Unprofessional Foul
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October 29, 2010

Yeah, Rooney’s Never Playing Again For United

At least his neck's in good health

Call it principles, call it stubbornness, call it what you will, but is anyone really buying Wayne Rooney’s latest injury setback?

Let’s review: he’s holidaying—I’m sorry, rehabbing—in Dubai and Fergie is just revealing today that the injury was worse than they thought?

Huh? Worse than they thought? How complex an issue could it be? It’s an ankle. Aren’t the doctors at Old Trafford competent in any way? (Don’t answer that; Owen Hargreaves is still on the medic’s table)

Key quote from Fergie: When asked this morning whether he still thought the injury would sideline the striker for no more than three weeks, Ferguson said: “I think it may be longer.”

And so, the obvious conspiracy theory born in the wake of RooneyGate becomes the apparent storyline: Ferguson doesn’t want to use Wayne Rooney any more as their relationship is in ruins.

It all began with that initial war of words: Fergie said that Wayne was still injured, only for the young, potato-headed striker to come out and say he’s been fine in training all along. It sparked the contract mess that we all tired quickly of, but the signing of the deal was supposed to be the conclusion to this lover’s tiff? Or maybe the cheesy, hilarious photo op didn’t dispel our suspicions that all was not suddenly forgotten at Old Trafford?

Fergie’s a known curmudgeon. This is a basic analysis. He’s dumped players for far less egregious actions under his watch, but for now, the wily Scot can’t care much. Javier Hernandez is slowly gaining momentum while Dimitar Berbatov has shown the style and artistry that convinced him to splash £30m on the Bulgarian way back when. With Rooney a million miles away on some artificial beach, sipping gin and rubbing suntan lotion across his scorned wife’s browning back, it’s out of sight and out of mind.

We’re all sick of this saga, but with Rooney likely to remain out until well into December, it would appear to untrained eyes that Ferguson’s personal ethics will dictate that for as long as he’s in charge at United, young Wazza will remain sidelined for one reason or another.

Only question is, when his ankle finally does heal, what will the reasoning be then?



About the Author

James T





17 Comments


  1. Mountain Wag

    Well, I think that’s rather obvious…he won’t be able to play because he has The Clap. (-;


  2. Ryan

    I’ll eat a scarf if he isn’t on the bench at minimum for the Manchester derby.


  3. Mountain Wag

    The STD will hold him up for some time. But for the record…it seems I actually got this prediction right (that is, him still around just for a few weeks of outrageous pay just to be transferred in Jan.). /not counting chickens yet…


  4. Mountain Wag

    @Ryan – I hope it’s the crappy poly blend kind..not a fine pashmina or silk. I want it to be hard to swallow…


  5. Ryan

    Honestly, didn’t the exact same thing happen back in March with a Rooney injury?


  6. Precious Roy

    I’m more concerned with the size and the patterning of the scarf. I think it should be like the one Mancini wears and should be no less than 5 feet in length. So long as it isn’t made of chocolate or ginger snaps, I don’t care about material.


  7. Anonsters

    Heh. We all line up to await Ryan’s scarf consumption.


  8. White Speed Receiver

    Once his ankle is healed, he’s just going to make a heel turn. I fully expect him to run onto the pitch and hit Giggs in the back with a folding chair at some critical moment.


  9. Anonsters

    I fully expect him to run onto the pitch and hit Giggs in the back with a folding chair at some critical moment.

    That would be pretty sweet, actually.


  10. Anonsters

    I know I already asked this earlier, but… Dubai??


  11. Outside Mid

    In all fairness to Sir Alex, Roo might just be seeing the same crummy doctor that Jonathan Woodgate and Ledley King have been consulting.


  12. Ryan

    You’re telling me this happening again is totally out of the question?


  13. Wedel

    @Anon: The beaches in Miami, the Caribbean, the South of France, etc. could not match Rooney’s ambition. Only the beaches of Dubai had what it takes.
    -
    Also, I think Stevie Mbe has a building named after him in Dubai. That’s actually the Dubai Tourist Board’s tagline – Dubai: It’s huge with Scousers!


  14. Wedel

    Also, eff Wayne Rooney.


  15. Anonsters

    It just seems odd. Oh, you have an ankle injury, and it’s worse than we thought. I know, you should go to Dubai!!! Oook.


  16. Mountain WAG

    @Ryan – start fasting. I hear scarves are filling: http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11095_6478452,00.html


  17. Ryan

    Looks to me like a rehash of the same story. Again, Ferguson has pulled this stuff before- just 6 months ago in fact.

    Yum.



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