Please resist the urge to punch your screen.
New York is a city of the world, representing myriad social classes, ethnicities, cultures, races, philosophies, biases, technologies, and the like. It is a “Melting Pot” that at times blends and at other times displays international diversity.
If Torsten Frings sees his way out of Germany, though, footballing fans of New York might have to grab the Pepto to deal with the indigestion of a Douche Stew.
In an interview with the German Press Agency (DPA), Frings noted that a contract extension with Werder Bremen has yet to be reached. (Warning: German link) Discussions have been ongoing since the beginning of the season, but without a deal soon, Frings’ contract expires in June.
Here’s where New York comes into play. In that same interview, Frings stated if he were unable to reach an agreement with Werder–he feels he has around 2 seasons left of football–he would not move to another Bundesliga club. Instead, he would consider playing his remaining days in the US, as New York is his “dream city.”
Now, the sports leader in letters is already reporting this as Frings seeking a move to Red Bull New York, but neither RBNY nor MLS is mentioned by Frings, only the city.
One could say just as easily write that Frings really wants to sign with the Brooklyn Knights of the Premier Development League. Brooklyn counts as New York, right?
Club Manager Klaus Allofs previously made it clear Werder want to sign Frings to an extension and will do so, so this in all likelihood is much ado about nothing. RBNY just signed an aging, douchebag, defensive midfielder this season in the form of Rafa Marquez. So, the Energy Drinks have already addressed that need.
What could be on the horizon–and this is absolutely speculative–is a Frings citing later as a signing for the reconstituted MLS side New York Cosmos. James T had a post over the summer about a rebirth of the Cosmos, and the organization continues to make news.
Today, the club without players or a league announced Giorgio Chinaglia has joined the Cosmos as its international ambassador. Bear in mind, the organization already has Pele selling himself out as its honorary President, so it seems a bit redundant to have another person as an “international ambassador.”
Rumors abound that MLS would look for a 2nd team in NY and recent snippets suggest there is now solid financing behind the Cosmos and the organization is trying to attract David Beckham to the project.
Goldenmort and Frings, along with several other notable, expensive old-timers in a couple years? Sounds like something Pele and Giorgio were involved in a few decades ago.
So, New Yorkers, prepare yourselves now. Frings will likely not be gracing your stadia soon, but after he’s outplayed his usefulness at Werder, he might be the dirty straw that stirs the drink in a Cosmos/Red Bulls derby.
Don’t forget your Rolaids too.
[h/t to Hittmar Otzfeld for the tip]
At the risk of repeating myself, [censored] Frings right in his hosen.
Yes, thank you Hittmar. When I saw the name this morning, I had to look 2x as I thought James T was getting messages from the Swiss team manager
Chinaglia and Frings? Who are the marketing geniuses behind that?
Frings and Henry could turn NYRB into a helluva volleyball team.
Also, f*ck Torsten Frings in the pants with Rafa Marquez’ face.
@ Goat!: That combo is a purely speculative part. Giorgio’s definitely back in the mix for the NY Cosmos org, but Frings going to either RBNY or a potential MLS Cosmos in the future is absolutely speculative.
Please, Titi… leave NYRB so I can hate them without reservation.
@OM: Yeah, I know. It was more a commentary on the fact that all US Americans should hate Frings and that Chinaglia is a horrible a**hole.
@ Goat!: Agreed on both parts; had to restrain myself from using the word d-bag too often for this one…
“deal with the indigestion of a Douche Stew” – classically hysterical while also being thoroughly disgusting. Two points for OM!
NY deserves him. that place is a pretentious, overpriced rathole. AND TAKE YOUR GODDAMN TEAMS BACK YOU SCUMBAGS!!! quit dumpin garbage like the jets/giants/redbulls in our already crappy state.
/sorry, just really, really hates NYC
@ Goat
I forgot they have Rafa Marquez. The mere thought of this makes my blood boil. Can we insert the head of one in the the rectum of the other, like some sort of ouroboros?
@Andrew; Human Centipede 2.. Which one’s the asshole?!
@TPRU – we don’t like you either!!
/sticks out tongue
also, Torsten Frings is a !@%$%@#^(@#^@#) of the highest order. @#%)@#^*&)!!@$!@ right in the pants.
Hmm. It’s missing something.
@TPRU
Both? Neither? It’d be a circular arrangement. (Ouroboros is a snake eating it’s own tail)
@Andrew
Worse yet if it was a human centipede.
You people and your fancy big city!
/Shakes fist at NY Kid
this TPRU/NYK scuffle feels a bit Springfield v. Shelbyville right now.
Well if they hadn’t stolen our lemon tree we wouldn’t be having this issue!
@JT: Needs more hate-hoots.
FUCK TORSTEN FRINGS RIGHT IN THE FACE
sorry couldn’t censor that one…
With Marquez and Frings, RBNY would only need Materazzi to complete the douche trifecta.
human centipede references make me feel uneasy.
/feed her! yes! feed her!
fans of Rafa would like a word with you….
and an evening with your mother.
^ right. So Rafa Marquez isn’t a douche because he wants to bang my mom… Got it.
tss tss.
after all these years still this slightly amusing unabated frings hate. when all it would’ve changed would have been your lot going out in penalties at the hands of our even more amiable ex-goalkeeper.
strange thing this germany squad may have been, but they had some steely, never-give-up quality on them; more so then usual. maybe induced by the almost botched qualification.
The math teacher needs to take my class.
/Shakes fist and nonenglish teacher
and also that dude who thinks rafa marquez has fans
Red Bull??!!? Nein!!! Jersey Shore…Ja!!