Don't try and take the lion's ball, as he will f**k you up.
In this week of rudeness, I figured it would be a good idea to explain why I’ve only taken spurious and unwarranted swipes and certain teams. Team by team, here’s the explanation.
Aston Villa — With all due respect to Keith, this team is not worthy of discussion without Martin O’Neill and James Milner. And now they aren’t even in the Europa League.
Birmingham City — If Aston Villa isn’t worth discussing, what on Earth makes Birmingham worth discussing?
Blackburn Rovers — Sure, they have Sam Allardyce and his gum, but this isn’t 1993 anymore, so we don’t rate you.
Blackpool — You don’t have to shut up. You’re going to be cute and fun until you go back down.
SF Bolton — You deserve nothing because you’re Stupid F**ks.
Everton — I considered taking a swipe at your fans, but really, commenter Brian is it for you guys, so piss off.
Fulham — Do you even play in the EPL anymore since Hodgson left?
Newcastle United — We’ll chime in when the fat owner guy starts doing stupid sh*t again.
Stoke City — Your ugly-ass style of play repulses us, so we can’t hear your blockhead fans.
Sunderland — I didn’t even realize they were still a club.
West Brom — You’re OK since you’re going back to the nPowership in the spring.
West Ham — Ummmm… pass.
Wolves — You have Mick McCarthy as a manager. That makes you worthy of ridicule and pity, nothing more.
So there you have it. I do truly hope that this whole silly, stupid exercise was intended with tongue in cheek. Mostly. Anyway, enjoy the games this weekend, and cheers for reading and playing along. And don’t worry, the United one is coming soon. And I agree with Bergkampesdios that you all should just ignore it.
The reason for Potters to shut up could have been used for Birmingham, Sunderland, Blackburn, Bolton…
@TSE: Fair enough. But what if I told you Ottmar Hitzfeld was coming in to manage?
So what was the postage on mailing this one in?
@Georger: Not sure as it was one of those older stamps that don’t expire but rates have since gone up.
Spurs are s**t.
I have a box of four cent stamps, I refuse to buy new ones I just put a dozen on each thing I need to send.
Also I’m looking forward to the United one (if TSE is writing it) as we all know the flaws of our own clubs and fellow supporters better than anyone.
@Georger
You didn’t actually think he’d do all 20 teams?
And yes, the United one goes up later today.
What are you the thought police?
@Georger
Why, are you the jerk police, and you’re on your own Most Wanted List?
/whoa
I’m the dream police, now get in my car.
Listen all I’m saying is there are much better reasons to hate all these clubs. Except for Everton as where the hell would TSE be without Everton? But how can someone pass on West Ham when they’re responsible for Green Street Hooligans? HOW!
He’s clearly saving his remaining vitriol for his own loose-moral collective (I hope)…
Pretty sure Arsenal supporters can think of a few reasons to find Brum and Stoke more reprehensible than most as well.
TSE I hope that you put exactly this much effort (or less) into the United post. Much appreciated.
Pretty sure Fulham does still play in the EPL, TSE. In fact, you of all people should now considering that every year Fulham takes points off of ManURE…including this year.
/yeah, someone mentioned us!
Out of the rest, Sunderland fans (wherever they are) could calm themselves, as they are the poor man’s version of Spurs. Each year, it seems the pundits call for them to be the “surprise” team but then they are in a relegation scrap after Christmas. Hell, I think half their squad are Spurs leftovers, so they could just shut it, be content with the bottom half, and make a deal for Alan Hutton soon!
@OM
Must admit, I drank Mackems Kool-Aid last summer. Felt with that midfield of Cana, Cattermole and Richardson/Malbranque on the flanks, they were set for big things. Nope.
@ JT: See! That happens every season. I guess everyone thinks there’s some genius floating around in Bruce’s gigantic noggin and it winds ‘em up to the point where if they finish 13-15 in the table, it’s a disappointing year. It’s not a disappointment, it’s realistic. Somebody could help them though–Alan “pants” Hutton–get him now Bruce before ‘Arry eats a tainted bacon sandwich and decides to give him a run out!
@JT: Your first mistake was believing in Kieran Richardson.
@Keith
I meant Jordan Henderson.
@Geroger: I think that’s the first Cheap Trick/Billy Ocean combo comment ever.
@PR: Woy has got him out of his head.
@JT: even still. . .
Yeah I’m pretty proud of that.
@Georger: I’m almost done with the United one. There are so many reasons why we should shut up, it’s hard to narrow it down.
As for this post, did you not get the point? For me to find better reasons (and I have many of them), I would be giving credence and respect to those clubs. Originally, this post was going to just say “you’re not worth it” after the jump. I decided to give Aston Villa a shred of respect but that’s it.
As a Fulham supporter, I didn’t know I needed to shut up in the first place. We’re that cuddly team from West London who might give your big-time team some trouble. Frankly, with no revenue sharing or salary cap, that’s all we can hope for. And that’s OK.