito! Chalupa!
I can never get past Heidegger’s Nazism to fully appreciate his philosophical work, but I share your admiration for Gadamer. Have you read Merleau-Ponty?
Chicharito!!! Ay ay ay ay ay ay!
Oh Harkes… Thanks for translating Te Quiero for us gringos.
Now, is his name on back going to be Chicarito when the season starts, or is that just for exhibition?
Chicharito got more love than Giggsy. Haha. Welcome to America.
Chicapunto!! Hurray!!
Cha-Chi…never mind…
whats the story behind the nickname “chicharito”? does it translate into something? i know ito means like little and is used in nicknames a lot but what does it mean and how did he get it?
Wow. Way to go Ching.
Ned’s head just exploded, right?
Ching with the header we all could score
@OM: They announced late last week he would be allowed to have Chicarito I believe. Game on!
Chuparito on for ManUre
Yay Ching! (Although he looked offside to me)
Ching!
@Arkie: Little Sweet Pea I think.
I wish they were playing in Arizona…….
Little pea I think, but I’m just a gringo.
@ Ryan: Thanks. I guess I thought they would make you have to prove yourself in the new league before they let you use a nickname or go by your first name on the shirt…so, Berbatov could be allowed to have “Continental” on his shirt then?
not a nickname I’d be that proud of. Especially wwhen he gets older.
@phil: No, but it’s sitting on my shelf. I’ve been meaning to, but I keep neglecting him. Much in the same way that I’ve read thirds and quarters of various of Husserl’s books but never seem to finish them.
@spec: glad you said it. he lined up behind the entire team before the kick. Cheating bastard! Keelhaul him.
It’s like Kun Aguero. I read somewhere that he’s called that b/c it was the name of one of his favorite anime characters. Heh.
Wilman Conde: not afraid to choke a bitch
Golazo.
@Anon: Husserl’s a pain in the ass to read. Horrific writer. M-P has his own style, but once you get the hang of it, it’s a great read.
Yellow for Scholes by the 76′