Boy has he acted Klassy.
This whole Wayne Rooney thing ends with no good result. Sure, United keep their best player for five more years, assuming he’s ever going to be their best player again (and you England fans are hoping beyond hope for this, too). But I feel like a bar waitress after a visit from Ben Roethlisberger after this is all said and done.
Sure, Rooney stays. Yay. Right? Not so fast. I’ve lost a lot of respect for him. It turns out he’s not a United guy. He’s a Liverpool chav through and through. And his agent, Paul Stretford (how dare he have that name), pulled a great scam. In the process, he ruined the relationship between the club and the player. But he got his cash, so screw it, right?
In the end, I hate this. And I’m sure you all will have a good laugh. It’s OK.
The whole thing blew up last night before the contract was signed. Aside from the balaclava-wearing fans descending on Rooney’s house (side note: am I the only one who starts singing Vampire Weekend’s “Horchata” every time he hears the word “balaclava”?) and the death threats about him moving to Citeh, there was the backlash from players and the realization that Rooney had screwed us over as he had the fans at Goodison Park.
On a personal level, I was moving through the stages of grief, and last night was all about anger. I had it all wrong. I admit it. But some of the UF crew had it spot-on. And some of the UF crew just wanted to bust my balls. Here’s a look into the anger.
It didn’t help that I was watching UCLA get killed by Oregon when Autoglass sent this (I’m editing to include only the best parts): “Ferg is a prick. I HATE this blame-the-athlete nonsense. … Rooney, be freeeee!”
The Likely Lad chimes in: “The image of an angry mob of united supporters (with torches and pitchforks, of course) storming the gates of the Rooney estate is about the funniest thing in footy history. I mean, how many guys have left FOR United on that same pretense????”
Bitter about Berbatov much?
Norfolk Ned even jumped on the case: “Hahahahah. I agree!!! Be free Roonster.”
I finally respond: “I like you, (Autoglass), but in this case, you’re so f***ing wrong I’m not even going to respond beyond this.”
Yeah, like that happened. Things got heated after that, with lots of f-bombs from me and the back and forth with Ned.
My main point: “HE HAS A CONTRACT!!! What a Darrell Revis a**hole he’s being. … He’s not gone on a free this season. But he’s decided to be a petulant f**k and bring the whole f**king club into his morass. He sure had no trouble wearing the f**king United shirt to make that f**king FIFA 11 commercial, did he? This isn’t a club being despotic. This is a player holding a club hostage. My respect for him dies more each day.”
Ned’s view: “Yes and the club were pressuring him to sign a new one. HE DOESN’T WANT TO!!!! So he can play for united and walk in 18 mos and see it out but United DON’T WANT THAT. They want money!!! He will honor the contract if thats what they choose but you cannot scold a man for choosing to leave. He has that right not to sign again!!!!”
In the end, we were both right. This went back and forth for a few minutes (with TLL jumping on the dogpile every once in a while) until the voices of reason joined the argument. I go on record giving Spectator full credit for having this pegged.
“Meh, when he swears allegiance to United and says it was all a big misunderstanding and he’s happy with the new contract that United has offered, all will be forgiven.”
He was absolutely right, except all isn’t going to be forgiven for quite a while by me.
James T chimed in with more reality: “I think expecting something different of him in the first place may have been the problem, especially considering he f**ked his childhood club by making the move from Goodison way back when. … As for assignation of blame, I put that at Paul Stretford’s feet. He’s one of the absolute worst. Have to wonder why he and Rooney worked so hard to suppress the book written about them and their dealings.”
And in the end, NY Kid won the exchange: “The problem was that you had any respect for that f**king chav in the first place.”
Exactly. In the end, United fans expected more from their player. They expected loyalty. They expected that Rooney’s words could be taken seriously.
In the end, I named my dog after a chav. He got his money, United fans are left holding the bag.
How am I supposed to be happy again?
♫In December…♫
Rename the dog Giggsy.
@OM: I think once I get a job and move back OUT of my parents’ place (yes, I’ve hit hard times) I’ll start calling him Giggsy. I should have gone with my gut on the name in the first place.
You missed one f-bomb, before “FIFA 11 commercial.”
Ha. Thanks.
@ TSE: Wise decision. Just don’t do a switcheroo and rename him Neville or anything–he’d be the most hated dog on your new block and get into too many fights.
FWIW, I always think of the little Middle Eastern pastries when I see “balaclava.” Which makes reading a story about balaclava-clad people issuing death threats.
@TSE: Or, if push comes to shove, you can go ahead and rename him Bale. :P
(Makes reading a story about balaclava-clad people issuing death threats odd. I suck at complete thoughts.)
@TSE: You’ll be calling the dog Chicharito soon enough.
They look so happy together. No more trouble in paradise!
But never fear! ‘Arry has some thoughts to share.
/shut up, ‘Arry
As a Yankees and United fan (I know I know, f*ck me right?), Rooney is now on par with A-Rod for me. Sure, I’ll root for A-Rod every time he comes to the plate because he wears the pinstripes, but he’s a sh*tty guy and he’s only here for the money, and every time I see his face he reminds me of how business has taken over sports. The instant he leaves or retires, he can DIAF as far as I’m concerned.
@Anon: he can’t be serious about the one-year contract idea, can he?
Ah, ‘Arry and his stupid like a fox routine. It’s amazing that he continues to okie-doke the press with his silliness.
As to subject at hand, after all Fergie has done to unsettle players, it’s immensely gratifying to see him getting coals heaped in his lap. I don’t however, envy the position in which this kind of thing puts ManU fans. We went through it with Berba, and Keane, and fucking Carrick, and it sucked. So, TSE, MP, Wedel, and WSR, I feel your pain, and at the same time, I laugh, because you’re g*d*mn right I’m still bitter about Berba. And Carrick. And Sheringham.
All apologies for the uncensored f-bomb.
I like how phil censored the invocation of the Noodly Deity, but not his f-bomb. Lol.
Oh, and now Arsene has decided to chime in: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1322918/Arsenal-boss-Arsene-Wenger-stunned-Wayne-Rooneys-decision-stay-Manchester-United-Chelsea-manager-Carlo-Ancelotti-wasnt-fooled.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
@Anon: That is funny. I just noticed I did that. WTF.
@MP: As a fellow Yankees fan, I felt the same way about A-Rod. Except that he’s ours now. If for some freakish reason he should fail to understand exactly what it means to be a Yankee, and so should leave to play somewhere else, I’d agree with your DIAF prescription. If he retires as a Yankee, then I’ll be ok with him. Yeah, he’s an artificial douchebag. But he’s a Yankee, dammit.
@ phil: Oh, Teddy, that one stung. Ambivalent on Berba though, never assumed he’d stick around for too long
Well, now that the World’s Greatest Manager has shed his baguette-strewn light upon the situation, I now know what I should think.
@Anon: You’re so right. I hate it, but you’re right. Also, if we manage to win tonight, which one of us is gonna fly down to Texas and tell Cliff Lee that we are already prepared to sign him and he can stop trying to impress us by shutting us out over and over again?
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Re: Harry: I’m interested in seeing him implement this one-year contract policy for the young players at WHL. Then we’ll see how he likes it when every major club in the world is knocking on the doors of Bale and Dawson and Lennon and Huddlestone and Two Saints and offering them more money than Spurs could possibly match…
@Anonsters: From the ‘Arry link, first sentence. “Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp has out at player power in the game” Some quality writing there ESPN.
Also, I disagree with TSE that “This whole Wayne Rooney thing ends with no good result. ”
It ended with him not going to City. That’s a fantastic result.
@ Ryan: But did you notice in the photo of Roo and Fergie that Roo’s all hairy again? He’s getting his Samson-esque winter fur coat back to destroy the league upon his injury return!
That’s the thing, am I the only one not convinced he’s going to return to form?
/Cue hat trick in the derby.
@ Ryan: I’m only basing that on the fact he’s gone hairy again/reverse shorn balls theory
@MP — As a fellow Yankees fan, I second what Anon said. But (and I don’t like defending the guy) remember, A-Rod was willing to take a pay cut when he was trying to get out of Texas. Union just wouldn’t let him do it, which is why he ended up with the Yanks instead of the Sox.
@DAN – and maybe if AROD wasn’t a greedy prick to begin with, he would not have had to take such a ludicrous (per MLBPA) pay reduction
“am I the only one who starts singing Vampire Weekend’s “Horchata” everytime I hear the word “balaclava”?”-LATFH, no I think of a tasty Turkish treat http://www.tucsongyros.com/images/BAKLAVA.jpg
@ TNO: Worked at a Greek restaurant for 2 yrs in college–we sold that stuff like a dealer on the street. Some customers wanted it in rock form (semi-frozen) while others wanted it already cooked up (warmed up under the lamps) but it was always the same price: $3.50!
@Tno/OM: AHEM.
@ Anon: Apologies: I had only scrolled up to phil’s censored uncensoring comments
@Anon
Ya but did you insult TSE?
@Tno: It’s OK. Pupsters is allowed. I’m thick-skinned today.
And today would be the day I don’t feel like flinging insults. Bah.
@TSE
Will you ever love Rooney as much as you did a year ago?
@ TNO: I thought he had already turned away from Roo and started making “Come Hither” stares at Berba this season.
@Tno: No. He’s ruined his rep with me. Ruined it.
@OM: I’m a slut. I would have happily loved both. But Rooney screwed it up.
@TSE: It all works out for the best, then. The Boob’s a languid lover. He’ll take all your time.
Late to the party here but… .ANON… Yankees/ Everton fan here… but definitely see the A-Rod as Rooney analogy as perfection…(PS I hate Rooney for leaving Everton anyways)Funny thing about Yankees… most of the time players coming, not leaving Yanks until they are thoroughly washed out…
Out from under the work pile this week and am just stunned by the amount. TSE, I’m not happy at all.
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As I said in TSE’s prior post, this is business and it sucks. I can’t believe he held the club hostage for a buck-eighty. With his recent performances, completely undeserved.
I’m not so secretly hoping that we sell him for a slightly less than CR7/9 sum now that he’s tied up for another 5 years and it’s not a panic sale. (Yes, I’d want a good Rooney at the club vs a good Rooney against the club, but I’d be perfectly willing to ship his a$$ to Italy and maybe only see him in Big Cup.) It would demonstrate to me that Rooney did not hold the club hostage – the two sides agreed to make up in public for the sake of maximizing value for a pending sale.
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Being as thick as he is (and putting aside Colleen’s sister’s health, for the sake of discussion), I don’t think he could hack another language. Shades of Ian Rush, methinks.
I’m also ready to take it from the rest of you re: what goes around comes around. However, I am not in favor of tapping up in any direction (to or from United, or for that matter other clubs). As an example, I have upped my Barca hatred to hitherto unknown levels due to the Cesc shenanigans of this past window.
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I will probably get some heat for this, but in defense of some – some – of United’s alleged transgressions, I think it is fair to say that many players already wanted to move to United due to the club’s stature (at least its pre-Glazer stature). By stature, I mean footballing stature, not wage packet (I know, naive). The alleged tapping up simply changes the desire play for United from static dream to active, possible reality. (I know, doesn’t change the fact that it hurts the player’s existing club.)
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I’ll be quiet(er) now.
I’m definitely not one to defend Rooney, but if you think he’s not worth 180,000 a week, why pay it to him?
He sees guys like Roque Santa Cruz making wages similar to what he was making, and asks for a raise.
Now, did he handle it terrible/douchily? Obviously. But I think the fault for actually giving in to him (if you feel that’s the wrong move) lies with Gill/Fergie/Glazers or whoever makes such decisions.
@Ryan: Like you, I’m thrilled he didn’t join City, albeit for obviously different reasons. I think that would have sent a terrible message to the team and added fuel to the fire that is the “potential, impending, end is nigh for United” doom stories stemming from Glazer ownership/financing.
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I don’t think he’s worth 180 and I would not have paid him unless it is a Ronaldo-type arrangement or a strategy to otherwise maximize transfer value. That said, neither SAF, nor David Gill, nor any of the Glazers contacted me for my thoughts on the matter. Quite inconsiderate, I think. Had they done so, I would have certainly advised them of my position.
What I don’t get it is the timing. Why now? They knew since the beginning of August that Rooney wasn’t going to sign a new contract (on whatever terms were being offered to him or suggested, or if no terms had been offered/suggested, that he was just goign to flat-out refuse). It’s pretty clear from the Grauniad podcast that Rooney’s agent was the one who gave the media the story. But why in the middle of October? Isn’t he on contract for like 18 more months? Wouldn’t he have been in a much better negotiating position in, say, a year, if he finds any form whatsoever between now and then, and when ManUre is looking at him going for free? I don’t get the timing.
@Wedel: Honestly, the only reasons I didn’t want him at City were that he’s in terrible form that he may not come out of, and it would screw up the already tenuous chemistry thing Mancini had going at Eastlands. If he’d been available last January, I would have had no problem with City snapping him up. I only bring that up because there were some City fans who took the position, “I wouldn’t want that Rag Munich c*** in the squad under any circumstances.”
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Anyways, maybe I was cherry picking a bit, but I was kind of responding to your comment that “Rooney held them hostage for 180,000″. I’m just saying, at some point, don’t you have to refuse to negotiate with a hostage taker if you feel his demands are unreasonable? Basically, my point is the blame definitely is bountiful enough to be spread around here, and I don’t totally fault Rooney for going after what he felt he was owed.
As I re-read your question, you may be implying that I still think it’s Rooney’s fault. I do. And this is the irrational fan in me – you’re being well-paid at one of the greatest clubs ever, anywhere, etc., do you need to drag the club through the mud like this?
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I have no problem with sportsmen making outlandish wages. However, when outlandish begins to hurt the team or hurt the club (in this case, stretching what is perceived to be already thin finances), then you’ve crossed a line. He doesn’t need 180, I’ll give him 110 or 120, but don’t kiss the badge and demand a 100% pay increase. You don’t love the club (as is now clear), you love the cash. As far as I’m concerned he and Cashley are in the same boat. F*ck ‘em both.
@Anon – perhaps there’s legitimate fear his form/health won’t return this season and he’s staring at one year which will decide his financial health for life?
*
Also, perhaps, the wife isn’t too happy, she’s talking divorce and with that baby….now might be the time to get as much money as I can because, hey, I can’t play forever, I’m not attractive and/or smart so my analysis opportunities are limited, tax man’s in my pocket…
*
I’m just speculating of course.
@Anonsters: Maybe I misinterpreted what they were saying in one of those Guardian podcasts, but it kind of sounded like he had an out clause for next summer where he could buy out his contract for 5 million. Which would mean he would have to be sold this January if United wanted to get anything for him.
That doesn’t explain why he did it in October as opposed to late December of course, but maybe it had something to do with it?
@Ryan: Our comments crossed, but I think I addressed it.
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Re: your Rag point, that is what I was assuming. As usual, you’ve done me one better by having a legitimate footballing reason.
@Pup: My guess is that the timing developed since the alleged tipover point on Aug 14. Maybe he thought he get his form back and kick a$$ and everyone would be happy. Maybe he thought he’d get away with the Jennifer Thompson stuff.
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Combination of hooker, terrible form and 18 months to go (inside the traditional United window of re-upping) brought things to a boil now rather than some other time. Like the others though, just speculation on that.
Oh believe me, I base my views on United’s players on the foundational belief that they are all terrible people, who kick puppies and push old ladies down in the street. So you don’t need to convince me that Rooney’s a jerk and a money loving mercenary in all of this. I totally agree.
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What I’m saying though is that if his wage demands really were too high, and they do stretch the club’s finances across the line, then isn’t it up to Ferguson and the fellated financial mind of David Gill to man up and just say no?
It’s just odd, not least because it appeared to come from nowhere.
*Of course, this is all moot if he gets sold in January, and Fergie really is the genius here after all.
@Ryan: Don’t hold your breath on that one. He’s put himself out there too much in public about loyalty and how much ManUre has done for Roo and blah blah blah.
Here’s the buyout story I was talking about.
If it really were just all about the Benjamins, or the Queens, or whatever’s on British money, that would’ve been a better deal, wouldn’t it? 300k/wk > 180/wk.
@Ryan: Your analysis is, of course, flawed re: the humanitarian nature of United’s other players, but Rooney, I’ll agree with. Although, he doesn’t so much push the old ladies down in the street, but rather down in the bed.
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Fully agree with your asterisk, I am holding out/hoping for a CR7-type sale.
@Wedel: Hey, don’t begrudge the man that. He probably has to pay extra for the rape roleplay.
Also, I like DML’s take on this, for the Spurs’ angle:
@Pup: My list of “begrudges” is so long right now, I can see clear to leaving that one off the list.
@Ryan: Interesting on the Webster buyout, I saw some talk about that too vis a vis a conspiracy theory between Stretford and Fergie. Stretford loses money if Rooney walks on a free, United loses money if Rooney walks. Create turmoil, must leave, sell for anything more than zero and both parties make money they would have lost on a free.
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I can’t comment as to veracity, but I did hear something similar.
@Wedel: Don’t be so hasty to be forgiving, my friend. I just realized. He can now use some of that extra dough he squeezed out of y’all to pay the fetish premium.
Rivaldo? Well, only if we can also replace ‘Arry with Big Phil Scolari too. Also, can we sign Roberto Baggio’s pony-tail, or did it have to retire too?
@Anon: Your wise counsel is again noted and I have placed said offending behavior back on my begrudging list!
Just because he signed a contract doesn’t mean that some sh¡t can’t happen between now and January. Contracts don’t mean much anymore. There’s blood in the water.
@Tno: Exactly, here’s to hoping a continental (no, not the Berba) bidding war ensues and we’re shot of him. There will be much flowery language and good-byes to his “mentor” and how it’s better this way and “it’s not you, it’s me”. I can’t see it hurting the club as much as say, a move to City, nor would it hurt performance based on the way he’s playing.
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Right now, I don’t even care if the money is used to buy another striker or is used to pay down the debt. Lower debt is better for United and having a malcontent gone is better for United. I can deal with Strikeforce: Berba-man and MexiManc.
Amazing to see how fast the Mancs have quaffed The Boob-Aid.
Ok waaaay too many comments to read (while I’m baking a cherry pie) and don’t want to get distracted and burn it. Apologizes if this has already been covered, but didn’t Stretford (the agent) get a crapload of money after Roo went to United? And there was the tapping-up fine? I agree he’s a dirtbag, because the club is going to be sucked dry in Rooney’s wages till they sell him, and THEN try to re-coup some costs on someone who may be past his glory days. So, the player wins, the club hopefully breaks even, but the agent makes out like a g*ddamn bandit.
@MW: If the player wins, the agent did his job. Bandit away.
@Wag: Dave Barry proposed that, if he were elected President, his foreign policy would revolve around the Department of Two Guys Named Vito. If there was a foreign policy problem, Dave would mention to the Vito One and Vito Two that for example, “he would not be disappointed if something unfortunate were to happen to Saddam Hussein” and the two Vitoes would take care of it.
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For my own part, I would not be disappointed if something unfortunate were to happen to Paul Stretford.
@Anon – did the player win in this situation in any other way than financially? That does mean more to some people, but when you’re making obscene amounts of money each week, it must get to a point where it all runs together, eh? We should ask James T that…lol.
@Wag: btw Warrant approves of your dessert choice.
@Wedel – funny you mention that…I’ve been looking for two people named Vito for quite some time now for unrelated matters. If you ever track them down, let me know.
@Wedel – Warrant, like the band? Or did I miss something? Because basically all 80′s hair metal bands would agree with my ‘liquid’ dessert choice (I’d imagine).
@MW: I’m pretty the money’s going to be a big deal to most of these people. Else why would they bother with an agent at all, once they get above a certain amount of money? I thought surely you’d be cynical–er, realistic–enough not to believe that players are in it for any particularly high-minded or selfless reasons.
@Wag: Indeed Warrant the band. Will probably screw up the link but:
http://s734.photobucket.com/albums/ww349/lover80smusic/?action=view¤t=warrantcherrypie.jpg&newest=1
@Wedel – you so just beat me to that. I had a blonde moment (or minute). Didn’t get your joke, went to the kitchen, took the pie out (because good wags have to cook ONCE in a while…) and started humming that song. Then went…OOOOH. Came back. saw your post. Bah! The whole dessert thing I thought you were referring to was from the pod. Which they might agree with as well, but that’s now moot.
@Wag: As soon as the Vitoes get done with Stretford, I will gladly make them available on the pre-condition that the unfortunate things you seek to have occur are not directed towards United.
@Anon – yeah, the money comes a part, but then (at least the public excuse all players give) is that they come to a point where they want to win trophies (which was Roo’s excuse). Henry did it. Anelka did it. Hell, Fabregas was thinking it (although just said he wanted to go to his ‘boyhood home’ blah blah). The agent makes the contact and focuses on business (which constitutes not only money but other terms as well) and gets you to a club where you want to be. Although it seems like Rooney has plenty of free time (with all his hookers), their schedules are fuller than we’d expect and you think they want to go home and negotiate contracts with their wife around? That one gets a big “Child Please”….
@Wedel – you have my word they will in no way be directed towards United. And for the record, they will not be directed at OM’s kid either (if you’re also reading that AYSO post). Don’t fret.
@MW: I wasn’t seriously suggesting that, so much as trying to call you naive without calling you naive. BAE would like a few words with you, though.
@Wag: okay – done deal on the Vitoes.
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I have not yet taken in the Pod, as I just emerged from a pile of work and was focusing my energies on my “Wayne Rooney Begrudging List” in this post only so far.
@Anon – who is BAE? And instead of naive, I like to think of myself as the devils advocate of UF. Proposing the unlikely and ridiculous…but somebody has to say it. But, I will say, I’m impressed by your attempt at courtesy and avoidance of name-calling. Are you feeling okay?
@MW: Not really, I didn’t sleep last night. I’ll be better tomorrow, I’m sure.
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BAE = Benoit Assou-Ekotto.
@Wedel: If you want to feel particularly cheery about life as a ManUre fan, listen to the Grauniad podcast from Thursday. They have lots of good things to say about United.
@Anon – AHHA! I knew something was up….yeah, get some sleep. Noted on BAE. Yeah, why didn’t I think of that? /??
@Anon: Yeah, I’m a few pods behind in multiple places. Will check in with AC Jimbo and the crew tonight. Is Smyth on it?
@Wedel: Yup.
@Anon: Excellent. He’s knowledgeable, passionate and realistic, in my view. Will give it a listen. Thanks. I’m off to forage for sustenance.
I’m glad Rooney took everything through this personal horror. Hopefully some people got up and looked in the mirror and had a word with themselves about how meaningless this whole charade was. This doesn’t matter…so he can do this meanlingless crap to get more money from idiots. And everyone can following along pouring over every detail and expressing their opinion to whoever will listen…much like I’m doing here. Because it doesn’t matter. Hopefully we’ll all learn and grow from this ridiculous situation.
….but probably not.
“Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen,” eh, Dustin?
Anon- HECK YES WITH THE GERMAN. and I understood it. WINS ALL AROUND.