Sunday Bootroom: Manc You Very Much Edition

Eh, go watch a replay of PSV tearing Feyenoord a new one.

Maybe I can provide some late night entertainment then…
–
Oh New Jersey. It was actually a fairly normal wedding, my family isn’t totally Guido’d (Jersey Shore version) out. But there were some highlights:

Big Hair. I mean giant freakin’ hair (The men as well as the women, sadly). The hair wasn’t the only big feature of some of the bridesmaids. An antipasto spread like you wouldn’t believe. I think there were 7 courses, but I lost count. Bon Jovi and Springsteen were played no less than 10 times combined. At least one person brought an escort as a date (there were unconfirmed suspicions of others). No fights to report (the same cannot be said for past weddings on this side of my family). Some very nice suits juxtaposed with some very, very ridiculous ones. Add an open bar and you should have a pretty good idea of my weekend.

And Inter drew! All is well in Orrworld.

Indeed! We’ll see how my Giants and Rossoneri do tomorrow

@Goat: Thanks for the explanation.
What if Gaven was wearing pants though? Surely then he would have saved it.

Orr just described every wedding I’ve ever been too. Everything they say about Jersey is true!!

If I may, given Ferguson’s criticism of Rooney’s agent, I still think there’s a transfer coming. I might as well get it in, because if I’m right I look like a genius, and if I’m wrong you’ll never remember it.
Also, first penalty given at Parkhead in ten years. And it was already 2-1. And the game was getting away from you. Fuck you.
That is all.

@Shane: I am noting your predication in your file.

Just to put it to bed. Two of these are red cards. Neither were shown. And Loovens went to the face twice in a minute and wasn’t booked once. So f*ck off. McCulloch should’ve been sent off? 1) Bullshit. 2) You should’ve been playing with 10 men from the first minute.
We’re gonna win the league, we’re gonna win the league…
Because?
We are the people. Fifty-three and counting.

@pup: Thank you.
(also note: drinking for the first time in a long time)

The Stokes’ challenge was still definitely a red. I knew that this morning, and still know it now. Just in case you missed it…
That was a red. Dougie McDonald would’ve shown it.

@Shane: That’s because people named “Dougie” are fabulous human beings.

@pup: Don’t you forget it.

@Shane: That would be difficult to do, since it’s my name.

@pup: Fair play, sir.

8 mins into BBC Scotland’s wrapup, all we’ve discussed is Broadfoot’s dive, and I refuse to let this ruin my vibe. Anthony Stokes has played the role of cunt extraordinaire all season: first his multiple times hitting people about the face in the Hibs/Gers match this season, and then his fuck awful challenge in the C*ltic/Killie match… he’s got a record. He should’ve been off after 1.04 today.
.
.
.
And they’re talking about looking at tape on Broadfoot. Look at that shit! Look at Glen Loovens knocking multiple people about the head directly in front of the ref! Fuck the Scottish media, fuck C*ltic, you were poor and lucky for 45 minutes today, and complete shite for the other 45 and deservedly lost a match against a team that’s won consecutive titles. Apparently the media needs another day or two to get that out of them.
Your manager is shite, you’ve pissed away loads of cash on nothing, you stadium looks like a low-rent food market… f*ck off back to your hole, your little mendicant paradise, and enjoy watching us in Europe you f*cking c*nts.

@Shane – that is an incredibly nasty tackle. Definite red.

@NYK: I’m really only fired up this much 4 to 6 times a year, but thank you. That was a ridiculous challenge, no attempt at the ball whatsoever. Collum was overwhelmed at the task, but he did fairly well. It just pisses me off that the penalty is THE talking point of the match when it put us up 3-1 and they should’ve been a man down for 60 minutes by that point.
Stokes is a c*nt. At least he ended up where he belongs.

Ew. Gruesome stomach-heave-inducing-tackle-warning tag next time, please.

@pup: At least Papac finished the half like a pro, unlike those pussies down south. Waaah! I broke my leg in two places!
Get on with it.

HECK YES GREEN BAY!
/yes I know that this is NOT an AMERICAN football blog. Oh well….

Eek. Nasty clash of heads b/w Maggio and a Milano.

Antonini.

Bleh. Antonini’s being stretchered off. Oddo on in his place. Maggio with a cut on his head, looks like he’ll continue.

Maggio can’t continue, calls over to the bench to sub him. Nasty clash of heads that was, both he and Antonini going to head the ball.

Robinho 1 – 0 Napoli.

Against 10-man Napoli as Maggio had gone off the field and laid down because of his injury.

@ Anon: This match is live?

Fabulous ball from Lavezzi for Hamsik, who touched the ball around the net rather than in. Moron.

@OM: Yup.

YC for Sokratis. Next up: hemlock.

FFS, WTF is Napoli doing. Hamsik beats the offside trap, crosses the ball right across the face of goal. Yebda has the net as his mercy, and it looks like he tries to cross the ball back across the face of goal. WTF.

Dammit, ball drilled into the box where Cavani is basically unmarked, and he shins the ball out of touch.

It’s pouring rain and the Italians are still lighting off their flares. Smoky pitch. Aronica and Ibra roll around on the ground together.

Ibra’s a twat. That is all.

And Pazienza, already on a yellow, gets a YC for an intentional handball in midfield. RC. Buh bye. Sketchy call. Need a replay.

Jajaja, Lavezzi just made Gattuso look silly.

Lavezzi >< close to scoring, but for a fantastic save by Abbiati.

Dirty Leeds & Cardiff! Cardiff’s got a ginger and a grey-haired lad that are running the Whites ragged early on

And the second half begins with Napoli facing a mountain to climb.

Ooooh, so close for Lavezzi on a cross from Dossena. Poked it just over the bar. Have I mentioned that I <3 Lavezzi?

Chopra just gave Cardiff a 1-0 lead; Bellamy actually smiled

Funny. Dossena has ball control issues. I have bowel control issues.
/kidding
//about me, not Dossena

The Championship is a funny place; some of the players are so baby-faced I’m certain they can’t even grow a wispy ‘stache whereas the others look old as dirt.

Hmmm. Sokratis fouls Lavezzi literally on the edge of the box. FK comes to nothing. Then Sokratis looks like he pushes Lavezzi down in the box. Probably just strong defending, but Sokratis is having Lavezzi issues.

Boothroyd with the 2nd for Cardiff already; Dirty Leeds are turrible at defense; too easy

@ Anon: As opposed to logic issues?

@OM: Sounds like Italy!

(About the dinosaurs and babies playing together, I meant.)

Bluebirds already with a 3rd; Leeds are defending by playing 2 guys on Bellamy, so that when he distributes the ball, any other guy is open for a shot and the keeper is looking worthless

I swear I think I’m watching a replay of the same plays; Grey man slides it to Ginger on the R flank, Ginger crosses to whichever Cardiff player is open b/c 2 guys are shadowing Craiggers. Silliness.

Abbiati with another great save, this time on Hamsik after a blown clearance by Milan.

Oh wait, missed a goal; saw the scoreboard–4-0 Cardiff City

@OM: Maybe they’re going to do a Tin Cup and just keep trying it until it works, no matter how many Cardiff score.

OK, Gray-Head is Kevin McNaughton; he’s only 28 yrs old, but, he’s Scottish; I guess his homeland has prematurely aged him.

Well, after the 4th, Cardiff have cooled their heels a bit, allowing Dirty some possession now

And Robinho gets a YC for being a twat.

@ Anon: I thought he automatically started each match already on a yellow for that; he should be ejected by now…

Oh, Pato. 1-on-1 in the box and he can’t get it past De Sanctis. Of course, Milan got that chance because Napoli took a FK while one of their defenders was still on the ground with a knock. Morons.

Ooh, Babyface Nunez almost got one for Leeds with a ball that had the GK fooled; just wide

Well, that’s a bit of a surprising substitution. Sosa on for Hamsik in the 69th minute.

McNaughton to Ginger again, this time Leeds got smart and just fouled Chopra before Cardiff could score–again.

@ Anon: With or without his corked bat?

Nice tackle by Aronica on Robinho, but he also takes out Cavani who limps forward and gets a shot at the top of the box.

@OM: That’s funny. I saw St. Pauli have a defender named Carlos Zambrano.

Shit. Great ball in from Oddo on the right onto Ibra’s head. 2-0 to Orr’s Boys. How do you leave Ibra unmarked in the box?

@ Anon: That’s even funnier. I worked on a quick post about Zambrano of St Pauli. Guess that’s why I had baseball on the brain.

Sick move by Lavezzi on the touchline to beat the defender and get a ball across the box that Cavani misses entirely. Bah.

Heh. Four Napoli players manage to get a hack in on Ibra’s ankles before a foul is called. Ibra off (not hurt, just taken off), Seedorf on.

LAVEZZI! With a crazy goal. He fell over in the box, the ball was next to him, he stands up and lofts it over the keeper, off the bar, into the goal. Awesome goal.

HANDBAGS!

BENCH-CLEARING HANDBAGS!

SASIC? (Serie A Soccer is Crazy)?

Wow. Robinho is a fucking twat. As is Kevin-Prince Boateng. Unbelievable. Aronica put his hand on Robinho’s chest, and Robinho collapsed holding his face and writhing. Ref. doesn’t call anything, he gets up. After the whistle blows, KP Boateng gets in Aronica’s face, pushing ensues. Ibra, having been substituted, comes all the way over from the Milan bench, past Napoli’s bench, to get involved.

“Robinho is a fucking twat.”
Well, yeah.

Seriously, check out Lavezzi’s goal later on when it appears on the intertubes.

5 mimnutes of staoppage.

Well, great pressure all through stoppage time by Napoli. Got like 5 corners. Couldn’t get anything out of it, though. Milan 2 – 1 Napoli. Really good game.

Nice little liveblog there Anon, wish I could’ve watched along!

@Orr: Catch a replay of it if you can (it was on ESPN3). It was a good game. Hope Antonini’s alright. You always hate to see people taken off the pitch strapped into the stretcher and a neck brace. Unless it’s Ronaldo. Or Robinho.