Unprofessional Foul


November 8, 2010

Best Brace of the Weekend: Scouser Edition

Scouser Porn

This weekend we had a plethora of braces, and while none of them seem to qualify as an “F-U Brace”, there are a few which come very close. Let’s break down the braces in the EPL, Serie A and Bundesliga (Outside Mid to the white courtesy phone) and rank them.

I made some pseudo-scientific formula to the goals, based on
1) quality of goal;
2) team differential (how much higher or lower was the opponent; and
3) other factors.

Not that we’re all sucking James T’s Popsicle this morning, but…

Fernando Torres (Liverpool): This team needed a big win to show the league they are serious in not being relegated, and in classic Torres style, he responds. His first was a nice feed from Kuyt, and the second from Morales.

Asamoah Gyan (Sunderland): Bonus points for scoring in his first start for Sunderland, and while the first goal was a put-back, the second had some nice distance on it, and showed some style. Steve Bruce finds another scorer? Who knew?

Sidney Sam (Bayer Leverkusen): K-town is at the bottom of the table, and while his first goal has some distance and location, it is his second goal of the match was an amazing long distance volley that was perfect in placement and froze the keeper.

Kevin Davies (SF Bolton): This should be higher, but his second was a penalty. It gets points because he plays for SFB, and it was made spurs fans everywhere cry a little cry, and that is like sunshine on a cloudy day.

Mario Balotelli (Manchester City): Two very nicely-timed runs with feeds from David Silva for both goals were very nice to watch. He has some fine form, and I wonder how Adebayor thinks about not being the best. Added bonus of last minute red card, totally deserved. Hot Blooded!

Edinson Cavani (Napoli): They were playing poor beaten-down Parma, and the first goal he appears to be offside, but the second was done in a nice tight space with a defender hanging his sausage all over him.

Cacau (Stuttgart): They were playing up against a struggling Werder Bremen, his first was a great feed from Marica, and the second was a nice open field shot. He loses points by Fabregas-ing a penalty kick shortly thereafter.

Ji-Sung Park (Manchester United): One of the weakest braces of the day, the first goal was some typically poor Wolves marking in the middle, and the second was in the “Play until United scores” Time, though it was in traffic. But it was enough to please The Stretford End.

And just to annoy TSE, I will finish “What do you think? Let us know in the comments.”

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Moonshine Mike