El Tri Punishments >> MLS Punishments

"Six months for 14 hookers? That's only 2/5ths of a month each! The math works out!"

It took them a fortnight to figure out, but the Mexico Football Federation have finally decided how to punish El Tri players for a post-game party held after the Colombia friendly on Sept. 7.

The party, as you’ll recall from NYK’s post last week, involved 14 prostitutes, one of whom had a little extra downstairs and broke several rules in the El Tri Code of Conduct; I’m betting most Codes of Conduct for national soccer teams have such clauses, except for many any team involving Originaldo. But I digress.

The punishments: Arsenal’s Carlos Vela and Celtic’s Efrain Juarez received six-month suspensions, while 11 other players (Rafa Marquez, Javier Hernandez, Giovani dos Santos, Guillermo Ochoa, Francisco Rodriguez, Carlos Salcido, Andres Guardado, Gerardo Torrado, Pablo Berrera, Hector Esqueda, and Hector Moreno) all received fines for an undisclosed amount.

I’m assuming that all 13 weren’t suspended because Mexico has a few games to close out 2010, but it’s a damn sight more than Thierry Henry received for scrambling FC Dallas goalkeeper Kevin Hartmann’s ankle ligaments during a failed, and pointless, goal celebration. I get that he didn’t mean anything by it, but $2,000 is a little light considering Hartmann will be out a couple of weeks down the stretch for the playoffs. Still, I guess karma got him via that sprained knee that’ll keep him out of the marquee tilt with the LA Galaxy on Friday.

Regardless, El Tri are without two of their kids for a while, leaving them free for hooker romps in private.