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October 12, 2010
 

Goal.com Wins “Most Obvious Story of 2010″ Award

FAILdrops keep falling on my head

Congratulations to the fine cut-and-pastery of Goal.com, for breathlessly informing us that currently-out-of-his-depth Wolfsburg manager Steve McClaren would not consider a return to England and the wretched task of leading the Three Lions once Fabio Capello says ciao.

Imagine that: the Wally With The Brolly, subject of endless parodies following England’s abject performance against Croatia that stopped the England team from having the chance to fail at Euro 2008, won’t go back to the scene of his greatest ignominy and pain as a manager. I swear, sometimes these storylines write themselves, though with a meaty assist from our good friend, common sense.

McClaren may be the owner of a superb faux Dutch affectation—does anyone know if he’s adopted the classic German glottal sound since moving to Wolfsburg?—but he’s certainly not foolish enough to attempt to salvage the flaming wreckage of his career as an international manager.

Instead, I expect he’ll continue to flit about with mid-level teams where he’ll work wonders on a shoestring, get lauded for his modest efforts, and then depart for some new club existing just enough outside the spotlight so that if he does well, he’ll get a glowing profile but if he fails, he’ll get left alone. None of these qualities apply to the England job. It’s got more spotlights than American Idol.

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